


Blind Item

by lizwontcry



Category: Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF, The Voice RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizwontcry/pseuds/lizwontcry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Gwen and Blake's relationship may have started out as a public relations creation, but as they find out more about each other, it becomes something else completely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *DISCLAIMER: I in no way believe this is how things went down, but I have to admit that I did have my doubts _sometimes_ during the show. And the more people talk about the possibility, the more intrigued I become by the idea of, what if it was a PR thing in the beginning? So bear with me here and I promise, it'll be worth it in the end.
> 
> Anyway! As always, I love: kudos, comments, critiques. Thank you for reading and rock on.

_August 2015_  
The only sound that can be heard in the tiny office on the Voice stages is the buzzing of the air conditioner. Gwen is staring at her nails, thinking she desperately needs an appointment for a manicure, and Blake is messing around on his phone, probably tweeting something dumb and offensive.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Blake asks Gwen when they've been sitting there in silence for 10 minutes. He's clearly irritated. She shrugs. 

"I'm not sure yet." She knows exactly why, actually, but she doesn't want to tell him yet.

"Man, I could be on a plane back to Oklahoma right now," Blake says, shaking his head.

"Why? So you can hurry up and get back to murdering innocent woodland creatures?" Gwen asks, not able to keep the rudeness out of her voice. 

Blake looks stunned for a moment, but then recovers quickly. "Yeah. There's a 10 point deer I got my eye on from the trail cam pics. He's handsome. Looks like Bambi's brother or somethin'." He's trying to annoy her. It works. 

Gwen just scoffs. She goes back to daydreaming about a manicure and he goes back to checking his tweets. She's starting to wonder if this plan is even worth proposing more and more with each passing second. Blake's a nice guy, but she doesn't want to spend much more time with him than she has to. Well, so much for that.

A few minutes later, Amanda, one of the representatives from Gwen's management team--and one of her best friends, Blake knows--comes in with Matthew, a PR manager Blake has worked with in the past. Gwen sees Blake look at the two of them in confusion as he stands up to greet them. She's both looking forward to and dreading what's about to happen. Everyone shakes hands and exchange pleasantries. 

"So you're probably wondering what this meeting's about," Matthew says.

"Yeah, no shit," Blake replies. Gwen rolls her eyes.

"Okay, well, I'll just come out with it," Amanda says. "The two of you have gone through very public divorces in the last few months, and you're still picking up the pieces. You're also, as I understand, both coming out with new albums and tours in 2016."

"This better be goin' somewhere," Blake says, looking like he's going to jump up and leave the room any second now.

"It is, Blake, please calm down for a moment," Matthew replies. "In any case, we came up with a plan that you probably won't appreciate, but we _know_ will be very beneficial to both of you--and your careers."

"Look, I'm doing just fine with my career," Blake snarls. "I don't need no 'plan' or whatever the hell y'all are thinking about doin'."

"Damn, Blake, just shut up and listen," Gwen says to him. She usually doesn't demand things out of him, and Blake is taken aback. But he also shuts up and tries to listen.

"Anyway. We went around and around with ideas for what we can do to boost both of your albums and tours next year, and get viewership and ratings up on the show. It's the ninth season, you guys, and we need some help. So this is what we came up with--you two start dating. At least for four months, until the end of January. The Blinds and the Battles have already been filmed, so we're thinking you flirt it up more in the upcoming Knockouts and then just go all out during the live shows. You get photographed together, you go out to dinner, you tweet at each other, and you get your family involved. But you also act coy when asked about it directly, because you want _some_ mystery in play, as well. At the end of January, it's over, and you can go about your business separately."

Blake is staring at Matthew and Amanda, and refuses to look at Gwen. They're all waiting for him to say something. And then he does.

"What the hell are you talking about? Have you all lost your minds?! What possible benefit does this have for me? This is the plum craziest shit I've ever heard!"

"Blake, please..." Gwen says softly. 

"Don't you start with me, too! You knew about this?!"

Gwen nods, not exactly looking pleased with herself. Blake likes and respects Gwen and all, but he does not know her well enough to agree to this crap.

"Again, tell me why I would ever consider doing this," Blake demands.

They are prepared for him to say this. "Ratings. Buzz. Tweets. Oh, and money," Matthew says simply. "We're going to give you lots of money. Money you can spend on recording for your album, or for a new truck, or a new... trucker hat. It's that important to us that you give this a shot."

Blake shakes his head. "I don't need money that much, man. I'm doing pretty well here on my own. I already have to deal with the paps following me around and asking me questions, and the show's got me doing so much press... I barely have any time for myself. I don't need this, man. And I don't want it."

Blake glances at Gwen, who looks like he's crushing her dreams one by one. He doesn't want to be the bad guy here, but this is ludicrous.

"Yes, you are doing fine, and so is Gwen," Matthew says. "But you can do so much more. As far as your tours and albums go, yes, your songs keep going to number one without much problem. But you're also competing with younger and younger artists, just like Gwen is. If America thinks they're watching you fall in love, they're going to want to know more. They're going to want to buy more. And you'll be more popular than ever. Not to mention, the ratings will skyrocket, which is what we were hired to make happen. Everybody wins."

"I don't win! Frankly, I don't see the point--"

Gwen puts her hand on Blake's shoulder. He stops talking and looks at her curiously.

"Let's talk about it. Over dinner tonight at my house. I'll cook." She kind of side-glances at Matthew and Amanda, which Blake takes to mean that she doesn't want to continue discussing it around the two of them.

Blake considers dinner. On one hand, he's always liked Gwen; she's beautiful and funny and talented and she's a good friend--she's even helped him through a crisis or two when his divorce was ruining his life. But he knows what she likes to eat, and he doesn't want any of that weird green stuff for dinner.

As if reading his mind, Gwen says, "I'll even make you something with meat, if you want. I'll just... focus on something else while I cook it."

Blake chuckles. "All right. I guess I can catch a plane to Oklahoma tomorrow if you're promising to make my meat."

Matthew and Amanda nod, happy that their master plan is starting to come together. 

"We'll make it worth your while, Blake. If money isn't the answer, tell us what you want. This is for the show, your bank account, your career, your livelihood. It's _that_ important to us," Matthew says. Blake's starting to get the picture.

"I'll think about it," Blake mutters. He nods at Gwen and says, "I'll see you tonight. I like my steak medium rare." Gwen pretends to gag, and he laughs as he leaves.

****

Blake's never been to Gwen's house. He guesses her shithole of an ex-husband has the kids, because there's several thousand skateboards and hockey sticks and balls of various kinds scattered about, but no boys.

"Sorry about the mess. It's impossible to keep anything in order around here when there's three boys in the house," Gwen says while leading him to the kitchen.

Blake just nods. He gets it; although he doesn't have kids, he certainly was one once.

For a moment, he watches Gwen cook. He hardly ever sees her look so casual as she does at the moment, with just a t-shirt and jeans, hardly any make-up, her long blonde hair flowing freely past her toned shoulders. Of course she's a gorgeous woman, everybody knows that. Maybe he even had a small crush on her last year when he was going through some crap with Miranda before they finally called it quits. But he never thinks about asking her out or anything. They're too different. And besides, she'd never want to be with a man like him, a country hick from Oklahoma. Can you even imagine?!

"I have to admit, I don't really know anything about cooking steak, so I'm going to have to youtube some instructions," Gwen says, embarrassed. "I was going to before you got here but I had sudden inspiration when I made my salad and I had to go write down some lyrics before I forgot them."

Blake nods. "That's been happening to me somewhat more often lately. Usually I don't even write my songs, but there's something about utter devastation and heartbreak that inspires me."

Gwen laughs. "Yep. Nothing like some deep, old-fashioned depression to help the creative process."

The two of them glance at each other for about four seconds too long, recognizing that they may have more in common than they think. Maybe.

"Anyway, move over, girl. I'll make the steak. Do you have a grill?"

"Of course I do! I'm not an animal."

Blake looks around the kitchen, seeing if he has any hope of making this steak good. "Do you mind if I search your kitchen for some worthwhile seasoning implements?"

"Be my guest," Gwen replies, grinning. Blake roots around in her cabinets for salt and pepper and garlic and other assorted things, and rubs it on the steak. Gwen pours him a glass of wine and they go outside to the grill. Blake can tell she's never used this thing in her life, so he gives her a brief lesson on proper grilling etiquette while she stands back and giggles. 

An hour later, they're sitting at the kitchen table, her with a huge salad, and him with his steak and baked potato. Blake takes a manly gulp of wine and says, "Okay, so tell me more about this plan of yours. I still don't know why it's necessary."

Gwen sighs. "Here's the deal--I'm putting an album out next year. My label is worried that I'm not going to sell anything since I'm not performing with my band and that my divorce is 'leaving a bad taste in people's mouths.' That is a direct quote. And, I mean, come on... I'm almost 46 years old and there's not a huge market out there for women of my age. It's not like I'm Madonna or something."

"Wait a minute, your label actually said that about you?" Blake asks. "That's ridiculous. Nobody's ever said that to me."

Gwen laughs. "Well, no offense, Blake, but it's not the same for men. It's bullshit, but it's true. And I know this is a drastic measure and it may not even work, but I have to do  
_something._ I love being on the Voice, but my music is my passion, and if nobody wants it anymore, well... it's over. _I'm_ over."

Blake doesn't know what to say to that... so he keeps eating.

"And, the crappiest part of all of this, I have to pay spousal support to Gavin. Can you fucking believe that? _He's_ the one who cheats on me and I still have to pay him. Unbelievable."

Blake has a few choice words for how he feels about Gavin, but he doesn't share at the moment. Instead, he just shakes his head. He feels a certain sense of relief that Miranda is basically just as huge of a star as he is, so their divorce was basically painless when it came to all that horseshit.

"Anyway," Gwen continues, either not noticing or not caring that Blake is biting his tongue. "I have a lot of expenses, and I have to send three boys to college, so... if this 'situation' can help, I want to do it."

"How did y'all even come up with this?" Blake finally asks.

"My label has been thinking of ideas for the last month or so, and they know of two or three 'couples' that did this, and it did so much for their career. And they didn't tell me who, so don't ask."

"And you don't think it's a little ridiculous? Unnecessary? Well, you know, kind of dumb?" 

Gwen sighs. "Of course it's ridiculous and unnecessary! I mean, you're a nice guy and everything, but do I want to spend the next four months pretending that you're the best boyfriend ever? No, I do not. I don't want to get my family involved at all, either. But, damn it, Blake! I'm desperate. I'll do anything. This is the most I can do without quite literally selling my soul to the devil. And I have to say, if he showed up on my doorstep right now, I might not say no."

"I don't know, Gwen..."

"Look, it's for your benefit, too. I've built up a pretty good-sized fanbase over the years, and I think it's safe to say that there's probably not much crossover between my fans and yours. If they see how happy I am and how in love we are and what a good guy you are, they're going to want to listen to you stuff, too." 

Gwen is grasping at straws here, but Blake gets it. She needs this. And the way she's looking at him right now... well, he'd probably agree to anything she's asking him as long as she keeps looking at him like that. And, hell, he _could_ use the extra money. And he really needs his new album to do well in 2016. Maybe it's not such a bad idea. Except...

"All right, okay, you talked me into it," Blake says, and Gwen shrieks and gets up and hugs him. He laughs, and gets up and hugs her back.

"But..."

"Oh, crap. I should have known there was a 'but' coming," Gwen says, looking like she's on the verge of collapse.

"Okay. Well. I'm kind of seeing someone. Back in Oklahoma. It's new, but it's also kind of old. She was my first girlfriend ever, actually. And when I went back there after the divorce, we reconnected, and..."

"Oh... so that's why you're always in such a hurry to get back to Oklahoma. So... what's her name?" Gwen asks quietly.

"Um, Sara. It's a long distance thing. I'm just--I'm not sure I want to throw that away for a fake relationship, you know?" Blake thinks of Sara in Oklahoma. She works with horses, is sometimes unnervingly quiet and calm but serene and peaceful, and nobody follows her around with cameras every moment of the day. Sara was exactly who he needed during the divorce, and he wants to see if they can make it work. Although... this news is probably not going to sit well with her.

He can't read Gwen's expression now, but if he could, he thinks he sees... disappointment? But that wouldn't make sense. 

"I understand. Well, obviously we won't _really_ be dating, and the paparazzi don't follow you to Tishomingo, so you can assure her it won't be a problem." 

Blake nods. "All right then. Well, this is a dumb as fuck idea, but if it'll help you... I guess I'll go along with it."

Gwen hugs him again, and this time, he can feel the heat from her body, and it's interesting, but not something he plans to investigate further. There's Sara, and there's the show, and there's too many complications. And anyway, Gwen doesn't want that, either. Right?

"Thank you, Blake. I will make this so worth it for you. I'm going to be the best fake girlfriend you've ever had."

They finish dinner, and Blake leaves. He knows this is probably the dumbest thing he's ever agreed to, but maybe it'll be fun. Maybe it'll be exactly what he needs to move on. Or... maybe not.

****

**Blind Item - _Celebrity Gossip Gazette_ , September, 2015**  
There's a romance brewing between two singers-slash-reality stars--at least that's what their publicists want you to think! These two will be getting extra comfy and cozy soon, but it's all for show. We have no doubts that this one isn't going to last. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am so very sorry for the delay, but I have valid excuses! This is literally the second day of a new career and I'm also studying every moment of every day to get my Real Estate license. Exciting, I know! This is my life. Hopefully the next update won't take me as long. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your enthusiasm for this story and I love kudos and comments! Rock on!
> 
> P.S. I edited this chapter heavily because I messed up the UTLY timeline and I felt like an idiot.

_Late August, 2015_

Gwen is smiling so much, her cheeks actually hurt. Blake is laughing so much, his throat starts to burn. Some of it is genuine. Most of it is part of the "Gwen and Blake pretend to date" play they're putting on for everyone in the building during the taping of the Knockouts round.

During a five minute break, Adam takes off for Blake's chair. Blake is checking his phone, yet again, and looking bored.

"Hey, man," Blake says when he sees Adam approaching. "Having fun yet?"

Actually, Adam does not look like he's having fun. The opposite of fun, really.

"What... the _fuck_ is going on?" Adam says accusingly, staring a hole through Blake.

Blake pretends to not know what he means. "What is your problem this time? Do I just look too good tonight or what? I know how that pisses you off."

"I'm not particularly amused by your jokes right now, jackass," Adam says, and Blake knows he's genuinely mad. "What is going on with you and Gwen? This is the second night in a row you've been making googly faces at each other and flirting like you're in high school. So tell me what's happening right now, because as far as I know, Sara is back in Oklahoma thinking you're being faithful to her!"

Adam met Sara a month or so ago when she came to visit Blake in L.A. while they were filming the Blinds. He really took a liking to her, and he's warned Blake several times that if he "breaks that girl's heart," Adam will "kick his ass."

Blake briefly thinks about telling Adam some elaborate lie to get him off his back, but Adam deserves to know the truth.

"Back in one minute," the stage manager yells from across the stage, looking directly at Adam, who shrugs.

Blake wants to tell him when there's a little more time to get into it, but maybe having less than a minute is better.

"Fine. Come here." Adam comes closer. Blake pulls him closer (and the audience members who are paying attention to the coaches during the break applaud and scream approval for the continued bromance) and whispers, "We're pretending to date for the PR," Blake whispers to Adam.

Adam looks at him, looks back at Gwen, looks back at Blake. "What? You're shitting me."

"Nope. Gwen's desperate and they promised me a shitload of money."

"Oh, my god. You're kidding. That is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard." Adam chuckles, and then he laughs, and now he can't stop laughing. The stage manager is now starting to look furious.

"Adam... please."

"Okay, okay. Blake, this is not over. You are so stupid! HAHAHA!"

Adam walks backwards to his chair, staring at Blake the whole time and laughing uproariously. Gwen has apparently caught on to what the joke's about and she looks at Adam and waves her hands in the air, like she has no other explanation. Pharrell is watching all of this happen, looking somewhere between confused and surprised. Blake takes this in and can only just shake his head and laugh. It really is a ridiculous situation, and now they're not the only ones in on the secret.

****

When the long day is mercifully over, Gwen goes back to her trailer and sits in her make-up chair, looking at the mirror. She has spent the last two days flirting her goddamn ass off with Blake. And while she doesn't hate it--he is a natural born charmer, as it turns out--she finds it somewhat emotionally exhausting to pretend to be falling in love.

Someone knocks on her door and she tells them to come in. Pharrell comes in, looking beautiful and happy as usual.

"Hey, gorgeous lady. How do you feel?"

Gwen smiles at him because she can't help but always smile at Pharrell. He's so calm and centered, and always makes her feel like everything is going to be okay.

"Good! I'm glad we're done with this stuff for a while, though."

"Me, too. The live episodes are going to be crazy. Hey... I want to ask you something," Pharrell says, almost nervously.

"What's up?"

"I kind of noticed something the last few days... I see that you and Blake are a little bit closer than usual--or at least you're trying to be. And when we last talked, it didn't feel like to me that you were in a place where you wanted to start dating again, and especially not date a co-worker. So... is this what I think it is?"

Gwen looks at Pharrell's sweet angel face and slowly nods. He groans and puts his hands on his face.

"We talked about this, Gwen! You said you weren't going to do it."

"I know. I know I did. But I'm desperate, P. I'm so desperate." She hates that she's disappointed Pharrell. He's always believed in her and lifted her up more than she ever could herself.

"But you don't need to pretend to date someone just to keep up with your art. I keep telling you, if you're doing something you believe in, and you're spiritually connected to it... that's what's really important."

Gwen knows this. She _knows_ it. But she's not just thinking of herself anymore.

"You don't get it," Gwen says. "It's so hard out here. My label doesn't want me to put my more 'indie' songs on the album, my last few singles without the band haven't been big on the radio, my divorce tore me in half and I just... I feel it all sliding out of my control. I didn't know what else to do. I don't. I'm sorry."

Pharrell sighs and comes over to hug her. She grabs him and holds him for dear life.

"I'm sorry you felt like it had to come to this," Pharrell says. "But maybe it really will help you. Blake's a good man. At the very least, you two will have a lot of fun together."

Gwen nods. "That's how I feel, too."

"Well... good. I guess I'll have to get used to being the middle of a Gwen-Blake sandwich for the rest of the season. I'll act accordingly the best I can."

"You are the best person, like, ever," Gwen says, so very thankful that she can call Pharrell a friend.

"Takes one to know one," Pharrell says. "Hey, you know, maybe something will happen between you two. He's always been able to make you laugh, and he's pretty hot for a hillbilly cowboy."

Gwen has already considered this. Blake isn't really her type, but there's no denying that he's a hottie. Although he's lost some weight recently (she's guessing because of the stress of divorce--she's lost seven pounds over the last few months herself, which is a lot on her tiny frame), he still looks like a big ol' teddy bear. She has caught herself a time or two wondering what it would feel like to cuddle with such a big man. Not that she and Gavin spent a lot of time snuggling in the last few years, but when they did, he was too thin and angular to really make her feel safe and warm. She has a feeling that wouldn't be a problem with Blake.

But... they're too different. He drinks a little too much, which wouldn't be acceptable around the boys. He has a disgusting diet full of meat and carbs, they're from completely different places in the world, plus it would obviously be a rebound situation since they're both fresh off divorces. It just wouldn't make any sense. So although she may have a tiny crush on him, and sometimes she gets lost in his eyes when he makes her laugh and takes her mind off her utter heartache for a few minutes... she doesn't want to go there.

Gwen laughs. "Yeah, he's hot. But it would be too weird. Friends is good enough for now."

Pharrell nods. "You're right about that, it would be _so_ weird. But I think I'm still rooting for you two, anyway."

Gwen smiles and shakes her head. Pharrell gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and then he's gone, and Gwen's left alone with her thoughts, which is not particularly a good thing these days.

****

Gwen shouldn't be surprised by how she's feeling more creative and inspired than ever, considering the fact that No Doubt's biggest hit song was written out of her first heartbreak. But she's still so proud of the song she and her team have just written. Never has a song gotten her point across so well. Really, she doesn't even care if it's a hit. She's just glad it exists.

In the beginning of September, Gwen invites a few friends over to her house, including Blake, Adam, and Pharrell. It's mostly a "I'm single and I need to hang out with people or I'll spend every moment of the day crying" kind of party. Gwen needs her people.

Adam comes up to her while she's putting cans of beer into a cooler. 

"Gee, I wonder who those are for," Adam says. Gwen laughs.

"Blake is not the only one who drinks this," she says.

"Yeah, he is, actually. But it's nice of you to make sure he stays hydrated. Hey, Pharrell was telling me you've written a new song and it's really bad ass. I want to hear it."

Blake approaches them and grabs a beer out of the cooler. Adam scoffs.

"What? I'm a fragile man, Levine. I'm going through a terrible divorce. I need this."

"Whatever. Gwen? What do you say?" Adam asks.

"What does she say about what?"

"Pharrell says she has a new song and I want to hear it!" Adam repeats.

Blake looks at Gwen and she shrugs. She's fiercely proud of this new song, but she's not sure if it's ready for her friends to hear.

"Come on, woman. Don't be no Hollaback Girl on us. Give us the song."

Adam and Gwen stare at Blake, who obviously has no idea what a hollaback girl is. 

"Okay, okay. Let me get my speakers."

Adam grins and says, "Yes! Hurry!" And Gwen is touched that he cares so much about her song. 

Gwen gets the speakers and hooks up her phone to them. Everyone gathers around to listen.

_Never thought this would happen  
Gonna let it sink in, you're gone  
I don't know, know what I'm feeling  
I must be dreaming, you're gone_

_Suitcase, band-aids  
Pulling back out the driveway  
You go, I'll stay  
You can keep all the memories  
I thought I was the best thing that ever happened to you  
I thought you loved me the most_

_I don't know why I cry  
But I think it's cause I remembered for the first time  
Since I hated you  
That I used to love you  
I don't know why I cry  
But I think it's cause I remembered for the first time  
Since I hated you  
That I used to love you_

_Oh oh oh oh  
I used to love you  
Oh oh oh oh  
I used to love you_

When the song is over, Gwen can't look at anyone. She finally does when everyone starts clapping and cheering like the idiot friends she knows and loves. There are literally a few people wiping tears off their cheeks. This. This is why she writes songs. This is why she's a musician.

"Thanks, guys," she manages to say. Adam hugs her. Pharrell hugs her. But Blake hangs back. She notices his silence, but doesn't know what to think about it. Instead, she accepts the compliments of her friends, who assure her that this is going straight to the top 10 on iTunes. She's not so sure about that, since there are rumors about a new Adele album coming out soon.   
But anything can happen; she's learned that the hard way.

The party winds down and most of the guests leave. Blake sticks around to help her clean up, which she assures him he doesn't have to do. But she thinks he might have a reason for staying, so she doesn't protest too much.

After Gwen puts the wine back in the refrigerator, Blake grabs her hand before she closes it. Startled, she looks up at him and says, "What... ?"

Blake clears his throat and says, "Your song was amazing. I'm not even lyin'. It was beautiful."

Gwen is stunned by his words for some reason.

"You think?"

"Absolutely. You really put something into words here that I've been feelin' for months now. I know this is going to be huge. Women--and hell, a lot of men, I'm sure--will bow at your feet for writing this song."

"Wow, that's... that's so nice of you to say. Thank you!"

"I just wanted to tell you that. And it's nice to have someone to be miserable with, you know? It's like... you get it. And I get you."

Gwen nods. "Yeah. Misery loves company."

He nods, too. He looks like he's on the verge of saying something else, but instead, Blake grabs Gwen and hugs her tightly. And he lets go just as quickly.

"Thank you," he says. "I'll see you later."

Blake makes a hasty escape and Gwen watches him go. She wonders if she's been underestimating him lately. Of course he's heartbroken. Of course he knows how she feels. And of course she's wondering what else he's got under the surface there in that big ol' heart of his. She sort of wants to find out.

****

Gwen spends the rest of September in a haze of reflecting, writing, and singing. Songwriting has never come to her so easily and Gwen can't wait for her fans to hear her new stuff, because although her friends liked it, she has no idea if it'll even get radio play at all. In between all the creative energy, she's also trying to avoid Gavin at all costs, which is literally impossible when they're always handing the kids off to each other. They manage to stay civil, but Gwen has taken to having detailed fantasies about the many ways he could disappear off the planet. Thankfully, she has some tour dates with No Doubt to take her mind off of all the drama. The boys in the band always know how to make her laugh, which she obviously needs more than anything.

She texts Blake every now and then but thankfully they don't have any public appearances together yet, so their one act play is put on pause. There's a strategy being talked about between Amanda and Matthew for when they have promo for the Voice. Blake, of course, hates it and doesn't want anything to do with it, but Gwen is slowly getting him on board. Not that she's proud of it, really, but Gwen is starting to notice that she has the ability to talk Blake into seeing things her way. It's nice, actually. Gavin was so stubborn that she long ago learned to stop trying. See, she really can't do this anymore--she has to stop comparing everything to Gavin. He's gone. He and the nanny are gone.

Gwen is also trying her hardest to make the kids feel like everything is normal. And it's not so hard, all things considered. Gavin hasn't been home much in the last couple of years, so not being home at all isn't that far of a stretch. She didn't want to tell them what's been happening because, well, they're just too young, but Kingston somehow figured it out--she's inclined to blame the goddamn paparazzi for this.

In mid-September, Gwen is sitting outside on the porch, pretending to read a book but really glancing at the sunset and wishing her pain would melt into the blue and orange sky. The constant full and throbbing portion of the pain actually has subsided substantially, but it still exists like a blanket covering her body, like a veil that hides her face. She loved Gavin Rossdale once, with an intensity unlike she'd ever felt before and hopefully never will again.

Kingston comes outside and sits beside her. She puts her arm around him and smiles at her oldest boy.

"Mom... did Dad cheat on you?" That's the thing about Kingston--he's curious, and he asks a lot of questions. And he doesn't sugarcoat anything.

"What?! Where did you hear that?" Gwen is literally going to kill the son of a bitch paps who manage to ooze their way into every crevice of her life.

"Different places and people... it doesn't matter, does it? He did cheat on you, didn't he?" Kingston asks, looking so anxious and sad that Gwen wants to hunt Gavin down and give him a thousand paper cuts.

She struggles to figure out what to say. "King, your daddy did some things he's not proud of, and it hurt me a lot. That doesn't mean that he isn't still a good guy, and the best father. We're just not getting along right now."

"But maybe you will again someday?"

"Maybe." Gwen can't imagine ever having a nice thing to say to Gavin ever again, but maybe she will eventually. Possibly on her deathbed.

"Hey, did you tell Zoom about this?" Gwen asks, scared of the answer.

Kingston shakes his head. "No... he'd cry about it for weeks." Gwen thinks this is probably true--Zuma is her sensitive little man.

"Good. Thank you. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It'll get easier someday, I promise."

"I hope so," Kingston says, and Gwen sighs. She hopes she's not lying to Kingston, because she really doesn't know if it _will_ get easier someday. She hopes so, too.

Later, after she puts the kids to bed, something compels Gwen to text Blake.

_Hey, cowboy. Does it ever get any easier?_

A few minutes later, she got a text back. _Nah. U just get used to numbness eventually. Hang in there darlin', see u soon._

In spite of herself, she smiles. She didn't even have to explain what she meant. He gets it, and maybe... he gets her, too.

****

Blake's spent basically the last month or so in Oklahoma, hanging out with Sara and hunting and catching up with his family and friends. His mom says that Betty, his dog, is always happier when he's around. Blake misses Betty when he's gone. She's always happy to see him, cuddles him to sleep at night, and gives the best kisses. Unlike Miranda for at least the last couple of years.

Sara was not pleased to hear about this new arrangement he has going on with Gwen.

"Are you serious? You're doing this for the _money?!_ You have plenty of money, Blake," she'd said when he told her.

"It's for the album, hon. And after January when this is over, and after the tour in February and March, we can take that trip to Paris you've always been dreaming about. We can stay in the nicest places, eat the best food..." Blake has no desire to go to Paris, but it's Sara's fantasy, and he'll do anything if it means she won't give him too much crap about this thing with Gwen.

Sara still looked annoyed, but also intrigued. They haven't had time to go on any big trips yet, and she has never gotten out of Oklahoma much. So she says, "Okay... I guess it won't be so bad. Just please promise not to fall in love with her, Blake. I need you to do that for me."

"Of course I'm not going to fall in love with her. How can I if I'm already in love with you?"

Sara smiles sadly and says, "That's nice. But I had to wait around for years to outlast Miranda and I can't wait any longer for Gwen. I won't wait, Blake. I won't."

"I know, babe. You won't have to. I promise."

Sara had kissed him then, and he was happy that he could make her feel good about the situation. There was always that tiny part of him, however, that couldn't possibly know if he could ever keep that promise. Sara helped him through the worst part of the divorce, and he was always going to be grateful to her for that, because lord knows what would have happened if he didn't have her during that time. It would not have been pretty, he knows that for damn sure.

Now it's time for his least favorite thing about doing the Voice--promo. In New York. Blake likes to consider himself at least a bit of a sophisticated hillbilly, but he does not care for New York at all. And now he has the added bonus of trying to act like he's in love with Gwen while not actually confirming that they're dating even though they aren't dating at all. He literally has no idea how to accomplish this, but Gwen seems to know what she's doing, so he'll follow her lead. He supposes there are worse fates than pretending to date one of the most gorgeous women in the universe... not that he'd ever tell Sara that.

When making the travel arrangements, Blake's assistant lets him know there was a flight from L.A. to New York with an eight hour layover in Oklahoma City. Although that's a strange layover to have on that flight, Blake thinks it might be nice for Adam and Gwen to see his place in Tishomingo, which is 2 hours from the airport. He runs the idea by them and they all agree it might be a good idea, not only because they've never seen his house, but because it'll be handy for rumors about he and Gwen's "relationship" later down the road. So, that's what they do, and Gwen makes sure to post the picture on twitter, and Blake retweets it.

Meanwhile, it's a good opportunity for Sara and Gwen to meet, which Blake hopes will ease Sara's mind about the whole ordeal. Gwen, of course, charms Sara from the first second they say hello, because who doesn't like Gwen Stefani?

"Thanks for letting me borrow your boyfriend for a few months," Gwen told Sara over lunch. "I'll be sure to return him in mint condition."

Sara laughs, and even Blake's not sure if it's awkward or cute.

"Just as long as we get to go to Paris next year, you can do whatever you want with him," Sara jokes. Gwen laughs and tells her all about Paris and her experiences there. Adam and Blake watch them curiously, not knowing what the hell is going on, exactly.

"What did you get yourself into, man?" Adam whispers to him at one point.

"I don't know... and I don't know if I want out, either," Blake whispers back. Adam snorts.

On the plane to New York, Gwen sits next to Blake. "Your home is beautiful," she tells him. "And your girlfriend is awesome. I really hope this thing with us doesn't make her too mad."

"Me, too," Blake says. "And thank you. I worked really hard to make it a nice place to come home to. Although there is more of Miranda's tastes than I would prefer, but it was going to be her place, too..."

Gwen smiles sadly. "That's the thing about divorce, right? If I would have known it was going to end, I wouldn't have let him paint the bedroom red."

Blake stares at Gwen. "Red? Seriously?"

Gwen nods. "Yep. I haven't gotten around to repainting it yet, so my wonderful red bedroom is always there to greet me when I come home, to remind me what a failure my marriage was."

"You know, I obviously don't know the whole story, but I think I can safely say it was your fuckbag of an ex-husband that was the failure. I mean, any man who can be married to you and fuck it up has got to be a freakin' idiot."

Gwen blushes, and Blake finds himself enjoying the fact that he made her blush.

"Well... thank you. He really is a fuckbag, I think."

"A total rectum face," Blake adds.

"A fuckshithead," Gwen says, enjoying this trip back to junior high school. 

"We could do this all day," Blake says, and Gwen nods. "But I just want to say that you deserve better, and don't give up on that."

"Right back at you," Gwen says. The two of them share a smile, and refuse to address the irony of their conversation.

****

New York is a whirlwind, as usual. On Sunday, Adam, Behati, Gwen and Blake attend Behati's friend's party. It's full of models and other assorted "famous" people Blake has never heard of. He spends most of the night telling Gwen ridiculous jokes to make her laugh, because this is not his scene and never will be. Gwen makes the rounds, but somehow always manages to make her way back to him. She's probably doing it to stir up some rumors. Probably.

What he can't make heads or tails out of is what happens on Fallon. Pharrell joins them in New York and they all head to the show. Blake always has fun on Fallon, and he and Gwen really enjoyed lip synching Endless Love last year. This time around, Blake has been advised to be on his best flirting behavior, and Gwen is totally game. That must be why she wears that black S&M-looking dress... it must be. Whatever, it's totally not the hottest dress he's ever seen and he's definitely thinking about Sara and not wondering what it would be like to peel that dress off Gwen, slowly and carefully.

They play Spin the Microphone on Fallon, and somehow he ends up singing (if you can even call it singing) Hotline Bling with Gwen. She's all up in his face and he's enjoying it and what is happening, really?

They don't talk about it later in the limo going back to the hotel. Blake goes back to his room and tries to concentrate on anything other than what his subconscious keeps trying to yell at him. Eventually, he sighs, puts his shoes back on, and marches over to Adam's hotel room. He knocks on the door, and Adam answers, looking tired and annoyed.

"What the hell, man? It's 1:00 A.M.! You know I like to get my beauty sleep."

"Yeah, and you sure do need it. Look, man, can I come in? I need to talk."

Now Adam looks concerned. Blake never admits to needing his help.

"Of course, man. Come on."

Blake comes in and sits down on the bed. He sighs. But what comes out of his mouth instead of his real problem is, "It sure is cold here already in New York, huh? It must be 90 degrees in L.A. tonight."

Adam scoffs. "You and I both know you don't give a fuck about the weather, Blake. You came in here to tell me that you're in love with Gwen freakin' Stefani."

Blake quickly raises his head up. "No. No, I am definitely not in love with her. I'm in love with Sara. Sara is everything."

Adam nods. "Well, okay, then. You're _attracted_ to Gwen. She looked hot in that black dress tonight, huh?"

"Uh-huh," Blake stammers.

"But you don't want to date her or anything, right?"

"No. No, of course not!" Blake thinks about what dating Gwen would entail. There would be lots of good things, but... he's not sure he's ready to take on parenting three young boys. He doesn't like salad. The paparazzi would never leave them alone. She probably takes 2 hours to get ready to go out. No, it would never work.

"Right. So what's the problem? You're attracted to a beautiful woman, dipshit. It's not rocket science. Just keep it in your pants, man. No big deal."

"Okay. Okay, I'm just attracted to her. No problem. I can handle that," Blake says.

"Good. Now get the hell out of here so I can go back to sleep. We have the Today show in like 4 hours."

"Thanks, man," Blake says. He gives Adam a quick hug and escapes back to his room. He's just attracted to Gwen. No big deal.

****

_Maybe_ Gwen wears that short dress that leaves practically nothing to the imagination on purpose. Maybe she knows that at this UCLA Visionary Ball event that she and Blake are attending will be attended by many photographers, and maybe she wants Gavin to eat his heart out when he sees the pictures. Maybe... just maybe... she wants to tempt Blake just a little, because it's so much fun. She saw the way he was looking at her in that dress she wore on Fallon, and she liked it.

Of course, that makes her feel like a terrible person, because Blake has a girlfriend--a girlfriend she actually likes and respects, the opposite of how she's always felt about Miranda. Sara is great. And while Gwen doesn't entirely understand their relationship, she appreciates that it exists.

But still... the moment Blake sees Gwen in that dress at the ball, he tries to play it cool but it doesn't exactly go as planned.

"Holy shit!" Blake says when she comes to greet him. "Are you serious with that dress?"

Gwen laughs. "I know, it's a little ridiculous. But I was just feeling this outfit tonight. What do you think?" She _knows_ what he thinks.

"I think every guy in here wants to be the one that goes home with you," he says, grinning slightly.

Gwen nudges his arm. "Thanks, Cowboy. You don't look so bad yourself." He looks good, actually. So good that a girl could easily forget that this flirting thing was supposed to be all for show.

"Well, anyway, I guess we should mingle," Blake says, and Gwen nods. They spend the rest of the evening making their way around the room. But Gwen notices--and it's not hard--that Blake never really takes his eyes off of her. It's a nice feeling. A forbidden one... but still nice.

Maybe... _maybe_ it wouldn't be a stretch to say that their attraction to each other was mutual, and possibly slightly out of control. But that was nothing-- _nothing_ \--compared to what happens on Halloween.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm here with a supersized chapter to make up for the fact that it's taking me so long to write this thing. I also replaced and reposted a huge chunk of the last chapter because I made a boo-boo with the timeline of UTLY. So maybe go check that out before you read this one. Or not, I'm not your mama.
> 
> A huge shout out to Lydia/Formerdetective on Tumblr for her vast knowledge and detective skills and patience.
> 
> And thank you for reading, even if you hate this premise. It'll pay off in the end, I assure you. We all want the same thing! Also I love kudos and comments. And Fritos!

They'd both look back at one of the craziest weeks of their lives and think of what really mattered during that time--the three kisses, and how those kisses changed everything. Not all at once, of course, as that would be too easy for the two of them. No, they took the long way around, because that's just the way they are.

_The first kiss_

Blake is ready to go to a few Halloween parties and let off some steam. He's always enjoyed Halloween, and this year, he is free from Miranda's scrutiny of his love for the holiday. Not surprisingly, she never understood why he liked it so much. After a while, he stopped trying to explain.

However, a very detailed plan is being put together; a plan that almost guarantees he's not going to have fun at any of these parties. Well, that's not true--he's starting to gather that he'd have a good time when he happened to be anywhere with Gwen. _I'm just attracted to her,_ he was constantly assuring himself. Love and lust are two different things.

"So there's three parties we're going to hit," Gwen tells him the day before. "There's a Casamigos Tequila party that's kind of legendary, plus it's being hosted by Cindy Crawford and, like, I _have_ to meet her. Jared Leto is having a 90s party, and I have to meet him, too, because, well, Jordan Catalano. Duh. Halloween night is Adam's party, which should be fun for both of us."

Blake doesn't know who this Jordan person is, and he doesn't particularly care. "And what do we have to do at these parties? Have sex in the closet or something?"

Gwen sighs. "Please, Blake. I know it's ridiculous, but bear with me here. We just have to, you know, be seen. And flirt. And I came up with an idea for a costume... I'm going to be a cowgirl. Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever heard?"

"Oh, yes, so crazy!" Blake says, not even trying to hide the sarcasm.

Gwen rolls her eyes. "Now here's the part I know you're going to hate, but... at Adam's party, you two are going to dress like rock stars, with denim jackets and wigs and everything. I'll wear my ballerina costume. Behati's going to instagram a pic of the three of us together. Later, someone's going to get a really bad pic of us watching the band... with lots of PDA. Like, we're talking major touching here." She's blushing. Blake likes to make her blush.

"So we _do_ get to have sex in a closet."

"Sure, Blake. We're obviously going to have sex in a closet. That's definitely what I planned for us to do. You are so smart and handsome." Gwen pretends like she finds flirting with him to be a terrible chore, but he has a sneaking feeling that secretly, she kind of digs it. 

"Great. Just let me know when and where."

"Uh-huh, I'll do that. Anyway, I'll make this weekend fun for both of us, okay? Just hang in there. Maybe it won't be so bad."

Blake sighs. "Of course it won't. I'm sorry. I'm tryin' to get on board with all this stuff, but... "

"Hey, I get it," Gwen says, and puts her hand on his arm. "It just _feels_ wrong. I know." She doesn't offer any other words of encouragement, which Blake appreciates. He's been thinking about this situation, and as hard as it is for him to participate in this ridiculousness with Sara back home in Oklahoma, it's got to be twice as hard for Gwen to lie when she has three little boys to think of, too. They're both sacrificing something for this to work the way they've planned. 

Although the point of going to these parties together is to start the rumor mill, it's kind of important that they still act like they're trying to hide the fact that they're dating. So they arrive at the Casamigos party separately; Gwen comes with Todd and Jen, her brother and sister in law, and Blake arrives solo. 

It turns out to be an enjoyable evening, actually. They all drink a shitload of tequila and Blake finds himself frequently staring in awe at Cindy Crawford. Not to mention, Gwen is looking hot as a killer cowgirl, which everyone knows is going to cause Twitter to go nuts. It's pretty genius, actually--Blake has to give her credit for coming up with that idea. They also flirt, get their pictures taken, and drunkenly laugh all evening. Although he and Gwen bonded last year when she was on the show, he feels confident that he can now call her a friend. A _good_ friend.   
And... that's all. Really.

After the party, for some reason Blake leaves with Todd and Jen. Someone explains to him why they're doing this and how it's important for the gossip factor, but he doesn't really care. Whatever--as long as someone else is in charge, he'll go along with this ridiculousness. 

They hit the 90s party at Jared Leto's place. Blake mostly watches Gwen have fun with her friends, appreciating the way that, much like him, she gets along with everyone. She spends a great deal of time talking to Jared (probably about that Jordan guy she mentioned before) and even though it makes zero sense, Blake feels himself get a little jealous. Well, that's just ridiculous. He goes outside to get some air and text Sara to say how much he loves her. It's kind of a shitty thing to do--text your girlfriend when you can't stop thinking about the leggy cowgirl at the party--but he doesn't know what else to do with himself.

To keep the rumors flowing, Blake leaves the party, again with Todd and Jen. Gwen leaves with her friends Derek and Kelly. They all go back to Gwen's house, where Blake lingers until everyone has left--yet again. He hangs out in the kitchen, drinking a beer, while Gwen un-Halloweens herself. It must be around 3:00 in the morning when she comes out of her bedroom, wearing shorts and black tank top, completely sans make-up. And Blake is so attracted to her, he can barely stand it.

"I can't believe you're still here," Gwen says, smiling. "You're such a trouper."

"Well... I'm a little drunk, actually. I was about to call an Uber but I wanted to say good-night first."

"That's sweet," she says. There's something in her tone that suggests she wants to ask him to stay; that she has many bedrooms for him to choose from, and if she were to extend the invitation, he would accept it. But she doesn't say it, and Blake is grateful. He needs to leave. And soon.

They chat while Blake waits for his Uber. Right before he leaves, he whispers in her ear, "You're a hot cowgirl," and the sound of her laughter as he closes the door gives him more satisfaction than he deserves.

****

There's something different about Adam's party. After all the years of being on the show together and becoming close, not to mention the time Blake stayed with Adam for a month or two after the divorce, Blake knows most of Adam's friends. Gwen knows a lot of Behati's friends, too, so they make the rounds both together and separately. Behati makes it a priority to take the all important picture of Adam, Gwen, and Blake and posts it to Instagram, which is part one of the master plan. 

"You guys are still doing this?" Adam asks after Behati takes the picture. "Aren't you over it yet?"

"Of course," Gwen says, while Blake says "Absolutely!" They look at each other and laugh. Adam stares at them.

"You guys are fucking weird," Adam says, and shakes his head. 

"We are fucking weird, aren't we?" Gwen says. Blake nods.

"Well... anyway, the band is about to play, so find somewhere to stand where you can see me," Adam says. "It's gonna be a good show."

"They need to stand somewhere the camera can get a picture of them, hon," Behati reminds him. Behati, for some reason, loves that Gwen and Blake are doing the fake dating thing, and is constantly coming up with ideas for them. Gwen enjoys her enthusiasm.

"Oh, of course. I wouldn't want to interfere with the very important pictures," Adam says. He looks at Blake like a disappointed brother, and Blake shrugs. Adam shakes his head again and he and Behati take off for bigger and better things.

Gwen takes a sip of her drink (which is some alcohol concoction Behati talked her into getting) and tries not to look what she's feeling--which is confusion. About a lot of things. Somehow, Blake gets it, and puts his hand on her bare shoulder. She can't help but get a little shiver when he touches her.

"It's okay, Gwen. I know why we're doing this, and it's okay if no one else gets it." 

"I know. I know! The song's been doing so well lately, especially after I was on Ellen..."

Blake puts both hands on her shoulders and looks her in the eye. "Those things aren't because of me, darlin'. It's because your song is amazing and people love it. You were on Ellen because you deserve to be there, because you earned it. None of this is because of our thing here. Just remember that."

God, how does he always know the right thing to say? He's also hit on one of her fears--that she's trying too hard to get recognition for her personal life instead of her talent. Of course, that was the plan all along because of her desperation, but something is changing and she can't figure out what, exactly.

The two of them find a place to stand for the show. Blake stands behind Gwen and puts his hands on her shoulders. He gives her his jacket because it's cold in the room and she's barely wearing anything. Although she's already accepted that she's attracted to Blake, being so close to him is another thing entirely. She hasn't felt so safe in the arms of a man in a long time, and it's giving her feelings that have been dormant for what seems like forever.

Gwen glances at her phone and sees Behati has texted her, "We're getting great pics! Keep it up!" So she turns around a few times and smiles at Blake, who smiles back. 

"Hey, um... maybe we should make this more interesting," she says, not able to stop herself.

"Yeah, how's that?"

"Maybe we should, you know, kiss a little. Give 'em something to talk about, you know?" Ugh, is she really saying that right now? She barely even recognizes herself these days.

Blake is quiet for a moment. Gwen wants to take it back--she wants to leave this planet, actually. But eventually Blake says, "Good idea," and she knows he's on the same page as her. That this is all a very bad idea, but somehow they're going to do it anyway.

"Well, okay... good. Are you ready?" Gwen asks nervously.

"As I'll ever be," Blake says. So she gets on her tippy toes and he leans down, and, well, they're kissing. And it's wrong--it's so wrong--but it's also kind of inevitable. Everything has been leading to this moment. 

Gwen is... something. Mostly she's surprised, because Blake is such a gentle kisser. She's so used to Gavin just kind of literally attacking her mouth because he was always in such a hurry, but Blake takes his time. She gets the feeling that he can literally do this all night, and maybe that won't be such a bad thing. Because it's a really good kiss. So good that Gwen is almost mad that she's never had a kiss like this in her entire 46 years on this planet. Where has he been all her life?

Eventually they pull away from each other. Neither of them know what to say.

"That was..."

"Yes. Yes, it was," Blake says, nodding.

Of course, this is when the band starts to play "She Will Be Loved" because it's just that kind of night. The two of them resume their position, and watch the band play silently.

When the show is over and it's time to leave, Gwen hugs Blake tightly.

"Thank you," she says. He doesn't ask for what.

"I guess I'll see you in Nashville," Blake says. "You ready for that?"

"As I'll ever be," she says, echoing his words from before the kiss. He grins for a moment, and then they go their separate ways.

Driving home, Gwen knows something happened tonight to change her. It was the kiss, of course, but what about the kiss? She's kissed other men besides Gavin and Tony before, and they were fine. Adequate. Not life-changing. But Blake... this is not good. He has Sara, Gwen has three kids, they're both living a lie and this is probably not going to end well.

When Gwen gets home, she gets a text. 

_I know it's bad, but it's just so good._ Gwen grins. At least if she's going down, she's taking him with her.

The next day, she gets about a thousand texts saying some version of "WTF? Is this real?!" and the pics of her and Blake at the party. It's all over the gossip websites, twitter, tumblr (not that she even knows what this), facebook, every entertainment blog. It's everywhere. This is what she wanted from the beginning, but, wow... it just feels so _dirty._

She calls Behati because she needs to scream about it with someone.

"Ohmygod! I can't believe it's working," Behati says when she answers the phone.

"I know! The pics are everywhere," Gwen says.

"Gavin's gonna die," Behati says, and Gwen laughs. She's already considered this, and she hopes he does. Figuratively, of course.

"Hey, I noticed that the kissing pics aren't posted anywhere... are you guys just waiting to post those or what?"

Behati kind of gasps. "WHAT? You guys KISSED? I checked all the pictures and I didn't see anything like that. I can't believe you kissed him!"

Gwen's stomach hurts. She kissed him for no apparent reason? What a waste.

"Oh, it was just a little peck. No big deal. Thanks for all your help, Bee," she says, and hangs up. Part of her is glad to have that moment to herself and Blake instead of the whole world. But most of her feels guilty for making it happen in the first place.

****

_The second kiss_

Now that the rumor mill is going full swing, it's time for the hammer to come down. Gwen and Blake's reps are going to announce the relationship the day of the CMAs. It was actually Blake who came up with the idea. 

"Why the fourth?" Matthew asks him. "Why the CMAs, really? Wouldn't it just be easier to have Gwen's picture taken there and we'll confirm after the internet runs with it?"

They're all in the office at the Voice studios again, discussing the strategy for the Nashville situation.

"Because Miranda's going to be there," Gwen chimes in. "It's perfect. I can't believe I didn't think of it."

Amanda and Matthew look at Blake in surprise. "Is that really the reason?" Amanda asks Blake.

"Yes," Blake says. He chooses not to explain further. 

The truth is, ever since the kiss a few days ago, Blake has thought of nothing but Gwen. The last time he felt like this was a long time ago, when Miranda was so young and full of life and ambition and she loved him, he knows she did, and it still hurts to think about how hopeful they were back then, and how determined they were that they'd grow old together. Now he has a second chance, and he's going to take it--

Oh, wait. He does have a second chance, but it's not with Gwen. It's with his girlfriend in Oklahoma. Part of him is desperate to break up with Sara, but he truly does care for her. And this thing with Gwen has an expiration date. He's just going to have to change his way of thinking about this situation, and he definitely needs to confess this whole thing to Sara. It's the only way to keep their relationship honest. 

It's just... when he kissed Gwen, he could tell she was expecting something different. Rougher, maybe. And after a few seconds, she gave into what she was feeling, just as he already had, and it was a very compatible kiss. He's in trouble now. Big trouble.

And he has to admit, it'll be fun to piss Miranda off on one of her biggest nights of the year. He never really gave a shit about award shows, but Miranda loves them. And after what she did to him; after what went down in the last months of their relationship, Blake does not feel bad about this.

"Okay, well, that's a great idea. You probably shouldn't walk the carpet together, but we'll make sure to get some pictures behind the scenes."

Gwen and Blake nod, as if this is a wonderful plan.

"And we're still trying to figure out what to do when the live shows start next week. We've spoken to Carson and it's basically up to you. If you want to sit together, we'll put Pharrell next to Adam. If you want to do a duet together, go for it."

"I don't think any of those things will work for us," Blake says, looking at Gwen. She nods.

"No, we don't want to use the show as a way to get attention. The show is about the kids," Gwen says. "But we've already discussed how we'll go to each other's chairs in between commercials and stuff."

"Good, good," Matthew says. "Well, I have to say, this is going better than expected. Blake, your sales are better than ever, and Gwen, the radio is already starting to play your song. The show's ratings are going up and I'm sure they'll be even better next week. So let's keep going according to the plan. Just two more months, you guys. Hang in there."

Blake thinks back to when they were in this room in August and how much he hated this plan. But now he's finding himself enjoying it. Not that he wonders why. The reason is sitting right next to him, smelling like roses and vanilla, her hair loose and blonde, her legs long and tan. 

He is so fucked.

****

There is no way they could have prepared themselves for the craziness that is the day of the Country Music Awards. After their publicists announce their relationship in a press release, Gwen and Blake both immediately got a hundred texts. Every talk show in the country is talking about them. The entertainment blogs are on fire.

Before Gwen gets on the plane to join Blake in Nashville, she sends him a text. _See you soon. It's weird how many people care about this, huh?_

She gets a text back immediately. _Seriously... we're not that interesting._ A few seconds later, _Well, you are. I'm just a dumb hick from OK._

Gwen texts back, _You're so much more than that,_ and immediately feels like an idiot. An excrutiating few minutes later: _You sure know how to flatter a cowboy._ Gwen grins. And continues to smile to herself on the flight to Tennessee.

Gwen is nervous about this awards show even though she's not doing the red carpet with Blake. These are all his people, but they're all Miranda's people, too. They might feel a bit protective over her or something. She and Blake arrive separately and Gwen watches backstage. Brad and Carrie make Blake the butt of a lot of jokes, but she can tell they really respect him. 

Gwen has never met Miranda Lambert, and she prefers to keep it that way. From the tales Blake has told Gwen about his ex-wife, she has nothing good to say to her or about her. Gwen knows there's two sides to every story from experience, but it would be hard for Miranda to redeem herself in Gwen's eyes. Not that Miranda cares about what Gwen thinks of her, probably.

Blake finds her backstage when the show is over, and they go to the after party. When they walk in, maybe it's just Gwen's imagination, but she's pretty sure everyone in the room is staring at them. 

"Maybe this was a bad idea," Gwen whispers to Blake as he surveys the room.

"You're probably right, but we're here now," Blake says. "Let's make the most of it."

"They're not going to like me," Gwen says, feeling like she's in high school again.

"Fuck 'em," Blake says. "Most of them don't even like me. Come on." He reaches for her hand, and she lets him hold it as they walk through the room, saying hi and introducing her to all his colleagues and friends. All of them are nice to Gwen and some even admit how much they love her music. Gwen and Blake go outside for a while to get some and air, and make sure they get their picture taken by a few of the paps who are waiting outside. 

Back inside, they spot Brad coming towards them, and when he reaches Blake, he puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Miranda just got here. Thought you should know." Blake just nods.

"Should we leave?" Gwen asks.

"Hell no. I have a plan," Blake says. 

"Really? Does it involve having sex in a closet, because I really don't think--"

Blake grabs Gwen in the middle of her sentence and plants his lips on hers. She doesn't protest, because she's been thinking about that goddamn Halloween kiss for days. And he's a really good kisser. And hell, she's single, she's allowed to enjoy kissing a handsome man, right? Except it's more complicated than that, and Gwen knows better.

The kiss lasts longer than it probably should have, but they finally come up for air.

"Let me guess--Miranda just walked by," Gwen says, and Blake nods.

"Sorry... I know you weren't ready for that."

 _I'm always ready for that,_ Gwen thinks to herself. She has the good sense to not say it out loud, though.

They mingle for a while longer, still holding hands, still acting like a new, happy couple. Gwen takes a sip of champagne while Blake talks to Carrie, and she sees Miranda across the room, looking at Gwen like she's trying to murder her with her eyes. Gwen feels sorry for her, actually. Miranda lost herself a good man. Gwen knows that Blake can be a challenge--he can be stubborn and annoying and childish. But she can also see what an amazing husband Blake would be, and thinks someone would have to be plain crazy to do what Miranda did. 

Before they leave, Blake's phone dings and he takes it out of his pocket. He laughs when he sees the message.

"What does it say?" Gwen asks, curious.

Blake hands her the phone. The text says _I will never forgive you for this._ It's obviously from Miranda.

"Ouch," Gwen says, not able to hold herself back from grinning.

"Yep. What will I do without her forgiveness?" Blake says. "I guess I'll just wither up and die."

"It's the only option, clearly." 

Gwen sees Miranda watching them out of the corner of her eye. Gwen knows Miranda saw Blake read the text and laugh. For some reason, this is immensely satisfying. Gwen thankfully hasn't heard from Gavin yet about the situation, although he must know by now. He probably saw the news about her and Blake but doesn't care; that would be more typical for him.

The two of them leave together, once again holding hands. Blake drives her to the hotel and they laugh the entire way about Miranda's text. She gives him a kiss on the cheek before she gets out of the car, and he gives her a smile she's never seen before. And as she gets ready for bed, Gwen thinks to herself that something else has changed after their second kiss. They are united now--against Miranda, against the haters, and basically against the world. And that is a very powerful feeling.

****

_The third kiss_

The day before the live episodes are starting on The Voice, Blake comes over to Gwen's house--officially because she left her sunglasses in his car, and also because the paparazzi just like to follow him around since they apparently have nothing else to do. But unofficially, he just wants to see her again. 

Gwen hasn't said this out loud yet, but he's pretty sure she doesn't want him to hang out with the kids yet. He's met them, of course; she brings the boys to the set fairly often and Zuma and Kingston seem to like him a lot--they're always climbing on him and getting him to tell stupid jokes. But she doesn't want them to know he's her boyfriend, or at least pretending to be, quite yet. He gets it. So he comes over when they're not home. 

"You didn't have to bring these over," Gwen says, taking the sunglasses. "I could have gotten them tomorrow!"

"I know, but..."

"Yeah," Gwen says. "I know. I was just eating a kale salad, do you want some?"

"Uh, no thanks," Blake says. "I'm hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

Gwen laughs. "Hey, you look like you've lost some weight lately."

"Yeah, I was on the divorce diet for a while. Instead of eat, I just went down a spiral of sadness and misery instead," he says. 

"Yep. I know the feeling. If I didn't have to feed the boys, I probably wouldn't have eaten at all. Here, come in the kitchen, I'll make you something."

"Ah, Gwen, no offense, but I'm not really in a salad mood."

"Are you _ever_ in a salad mood?"

"Good point," Blake concedes.

"Come on, I'll make you a grilled cheese sandwich. No green stuff, I promise."

Blake wants to protest, but he also wants a grilled cheese, so he follows Gwen into the kitchen. She makes it just the way he likes it--tons of butter and lots of cheese. They talk about everything and yet they talk about nothing. Neither of them address the two times they've kissed or how this PR stunt is turning into more than either of them planned. Maybe they should... but they don't.

When Blake is finished, Gwen looks at her watch and he knows it's time to leave because the boys are coming home soon. 

"I better head out," he says. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh, yes. The live shows. They should definitely be interesting."

"For sure." The two of them just kind of stare at each other for a second, and then Gwen escorts him out of the house to the car. 

"Thanks for the sandwich," Blake says, but Gwen doesn't hear him because she's looking down the street at an oncoming car.

"I'm sorry about this," Gwen says, and she pins him against the truck and gives him a kiss he knows he'll remember forever. Unlike the last two, it's filled with passion and desire and rage, and her tongue finds his, and her lips taste like candy, and he knows Gavin is in that car and she's just doing what he did to her a few days ago, but Blake doesn't care. He wants to live inside this kiss. But then it ends just as quickly as it began. So much for not wanting the kids to see him at the house.

"Well... okay, then," Blake says, and Gwen nods, and Blake gets in the car and drives away just as Gavin pulls up with the kids. He certainly is glad not to be a part of _that_ particular conversation that's about to happen.

When Blake gets back to his sad, empty house, he opens a beer and watches a football game. He gets so into the Cardinals game that he forgets where he put his phone. When it's over, Blake finds his phone on top of the microwave and sees that he has two texts. 

_I saw those Halloween pics... looked pretty convincing. I hope it's worth it, Blake. I don't feel so great about this anymore. Please call me._

"Damn," Blake says out loud. With all the drama happening in the last couple of weeks, he hasn't been back to Oklahoma and he hasn't been good about calling Sara as much as he should. He has to be a better boyfriend. He has to stop kissing Gwen Stefani.

The second text says, _Sorry about that couldn't help myself, maybe next time we can do it w/o an audience, gx_

Blake is bewildered by this text. What in the world does she mean? Well, he knows what she means, but she couldn't possibly mean _that._

A minute later, he gets one more text. _I shouldnt have said that sorry again, got carried away. Lets talk 2morrow b4 the show gx_

Blake texts back, _K._ She's right. They need to talk. Too many lines have been crossed and it has to end. The problem is... he just doesn't want it to.

****

Gwen's alone in her trailer, looking at her tweets and texting Jen and Todd, who are looking after the kids while she's doing the show. There's a knock on her door, and she says, "Come in, it's not locked."

Blake comes in, looking hot as usual, and her stomach does the flippy thing it's been doing whenever he's near her these days.

"Hey," she says, and gets up to hug him. He clings to her like he's taking his last dying breath. She has a bad feeling about this talk they're going to have.

"Hey," he says quietly. "I was wonderin', how'd it go with Gavin last night after I left?"

Gwen rolls her eyes. "I didn't even talk to him. The nanny got Apollo out of his seat and Zuma and Kingston ran into the house and I managed to avoid him completely." She saw the way he looked at her, though. It was very similar to Miranda's look at the after party. And later, she got a text that said, _Really? You're dating that hick cowboy now? I thought you had better taste than that._ Before she could stop herself, Gwen wrote back, _Obviously not, I was married to you, wasn't I?_ He didn't have anything to say to that and she considered it a win.

"Well, that's always good when you don't have to talk to that dickweed. Hey, um, look, I'm not usually a guy who talks about his feelings or what not, but I need to say something and I'm just going to say it. Right now."

"Okay, I'm listening," Gwen says nervously.

Blake sighs, and then takes a deep breath, and then exhales. "Okay. Here it is. At first I wanted nothing to do with this 'plan,' but I went along with it because it seemed like you needed me to. And then we got closer, and we became good friends, and I didn't want to stop. And after the first kiss, I knew we were in trouble, and then the next two were even better. I should have seen this coming, but I didn't. I told myself that I was just attracted to you, but I think--no, I _know_ \--that it's more than that. And it feels like you know that, too. And while it would be interesting to go down that road, I can't."

"Because of Sara," Gwen says quietly. Her heart is beating so fast, and all she wants to do is kiss him again, hold his hand and tell him that it's going to be okay, but she can't. She knew from the beginning that it can't happen like this, but she still got emotionally invested, anyway. Oh, this is going to hurt. So much.

"Because of Sara. Yeah. I do love her, and she's been so good to me since the divorce, and while it would be so easy to be with you for real, I can't do that to her. So... as much as it's going to suck for a while, let's just do this for the cameras and not for each other, okay? No more kissing. As much as I want there to be way more kissing--and I do, Gwen. That's the problem."

"I know. I get it." She has so much more to say, but it's better left unsaid. There's something undeniable between the two of them, but it would just have to stay that way. Maybe in another life, they could have been something special. But in this one... there's Sara.

"I'm sorry." And Blake genuinely does look sorry.

"Don't be. This was all my idea in the first place. If anything, I'm sorry that I got you into this mess."

Blake puts his arm around her and she snuggles in gratefully. They stay this way for a few minutes, just being with each other in the moment. They eventually get themselves together since they're about to be on live TV. There's no time to mourn what could have been.

Before Blake leaves, he says, "I hate the lucky bastard who gets to kiss you next." And then he's gone, and Gwen's heart breaks a little bit more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let's talk about Make Me Like You. I mean... is that song even real or did we just dream it?!
> 
> Also, I'll admit this chapter is kind of filler-heavy, but it'll pay off in the next one, I swear to Lucifer. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, thanks for the Kudos, thanks for the comments, and rock on!

Before Kaynette, before Miranda, before Gwen, there was Sara.

Blake and Sara grew up together in Ada, and his mom and Sara’s mom used to joke that they’d fall in love and get married someday. And for a long time, Blake believed that was his fate. When they were kids, they’d chase each other around on the red dirt of Oklahoma. Their families often spent the holidays together. Sara would help Blake with his math homework, and Blake taught Sara how to play the guitar. Their friendship was pure and true, and Blake never, ever questioned it. He just accepted that she was his best friend, and she'd share everything that happened to him. When Blake was 14, his brother was killed in a drunk driving accident, and when Sara heard, she rushed to Blake’s side and didn’t leave until he had cried the last of his tears. She held his hand and listened to his sobs and made him eat even though he never wanted to again. She was always there for him, as he was for her. The two of them were known as “BlakeandSara” to their friends and parents. They were inseparable.

Inevitably, as teenagers, they started going on dates to the movies and out for pizza, and eventually, they started kissing and everything else teenagers do when they’re bored. Sara had turned from a tomboy with scraped knees and pigtails to the girl next door every pre-teen had a crush on. She had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes that she would always describe as “mysterious.” Much to the appreciation of the aforementioned boys, she also developed early. And a lot. She just wasn’t interested in dating--well, dating anyone but Blake. 

They were each other’s firsts, and they really thought they’d be the last. It was that kind of all-consuming love that one thinks is going to last forever, and Blake was a hundred percent sure that wherever he was going, Sara was coming with him. They’d talk for endless hours about how he was going to be a star someday, and how he was going to take Nashville by storm. They were planning to go together after he graduated from high school. And, well, he did end up going… alone.

As a teenager in the early nineties in Oklahoma, sex education wasn’t particularly a priority, and even though both of them had the basics down, they didn’t worry much about protection. So it wasn’t exactly a shock when, two months before graduation, Sara got pregnant. She wasn’t exactly jumping for joy, but she wasn’t upset about it, either.

“This will be great, Blake,” she told him. He was pacing around his bedroom, wondering how he could be so stupid as to get Sara pregnant. They were in love, yes, but he didn’t want to get married yet, and he certainly didn’t want kids. He was 17 years old! He had plans, and this was not part of them.

“Oh, yeah? What exactly is so great about it?” He recognized Sara was excited about it, but he didn’t share her enthusiasm. Blake recognizes now, more than 20 years later, what an asshole he was about the whole thing. But at the time, he couldn’t hide his feelings.

“Well, first of all we’ll get married, of course. Then we can go to Nashville and raise the baby! I’ll take care of her--I just know it’s a girl--while you’re out singin’. We can be a little family, Blake.” 

Blake sighed. Sara was always so big on this having a family stuff. He wanted one someday, sure, but not when he was trying to make something out of himself. 

“The idea was you were gonna get a job in Nashville,” Blake said. “You can’t get a job with a baby, you know.”

Sara frowned. “It’s not perfect, I get that. But don’t you want to be a daddy? Come on, Blake. Think about it. It’ll be fun.”

Blake did think about it--he really did. And he ultimately decided it wasn’t what he wanted for his life. Although he loved Sara with everything he had inside of him, he loved music more. However, he had no idea how to tell her that he was leaving and she wasn’t invited, so he waited all the way up until the day after graduation, when the decision was made for him.

He was sitting on the porch, strumming his guitar and thinking about what he was going to tell Sara, since time was running out--he was leaving in a week. While he was playing Ring of Fire, one of his favorite songs, Sara came out of nowhere and sat next to him on the porch. Out of habit, he smiled at her. She was always his ray of sunshine, even if he was planning on breaking her heart.

“Ah, Johnny. My favorite,” Sara said.

“Mine, too,” Blake said, nodding. Of course they already knew that about each other. They discovered him together.

“Keep playing. I wanna listen.”

So Blake kept playing and Sara put her head on his shoulder. How many times had they done this? Probably thousands. 

As soon as Blake finished the song, Sara blurted out, “I lost the baby.”

Blake was… something. A feeling he couldn’t yet identify.

“Oh, my god… what happened?”

Sara shrugs. “I don’t know. I was bleedin' and Mama took me to the hospital. The doctor said miscarriages happen all the time, and that I’m so young, he’s sure I’ll be able to have another one someday without a problem.” She sounded like she was going to be okay, but Blake knew better. He knew it was destroying her, and he didn’t know what to do about it. So he said probably the worst thing he could have said.

“Well… maybe it’s for the best,” he said, and instantly knew it was the wrong thing to say.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sara asked, looking more crushed than angry.

“I mean, we’re young. We’ve got so many plans. I have to make money in Nashville first. You know the deal."

Sara was quiet for way too long. He didn’t know what to do, so he just started strumming his guitar again.

Finally she said, “I guess you’re right. When we get to Nashville, we can start over again. It’ll be fine. _We’ll_ be fine.”

Blake knew he had to tell her that he was going to Nashville alone. If he didn't do it right at the moment, he probably never would. And she at least deserved to hear him say the words.

“Um, Sara… I’m going to Nashville alone. I want to focus on my music, and I don’t think you bein’ there is going to be such a good thing.”

Sara looked completely devastated.

“What are you talkin’ about, Blake?! I’ve already made all the plans! I quit my job at Dairy Queen, I’ve started packin’, my friends are throwin’ me a going away party! Why are you doin’ this? We had plans, Blake!”

She was crying, and Blake felt utterly empty inside. Why _was_ he doing this? Why was he breaking Sara’s heart when she was the only girl he’s ever truly loved (besides his mama and his grandmas, of course)? But at the same time, he had to get out. He had to go somewhere and be with people who had never met him. A fresh start.

“I’m sorry, Sara. I’ve made up my mind. I hope you’ll understand someday.” Even he knew what an asshole he sounded like. 

“Blake Shelton, this is the worst mistake you’ve ever made, and I hope you fail in Nashville. I hope nobody ever wants to listen to your music. I hope you’ll end up as unhappy as you made me.” Sara looked like she wanted to say so much more, but instead she spat on his guitar and ran away. It stung, and he knew he’d be getting over Sara for maybe the rest of his life, but at the moment, he only had one thing on his mind--music.

So Blake went to Tennessee, and it wasn’t overnight or anything, but he made his own path; he built his way from country boy from Oklahoma to a successful country singer. When Austin came out and made him a household name, Sara called him, and they started talking again. He’d visit when he came back to Oklahoma, and it was clear that Sara hadn't gotten over him. But he never wanted to break her heart again, so he tried to not lead her on. Until the divorce. 

He came to see his mother a few days after he and Miranda decided it was over. All he wanted to do was sleep and eat his mom’s home cooked comfort food. 

One day, he was watching a football game on the couch, a blanket draped over his head. His phone would ring every five minutes, but he was ignoring it. Just a few more days. A few more days of wallowing, and he’d get back on his feet and resume his life. There were things to do, after all. Like call his lawyer, which he was dreading the most, but it was a necessary evil.

He hears the doorbell ring, but he also ignores this. What’s the point? It’s not his house. Nobody wants to see him, anyway.

“Honey?” Blake’s mom comes in the living room. 

“Yeah?”

“Honey, Sara’s here.”

Blake finally looks away from the TV. “Sara?”

“Yes, Sara. Maybe you should go talk to her?” Dorothy always liked Sara; she was almost just as heartbroken as Sara was when the two of them broke up.

“Okay…” Blake says, and throws his blanket off. He goes into the bathroom to throw some water on his face. He should change out of his pajamas, but he looks like such a hot mess that there’s no time to fix himself up quickly. Sara’s seen him at his worst, anyway. 

As soon as Blake sees Sara standing in the doorway (not the same doorway of his childhood; obviously as soon as he made enough money, he bought his mom a nicer house), he realizes she is the only person in the world he actually wants to see. 

“Hi,” he says shyly.

Sara looks at him with compassion in her eyes. “Hi. I heard you were back for a few days. Wanna talk?”

He did want to talk. And she wanted to listen. He was finally able to talk about everything Miranda did, everything he did, everything they did to each other. Sara didn’t try to talk him out of his feelings or anything; all she did was listen and support him. And Blake felt all those old teenage feelings returning, except now there were so much more intense. And even though he knew it was trouble; even though he knew he’d probably end up breaking her heart for a second time, he pursued a relationship with her. Sara accepted him into her life willingly. 

Blake wishes he could explain this all to Gwen. He wishes he could tell her how Sara is the only woman in his life who has never judged him, who has loved him for all these years despite the fact he was an asshole to her before he left. And there is a huge part of himself who never forgave himself for leaving Sara behind after she suffered such a traumatic incident, and now he has the chance to make up for that. Now he can be the man he wasn’t back then. Maybe those reasons are misguided--probably they are--but he’s still blind from the divorce and can’t see straight. Gwen is smart and funny and special and beautiful, and he enjoyed kissing her, and if Sara wasn’t in the picture, nothing could stop him from going after her full speed. But this is his life now, and he has come to peace with that.

When Blake goes back to Oklahoma after the first week of Voice live shows, he drives straight to Sara’s house. When she opens the door with a huge smile on her face, Blake blurts out, “I kissed Gwen.” And Sara’s smile fades faster than he can finish the sentence.

Blake tells her everything, and she’s upset, and she yells, and she even throws a spatula across the room when he tells her about the CMAs kiss, but they talk it through, and Sara realizes that Blake doesn’t want to be with Gwen, he just got caught up in the moment, and it won’t happen again. 

Blake leaves Oklahoma confident that his relationship is on track. What he’s not prepared for is what kind of Gwen he’s going to encounter when he gets back. If he had known, he probably would have just stayed in Oklahoma.

****

One thing Gwen Stefani is very good at is seething, quiet, bitter, angry hatred. She's basically an expert at it by now, having gotten a lot of practice during her marriage. Gavin is an excellent father, and he was a decent husband when he wasn't criticizing her looks (if it were up to him, she'd never take her make-up off; she often thought he'd prefer it if she were to come to bed at night fully made up and dressed for an evening on the town) or not able to keep it in his pants for any suitable length of time. And now, as she has to pretend that she and Blake are in a relationship, she is developing a hatred for him she never knew she was capable of feeling. The opposite of love is hate, right? So she hates him because she can't love him. It makes sense in her head, anyway.

There are many reasons why this anger has taken her over, but the biggest one is... how can he just walk away from what they potentially have together? There's _something_ between them, something powerful. Well, at least there was before he made his decision. She sure hopes it's worth it.

Gwen knows this whole thing is petty and childish and she is much too old to be playing these games. She also knows she’s forgetting a major piece of the puzzle here, and that her name is Sara. Gwen actually likes Sara, and she wants her to have that dream vacation in Paris. So the fact that she wants to hate this woman makes no sense, and again, she focuses her energy on hating Blake with every fiber of her body. He keeps trying to talk to her about it, but like a rebellious teenager, she refuses. There’s nothing to talk about. Maybe there will be again someday, but for now, she’s being selfish. She’s earned that.

For this reason, the live shows are especially excruciating. She tries _very hard_ to find a place within herself that doesn't hate Blake. It appears to be pretty important to a lot of people that she and Blake are “falling in love.” Not only to her handlers, but her fans, too. She's noticed that a lot of her twitter followers seem to be very emotionally invested in her "relationship." She seems to be getting a mix of Miranda lovers who call her a homewrecking whore (if only they knew the truth about Miranda… ) and an avalanche of young women who call her and Blake "Shefani," and tweet both of them about how inspiring they are. It's funny; when Gwen first started in this business a million years ago, somehow she thought her music would be taken seriously and her personal life wouldn't be a subject of utter fascination to complete strangers. But then again, that _is_ the whole point of this thing she's doing with Blake, and since it's working... she reminds herself to keep her eyes fixed on Blake whenever possible, makes sure to joke with him about the songs he's picking for his contestants, go to his chair during commercial breaks, and fling herself into his arms during introductions. Blake plays along, and the whole thing is seamless, except she hates him and she hates that she knows he likes to take his time when he kisses her, and that one time he bit her lip in a fit of passion that she can't forget, no matter how hard she tries.

During the second week of live shows, Adam's girl Amy performs Hotline Bling. As soon as Gwen hears the first couple of notes and then Amy's bluesy, seductive voice, she knows Adam has done this on purpose. And when Blake comments on the song and mentions Gwen singing it to him on the Tonight Show, the audience goes crazy and Gwen glares at Adam quickly before turning on her "Oh, ha ha, you're so funny, I heart you" eyes for Blake. 

During the commercial, Gwen immediately hops out of her chair and turns around to Adam.

"Don't you fucking do that again," Gwen whispers angrily. Adam is clearly taken aback and shocked by this violent side of Gwen.

"What... the fuck, Gwen? What is wrong with you?"

"You did that on purpose to mess with Blake and I," she spits out. "If we're really doing this... if we're really trying to fuck with each other through our song choices, oh, I'll have a real doozy for you next week."

Adam is speechless. Gwen feels kind of bad, but not really. Finally, he finds his bearings.

"Look, Gwen, I have no idea what the hell is going on with you and Blake, but this 'fake relationship' nonsense is between the two of you. If you're going to pin your weird aggressive anger on someone, it's not going to be me. You know I love you, but this is not my thing. I may have chosen the song to get on Blake's nerves, because that's what we do. We have an actual real  
friendship not based on record sales or truckloads of money. So... go take a breath or something because this is not my scene."

Gwen knows everything he's saying is the truth, and it stings, especially coming from someone she respects as much as Adam.

"Sorry," she says quietly. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Adam says, "Come over here," and she does, and he hugs her tightly. "This is going to get easier," he whispers in her ear. "I know it sucks right now, but it's for the best."

Gwen realizes Blake talked to Adam about the situation. She shouldn't be surprised; the two of them are besties and Adam is always looking out for him. It still kind of pisses her off, though.

It's a good thing the commercial break is almost over because all Gwen wants to do is have a pity party with Adam. But he releases her and she goes back to her chair, only to look over at Blake and see him staring right back at her. She smiles when she realizes they're back and the camera is on her. The grin is plastered on her face the rest of the night, and she laughs at Blake’s dumb jokes and cries when Jeffrey sings Let It Go. When the show is finally over and she’s finished talking to Braiden, Jeffrey, and Korin, Gwen hauls ass out to the parking lot. Todd’s keeping the boys tonight and she’s looking forward to just going home and sinking blissfully into her bed.

Of course, Blake is waiting for her by her car. She sighs, because this isn’t what she wants. Again, she knows it’s completely irrational, and maybe after the show tomorrow, she can take the next couple of days and get over it. Drink some wine, eat some ice cream (as if she’d ever eat ice cream, but she appreciated the concept of it), and just get.over.it.

“I’m not in the mood for this,” she says as she gets to the car.

“Well, you know what, I’m not, either,” Blake snaps, and she’s frankly a bit taken aback by his tone. She’s never heard him raise his voice, not to anyone.

“Okay…” She waits for him to continue.

“I don’t deserve the cold shoulder,” he says. “I don’t deserve your anger, and you know it. Let me remind you, Gwen, that this whole thing was _your_ idea. I only went along with it ‘cause you sounded so desperate. And I told you from the _very beginning_ about Sara. I never lead you on. I don’t deserve this!”

“But the kiss--” Gwen starts to say.

“The kiss was also _your idea._ Yes, I didn’t protest or complain, and the second kiss was _my_ idea, but you started the whole kissing thing. Look, I get it--divorce fucking sucks. It hurts and it burns and it takes the wind out of ya. And I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you, havin’ the kids and all. But that’s not my fault. ‘Cause Gwen, I can assure you, if things were different and I ever was lucky enough to be married to you, we would _never_ get divorced. You got me?”

Gwen is feeling about a thousand different things, and number one is guilt. But as much as she wants to get over these irrational feelings of anger, they cling to her like a soft blanket on a cold day. Still, she tries to force a smile and pretend that she’s over the worst of it.

“You’re right, Blake. You are totally right. I’m… I’m sorry. I know there’s more to say than that, but that’s all I got right now.”

“I’ll take it for now,” Blake says. “You’ll get through this, Gwen. I promise you.”

Gwen doesn’t know what to say… because unfortunately she knows that if she talks too much, Blake will know that her emotions are betraying her. 

She doesn’t have to say anything. Blake comes closer and gives her a warm hug. She wishes the hug means more than what he wants it to. 

“Thanks, Blake. See you tomorrow.” 

She gets in her car before he tries to say anything else. Gwen waits until she gets home to close the door, throw her purse and keys on the couch, and lays down on the floor to cry.

Gwen allows herself a few more days of wallowing, and then she starts to realize something--there are some really good things happening in her life, actually. Her new album is coming together, thanks to Justin and the Breakfast Club she’s been writing with for months. Her kids are wonderful rays of sunshine. And her new song, well, it’s not tearing up the charts or anything, but just the fact that it’s on the radio means the world to her. Gwen is more than aware that at her age, and with the longevity of her career, a new song being played on the radio these days is huge. She’s also doing tons of radio interviews (in which she never talks about Blake; the divorce isn’t even final yet and besides, she thinks it’s more fun and mysterious to keep everyone guessing instead of just admitting they’re dating) and the covers of a few magazines, which is always one of Gwen’s favorite things to do. She even gets to perform the song on the American Music Awards, and she wears a black see-through dress she knows will get everyone’s attention. Which is what she wants, she assures herself. It’s actually the point of everything she’s doing lately. Nobody outside of the music business could ever guess how hard it is to stay relevant as you get older. Gwen is trying everything she possibly can, and it’s working. It’s working!

This success is immensely satisfying to her, and it’s helping her realize she doesn’t even need a man to fulfill her anymore. She’s got her kids and her music and her hope, and that’s all she needs. And what she wants? Well, that just doesn’t matter as much. For Blake, November continues in a haze of going to Oklahoma to see Sara while pretending to date Gwen. He and Gwen facetime every time she’s out in public just in case the paps get a picture of it, which they do frequently. Kind of embarrassing, really, but he’s just keeping up with his end of the deal. And ever since Gwen got over her anger towards him, they’ve been co-existing just fine. 

They’d ride to the studio together every now and then, making sure they’d take the easiest route for the paps to find them. He attends a Hollywood party with Gwen and finds that he doesn’t even hate it--especially when he gets to meet Jennifer Aniston. They flirt at every moment possible during the show and spend commercial breaks by each other’s side. They’re not even talking about anything important; it’s mostly about her kids and their plans for the weekend and how they both want to get a new dog. They never talk about the kissing, or the near-miss of falling in love, or any other sensitive topic.

Blake is very surprised to learn that the sales of his album--actually all of his albums--are up, and he gets thousands of new twitter followers a day, and he’s being mentioned on all the gossip shows several times a week, and it’s doing wonders for his name in general. He kind of hates that lying to the American public is what made this happen for him, but hey, there’s plenty of money in his pocket and he can’t really complain about that. 

Something happens at the end of November that Blake doesn’t expect. He’s heard Gwen’s song, Used to Love You, a number of times by now, and even tweeted support for her when she performed it at the AMAs. So when she’s scheduled to sing it on the Voice, he continues to do interviews about how brave she is for singing it, and how beautiful her dress will be when she performs it. However, he’s not prepared for _how_ brave and _how_ beautiful Gwen is when she appears on that stage. For some reason, hearing it live changes something in him. He can’t put his finger on it, but it’s really starting to freak him out. When the song ends, he stands up and claps, not able to take his eyes off of her for a single second. Blake knows the camera is on him, searching for his reaction, but his smile is real. He is so proud of Gwen for going up there and singing such a personal song, he almost can’t even stand it. Also, he wants to find Gavin Rossdale and punch him in the dick, but that’s another subject entirely. 

When it’s over, Blake rushes past everyone else, finds her, and hugs her tightly. Gwen is surprised by this act of PDA. 

Blake, the cameras aren’t even on us right now,” she whispers. 

“I don’t care,” he whispers back. “I just need you to know how amazing you just were up there. Utterly amazing. Life changing.” 

Gwen is grinning, and looking at him like he’s her personal savior. 

“Thank you, Blake. That means so much to me."

Gwen leaves to change before the commercial is over, and Blake goes back to his seat. He gets a text from Sara that says, _wow, she was so good,_ and he texts back, _yep._ And as the show starts again, he wonders what just happened and why he feels like everything has changed. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for all your feedback, I lovveee it! Since there's been a bit of a delay, as usual, here is another super-sized chapter. Please enjoy, and rock on.

Maybe... maybe Gwen is a little drunk. Okay, a lot drunk. She's not driving, she doesn't have the kids, so what's the problem? Oh, that would be the paparazzi who are outside waiting to take pictures of her and Blake waiting at the valet with Todd and Jen. Gwen's manager is actually the one who tips the paps that Gwen and Blake would be at the Mexican food restaurant, and she texts Gwen, _Be cute and laugh a lot while you wait for valet outside,_ which irritates Gwen beyond what is rational. But this is what she signed up for, after all, so she shows the text to Blake, who frowns, but doesn't really care because he's pretty damn drunk, too.

They haven't talked about it, of course, but the two of them have come to a silent agreement, with themselves and with each other. Blake is attracted to Gwen and he has a deep and aching respect for how she's putting herself out there with her music and general disposition. He's learned very quickly how to put those feelings aside, however, since Sara deserves more than a man with a wandering eye. When this is all over, he’s going to take Sara on a vacation she’ll never forget. He’d start taking her to red carpet things and talking about her in interviews, but that’s not her kind of life. She doesn’t want to be in the spotlight, and Blake respects that. In the meantime, he’s enjoying having Gwen along for the ride. She is so smart, so talented, and so, well, beautiful. 

Gwen thinks Blake is a handsome cowboy and, while she can easily see them being a good fit for each other, she knows he's committed to Sara. And besides, she has too much going on right now to get involved in some kind of all-consuming romance. So she develops a certain kind of detachment with herself while she spends so much time with Blake. The feelings she has for him exist somewhere in the universe, but not on the surface. That’s how she spent the last five years of her marriage--sweeping all the problems and doubts and fears under the rug--so it’s not that difficult, really.

So they continue their flirtation on the show and the date nights and the dodging of interview questions about their relationship. They both go in the studio whenever possible to finish their albums. They text each other every now and then, but for the most part, when they don't have to communicate, they don't. It's best for everyone that way.

When Gwen woke up this morning, she found Blake’s hat with the logo of his ranch in Oklahoma that he gave her a few weeks ago on the nightstand and put it on. She laughed to herself as she took a selfie with it on and sent it out to Twitter with the caption “Good morning gx.” She was satisfied that this would drive certain people insane. If some of those people happen to be Gavin (and/or Miranda, she’s not picky), then this arrangement is working better than she anticipated. She has to admit that it’s kind of fun, although she will be relieved when she gets to “break up” with Blake in January. It’s been interesting, but she does actually does want to date someone and be intimate with them and not worry about their “other” girlfriend. 

Now, Blake and Gwen unsteadily walk out to the valet. Blake hands someone the ticket, and they all wait outside for what seems like an hour. Blake entertains Jen and Todd (who know the score; Gwen didn’t want to lie to them about it, which Blake respects) and Gwen, and they’re all laughing like idiots. When it’s clear the car isn’t coming any time soon, Gwen stumbles over to Blake (she’s finding her red boots aren’t so easy to maneuver around in when she’s had too much to drink) and whispers, “The paps are across the street. See them?” Blake looks, frowns, and nods. “Well, let’s give ‘em something to talk about,” she says. 

Blake wraps his arms around her and she cuddles into him. He kisses her forehead and she makes sure she looks like she’s in ecstasy, which… is more annoying than anything, actually. It takes her back to when she was with Gavin and she forced a smile whenever they were in public together. If only she could go back in time. She was so terrified of divorce hurting the children, but they seem happy as ever now. Well, hindsight is 20/20, as they say. 

Blake continues to keep his arm around her, and she continues to look up at him with stars in her eyes. Finally, the car comes and Jen gets in the driver’s seat, since Gwen and Blake are too drunk to drive. Blake opens the door for Gwen and she slides in. He sits next to her.

“Do you think it’s workin’?” Blake asks her as Jen drives away. “I mean, all this ridiculous PDA crap?”

“I do, don’t you?” Blake’s newest song, Gonna, is slowing climbing the country charts, and it looks as though it’ll be his 16th consecutive number one hit. He sang it on the show last night (while Gwen tried to look like she was so proud of her new man up there onstage, singing and playing his guitar and being the hot country star that he is, just in case the camera focused on her, which of course they did because they know the deal; they realize a huge part of the audience and viewers at home know that she and Blake are together and want to see them reacting to each other as much as possible) and received an incredible amount of positive reactions from social media. 

The big question that is often on both of their minds is, would they both be doing so well with their music lately if they weren’t pretending to date? Gwen doesn’t know anymore. And they haven’t exactly talked about it. They’ve both learned that discussing anything too deeply is dangerous for them.

“I guess so. I still think it’s a load of crap, though,” Blake replies. 

“So why are you still doing it? It’s not like you signed a contract or anything.” Gwen is genuinely curious.

“I dunno… it seems like it’s important to you. I want--I just want you to be happy, Gwen,” he says, and her heart breaks a little.

“Well, that’s nice of you to say,” Gwen says, and he nods. There’s so much more to add, but they’re not crossing that line again. No matter how much both of them want to.

****

Jen pulls up to Gwen’s house, behind another car in the driveway. Gwen groans when she sees the car. 

“Oh, god, is that--”

“Yes,” Gwen says, and sighs. “He _would_ do this right now.”

“What? Who is that?” Blake is pretty sure he knows who it is, and he’s actually looking forward to this incoming confrontation.

“It’s Gavin. Unfortunately.” Gwen grabs her purse and Blake’s hand and they get out of the car. Blake immediately understands his role in this situation. Maybe this will be the night he gets to punch the son of a bitch. He’s always wanted to do that.

Jen rolls down the window and asks, “Will you be okay?”

“Of course,” Gwen says. “Go home. Thanks for driving.”

“Be careful,” Jen replies. Gwen nods, and watches him drive off. 

“What is that jackass doing here?” Blake snarls. Their buzz is starting to wear off and both of them are starting to get annoyed. This is not what they envisioned for the end of their evening.

“Who knows? I haven’t seen him in weeks. The nanny drops the kids off these days. The _new_ nanny,” she adds. 

“What do you want me to do? I can take off if you want me to.” Blake does not want to leave, but he doesn’t want to make Gwen uncomfortable, either.

“I’m sorry to ask you this, but can you come in with me? It’s not that I don’t feel safe or anything, but…”

Again, Blake knows what is expected of him at this moment. “No problem. Let’s go.”

He takes Gwen’s hand and they go inside. For some reason, Gavin still has keys to the house. He’s sitting on a stool in the kitchen when Blake comes in with Gwen. Gavin immediately rises from his stool.

“Oh, well, I’m _so sorry_ to interrupt your cozy evening together,” Gavin says when he sees Blake holding Gwen’s hand.

“Yeah, well, you are. What the hell do you want, Gavin? And where the hell are the boys, for that matter?” Gwen says, looking like she’s never hated anyone more in her entire life. Blake makes a note to himself not to ever piss Gwen off.

“They’re with the nanny. Did you think I left them at home with the stove on or something?”

“No,” Gwen says, shaking her head. “You were a shithole husband but you’re an excellent father.”

Gavin lets this insult go. “Thank you… I suppose.”

“So again… what the hell are you doing here? This is my house, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Yes, I see that, and you’re wasting no time in moving on in it, I see,” he says, and Blake can tell he instantly feels stupid for saying it; for setting himself up so easily.

However, Gwen doesn’t take the bait. She stares at him impatiently until he starts talking again.

“Well, anyway. I actually came to see what your plans are for the rest of the month. And, well, for Christmas. I know we talked about--”

Gwen sighs. “You know what my plans are, we’ve talked about this at least five times. I have the boys on Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and the day after. You can take them wherever your heart desires when it’s not on those three days.”

“Yes, I know that’s what the plan was.” He looks at Blake with pure hatred in his eyes. “Hey, mate, you mind going somewhere else while I talk to my wife here?”

“Ex-wife,” Blake and Gwen say together. 

“And Blake’s not going anywhere,” Gwen says. “So, please, do continue.”

“Fine. I wanted you to come skiing with us. So we can be a family again. You know how much fun we had a few years ago on our ski trip together. The boys had some lessons while we took advantage of the hot tub…”

Blake has literally never seen a more pathetic attempt to get someone back in their good graces in his whole life. He can’t imagine saying this kind of crap to Miranda, nor can he see her saying anything like that to him. Especially not after what Gavin was caught doing. Is this guy for real? He wants to say something--anything--but he knows Gwen can speak for herself.

“Yeah, those were some good times. And maybe if I didn’t know what you’ve been doing with Mindy, I’d say yes to that. But probably not, seeing that our marriage had been going down the toilet for the last couple of years anyway. Besides, I have plans. That do not involve you in any way.”

Gavin has the decency, at least, to look properly ashamed. “What ‘plans’ do you have? What could be better than skiing in Switzerland, enjoying a glass of wine in front of the fire at night?”

“She’s going to Oklahoma,” Blake says, not able to stop himself. “She’s coming with me to Oklahoma; she’s going to meet my family and we’ll still have a glass of wine in front of the fire. Many of them, probably.”

He has no idea what Gwen thinks of this idea, but he had to say _something._ This douchewheel was not going to get the best of her, not anymore.

Gwen looks surprised for a moment, but quickly recovers.

“Yes. We’re going to Oklahoma,” she says proudly. “I can’t wait to meet his mother. Word is, she’s already quite fond of me and she hasn’t even met me yet.”

Gavin scoffs. “Really? You’re going to Hicktown for Christmas? Are you sure you want to do that, Gwen? Because I swear, if you go to Oklahoma with this man…”

“You’ll what, divorce me? Cheat on me? I think you’ve already done all the damage you can. So take your empty threats and get the hell out of my house,” Gwen says, pointing to the front door. Blake can feel Gwen’s anger radiate off of her like a burst of heat. He wants to bust this guy in his face so fucking bad. He wishes Gavin would give him a reason. Any reason.

Gavin doesn’t want to leave. And he wants to say about a thousand different things, Blake knows. He wants to throw Gwen over his shoulder caveman-style and take her away with him. But he can’t. The guy had so many chances, and he blew all of them.

Instead of replying, Gavin stares at Gwen for way too long, does the math in his head about what he can possibly say next, and finally decides to just leave. That’s the first thing Gavin’s ever done that Blake actually respects. It’s funny; Blake was basically a 20-year-old in Nashville trying to make his dreams come true when Gavin’s band was actually relevant. Blake isn’t sure why that’s funny, but it sure does make him laugh.

When the door closes and they hear the sound of a motor running, Gwen turns to Blake and hugs him gratefully. “Thank you. Thank you for having my back with him. I’m not sure what I would have said if you weren’t here.”

“Would you have said yes to his question?” Blake asks.

“I don’t think so, no. I’m very much past the point of, “Well, he has a good point, I do want to be a family again.” But I don’t know if I would have been so bitchy about it if I didn’t have back-up.”

“Gwen… you weren’t being ‘bitchy.’ You were defending yourself with the man who destroyed your home. He deserves every single thing you want to say to him, for the rest of his life.” Blake doesn’t know why he’s so fired up about this.

Gwen grins at him. His heart grows three sizes.

“Thanks. Thank you.”

“So what do you think?” Blake asks.

“About what? The idiot who just walked out the door? Well, I definitely think--”

“No, not about that shithead. About going to Oklahoma before Christmas. The Cardinals game is a few days after Christmas, so we can go to Tishomingo for a bit, then you can get back to L.A., and I’ll meet you there to go to the game afterwards.”

Gwen stares at him. What, does he have a booger in his nose or something?

“You seriously want me to go to Oklahoma with you?”

“Well, no, not really, but that’s the deal, isn’t it?”

“What about Sara? She’s not going to like that, Blake…”

Blake didn’t exactly consider that before he asked Gwen to come. But Sara’s been very understanding, and January is getting closer and closer. He’s sure she’ll be fine with it. Mostly.

“Sara will be okay. Paris is calling for her. She just got her first passport a few days ago. So don’t worry about her,” Blake replies.

Gwen sits down on the stool Gavin just abandoned and looks deep in thought. “Well, yeah. Okay, yeah, that will be fun. I’m sure we’ll get our pictures taken at the Dollar Store or something. Let’s do it.”

Blake grins. “Great. It’ll be fun, I promise. I’ll make it worth your while.”

“You promise?” Gwen asks flirtatiously. They both chuckle. This is about to get interesting.

****

As December continues, Blake and Gwen spend more and more time together. Gwen does a few interviews to promote Used to Love You but still never mentions Blake by name, a trend she continues for months to come because it seems to get people talking more than if she addressed the situation directly. 

A few days after their valet pics make all the entertainment shows and websites, they spot more paparazzi when they’re in the car together, so they really ham it up this time. She strokes his face and he holds her head while gazing into her eyes, and the internet completely loses its mind. The two of them laugh like idiots for days about that one. This experiment seems to be bringing out the worst in Gwen sometimes--she’s finding that she sort of enjoys how utterly gullible the public can be. And she’s starting to wonder why she didn’t do this from the very beginning. It’s definitely a slippery slope she’s heading down.

They make sure to be as flirty and affectionate as possible on the show. On the last night, Gwen has many different wardrobe changes, and Blake compliments her on every one. She thought it was a nice touch when she came out in her killer red dress and he drops his phone upon seeing her. Eyewitness accounts of the incident quickly make their way to Twitter and everyone’s talking about how hot Blake thinks his woman is. It’s fascinating to Gwen how quickly these things happen. A few days later, she strolls into a shop that sells country-type clothing and lets the paps get millions of pics of her looking at hideous clothing she’d normally never be caught dead buying. However, she buys a few things so they can get pictures of it, thinking that she’ll have someone return them in a few days. Or… maybe she’ll give them to Blake after all, who knows. She’s not a huge fan of his clothing choices, usually, but he’s adorable in anything he wears, so she refrains from giving him fashion advice.

When Gwen gets back from her country store errand, she gets a text from her dad. _Blake bought me a grill! He’s helping me set it up in the backyard._ Gwen grins. Blake had met her dad a few weeks ago, and they, for some reason, had so much to talk about. He hadn’t even run this grill thing by her first. She tries her absolute hardest not to think about what’s right in front of her--even though they know what Gwen’s doing, her family is still embracing Blake he’s really her boyfriend, because he’s that charming. Every time she’s brought her boys to the set of the Voice, Zuma and Kingston are always running to him, wanting to hear his funny stories, waiting in anticipation of him making them laugh. Even Apollo likes to smile and babble at him. But she won’t think about that, because Blake Shelton is not her boyfriend. This is all an act. Nothing is real.

****

On the plane to Nashville, Blake drinks a beer and watches Gwen get comfortable in the seat in front of him. She puts some headphones on and scrolls through her phone looking at the little videos she’s always taking, and then texts what seems like a hundred people. The sun is setting in the clouds above California, and the light is illuminating her profile. He can’t help but stare at her. It’s not just her outer beauty he’s been seeing these past couple of months; he also sees the amazing things about her character. Her devotion to her kids, her strength through this whole mess of a divorce, how she puts absolutely everything inside of her in the lyrics of her songs. Somehow, she’s making Blake a better person, even if they’re not _really_ in a relationship. Just being in proximity of Gwen Stefani is changing his life completely. 

He’s not surprised to be having this revelation--actually, he’s just annoyed. Yes, those are all things he likes about Gwen, and all the things he can’t do anything about. Sara. Sara is his girlfriend. Sara is the one he wants a future with… right? He takes a deep breath and exhales. This will all be over in a month and he can move on with his life. It’ll be a relief. Not being able to reach out and touch Gwen's arm or put an errant hair behind her ear is causing him actual, physical pain. It’s ridiculous, really. 

She turns around for a second and smiles at him. He grins back. Blake knows Gwen is excited about going to Raelynn’s engagement party, even though she’s never met most of his friends who will be there. Nobody knows about them, and Gwen is ready to make them like her more than Miranda, which will be a difficult task seeing how most of the girls there are Miranda’s good friends. Gwen thinks of it as an exciting challenge. Blake digs that about her.

When the plane lands, Gwen looks back at Blake and says, “You ready for this? We’re about to spend a lot of time together in the next couple of weeks.”

“Well, it’s gonna be hard to put up with you and your 12 pieces of luggage, but I think we’ll make it,” Blake says. Gwen thankfully laughs, like he hoped she would. It’s not hard to hang out with Gwen all the time. They’re friends. Good friends. He likes her sense of humor, her laugh, her similar dependence on her cell phone. He likes a lot of things.

They have a good time at Raelynn and Josh’s engagement party. Just as Blake suspected, Gwen has no problem winning everyone over. Blake knows he and Miranda were the “fun” couple that everyone thought had the perfect relationship, but his friends are happy he’s moving on, as well, even if they are all still friends with Miranda. And Gwen is bubbly and happy and makes everyone feel really good about themselves. 

The two of them have some fun with everyone in the photo booth Raelynn brought in for her party. They do “couple-y” poses together with the other couples, make funny faces, and bring in some dumb props. They know the pictures will show up online somewhere eventually, so they make sure to look like an adorable new couple in love at an engagement party. Blake can so easily picture the two of them doing stuff like this together, and has a pang of sadness that Sara would never want to. She likes his friends, but high-profile stuff like this just doesn’t interest her. 

When Blake’s in the kitchen getting a bite to eat, Raelynn comes in and sits next to him. He puts his arm around her.

“I’m so happy for ya, sis. You’re growin’ up.”

Raelynn grins. “I’m so excited to get married! We’re going to have so much fun and grow old together and have babies and travel the world. I can’t wait.”

Blake nods, and takes another drink of champagne. That’s what he used to think about Miranda. He doesn’t say this out loud. Raelynn deserves to believe in happy endings. Plus, now he has a second chance with Sara. Sara hasn’t ever wanted a baby since she lost hers so many years ago, but she wants to adopt one. He can still have a future with the woman he loves. A great future. Even if it’s not with Gwen… a thought which he resents for about a thousand different reasons.

“You’re a lucky man, too, Blake. We all love Miranda, but Gwen is amazing. And I can tell she’s really into you, too.”

“Yeah?” Blake asks. Raelynn nods. “Well, she is special. I can’t believe she’s with me.”

“Aw, come on, Blake. You’re a catch. It’s about time someone realized that, too.” She grabs his glass of champagne and steals a sip, and then she leaves again.

When she’s not by Blake’s side, Gwen spends an unnerving amount of time talking and laughing with one of Josh’s older friends, Jack. Blake tries not to watch as this happens, but when he does happen to look over and she’s got her hand on his arm, laughing at some ridiculous thing he’s said, Blake can’t help but feel irrational jealousy swell through him. She’s allowed to talk to whoever she wants to, obviously, but… Blake doesn’t have to like it.

Since they had quite a bit to drink, the two of them take an Uber back to Blake’s Nashville house. They sit very close to each other in the backseat. The Uber driver keeps looking back at them like he can’t believe they’re in his car.

“That was fun,” Gwen says. “Your friends were very nice to me.”

“Of course they were. They’re nice people,” Blake says, although he actually wasn’t one hundred percent sure they would be so warm and inviting with Gwen. “Your friends are good to me, too.”

Gwen nods. “They’re all just relieved that Gavin’s not in my life anymore. He was great at first, but he was a nightmare at parties towards the end. Everyone was always relieved when I showed up without him.” She sighs and looks out the window.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” Blake says. He takes her hand. “At least it’s over now.”

Gwen smiles at him. “Thank God for that.” Blake, having grown up in Oklahoma, has always considered himself a religious person underneath the “country bad boy” persona. Sometimes he and Gwen get into long and involved discussions about religion, and he appreciates how spiritual she is. He never would have guessed that about her, but it’s very important to her. Praying and meditating and reading the Bible and going to church was a major factor in getting through the blackest days of her divorce, and same for Blake. It’s nice to have this touchstone to rely on between the two of them.

Gwen’s phone buzzes and she looks at a text. She laughs, and puts it back in her purse.

“Was that from Jack?” Blake can’t help but ask.

“Yeah. He’s funny.”

“I figured you thought so, since you were gettin’ awfully close there at the party.”

Gwen chuckles. “Oh, really? Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice there, Blake?”

“Yes,” Blake says simply. He could lie, but what was the point?

“Aww, that’s sweet of you, but nothing to worry about. We were just talking about kids most of the time. And he lives here, so it’s not convenient at all. Oh, and also you have a girlfriend, just in case you forgot.”

“Good,” Blake says, not bothering to defend himself. It’s okay--they’ll be in Oklahoma tomorrow and he’ll see Sara and everything will be fine. He’s… pretty sure, anyway.

When they get to the house, which Gwen has never been to, she takes one look at the inside and says, “Wow. This house sure is… pink.”

“Yeah, well, guess who the decorator was,” Blake says. He and Miranda still unfortunately share this house. It didn’t come up when they were splitting their assets because it’s not either of their main residences anymore; Miranda has her own house in Nashville now. But he still had to text her to let her know he’d be there during the weekend. Blake could tell from her responses ( _U better not bring that person there with you, I’m warning u!!_ ) that she wasn’t thrilled about Gwen staying in _her_ house. Not that he could give a tiny rat’s ass.

“Ugh. She didn’t even give you a chance, did she? I’m glad you divorced her; she has hideous tastes,” Gwen says. Blake raises his eyebrows. Gwen usually goes out of her way not to insult Miranda, or even talk about her at all. He guesses they’re both feeling a little out of sorts this evening.

“Well, anyway, there’s a guest bedroom down the hall. I’m gonna sleep on the couch since I don’t know what the hell she’s done in that bed lately.”

Gwen chuckles. “Okay. See you in the morning.”

There are so many things that can happen at this point, and Blake has thought of them. They could stay up and watch a movie and talk about the days ahead. She could ask him to spend the night with her, and he might not say no. So many things. Instead, Gwen takes her bag into the guest bedroom and he hears the water running. So he gets a blanket out of the linen closet and settles into his chosen couch.

Right before he’s about to drift off to sleep, Blake hears footsteps down the hallway. He opens his eyes to see Gwen in a t-shirt, tiny panties and nothing else. Obviously Blake has always known that she has a great body, but to see it without most of her clothes, he can barely even open his mouth to form a sentence. Her body is perfect. Literally the opposite of Miranda’s, even with 15 more years on her. It’s a work of art.

“Blake, sorry about this, but I was about to get in bed when I realized I didn’t pack my toothbrush. Do you have an extra one somewhere?”

 _That’s_ why she’s practically running down the hall in her underwear? What…

When Blake manages to remember how to talk, he says, “Yeah. I’ll go get it.” Blake gets up, forgetting he’s just wearing boxers himself. Well, tit for tat, he supposes.

Gwen follows him to the bathroom in his bedroom. “Nice chest hair,” she comments, looking at him with approval in her eyes. 

“You’re killin’ me here, Gwen Stefani,” Blake says as he looks through a bathroom drawer. “Just killin’ me.”

Gwen winks at him. “It’s fun, isn’t it? I’ve missed the teasing part of a relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” Blake says, and hands her the extra toothbrush, still in a wrapper.

“And whose fault is that?” Gwen replies, and laughs at the look on his face. “I’m just kidding, Blake. Just having a little fun. You’re having fun, right?”

“Maybe a little too much fun.” He would give absolutely anything to kiss her right now, and the shitty thing is, she knows that. How can she not? He’s got to get out of this godforsaken bathroom.

“Well, good night,” he says, and turns the light off. He brushes past Gwen on the way out, and his hand grazes a smooth, tan, muscled thigh. What he wouldn’t give to touch the rest of her that way. Oh, man, he has to see Sara, and as soon as possible. This is bad.

“Good night,” Gwen calls after him. He knows she’s still smiling. This is an evil game she’s playing, and he’s playing it right along with her.

****

Gwen wakes up with a splitting headache. Oh, no, what did she do last night? She knows perfectly well what she did. The detachment she was trying so hard to practice had quickly unraveled, and without even knowing it, she (or her subconscious) spent the whole night trying to seduce Blake. First, she talked to Jack for way longer than she even wanted to at the party, just to maybe make Blake jealous. Which worked. And then she _may_ have taken most of her clothes off before asking him for a toothbrush while she flirted with him mercilessly. Yes, she’s terrible and evil, but… she had fun, too. She still has _it._ After all these years, at 46 years old, she still has it.

Not to mention, Blake has _it,_ too, which honestly kind of surprises her. He looked nice and tasty in those boxers. His chest hair is so attractive to Gwen, which also shocks her, seeing as Gavin doesn’t have any and she didn’t know that’s what she’s attracted to. Blake has a lovely body that Gwen would like to snuggle, and well, other things. Many other things. 

For the hundredth time in a few days, Gwen has to remind herself to just chill the hell out. He has a girlfriend. Gwen doesn’t need a boyfriend. This is never going to happen, and that’s okay. But a little healthy fantasizing never hurt anyone, she thinks. Which… is probably what Gavin used to think before he crossed line after line in his marriage. Gwen is not a homewrecker. She’s _not._ So she gives herself a pep talk on the plane to Oklahoma. This is just a crush, she’ll get over it, she only has to deal with it for one more month. And then she and Blake will have no reason to talk anymore, and she can get over this. Yep, that’s all. Just a crush.

When the plane lands in Oklahoma, and after they’ve gotten all Gwen’s luggage and put it in the car, Blake sighs and says, “I’m gonna have dinner with Sara now. She wants you to come with us.”

“What? Why?” Gwen would have assumed Sara wanted Blake all to herself for at least the rest of the night, before he and Gwen had to make the rounds at all his favorite places in Tishomingo.

“Don’t ask me,” Blake says, shrugging. “If I had to guess, she’s still wondering about you--about us--and wants to make sure you know she’s still here.”

Gwen frowns, although she understands completely. Gwen sometimes invited the women she suspected Gavin was cheating with to have dinner with her. She never worried about them again after that. “Alrighty then… let’s go to dinner.”

They go to Blake’s favorite Mexican food restaurant to meet Sara. She smiles hugely when she sees Blake and Gwen walk in together. Gwen feels terrible about everything she’s done to seduce Sara’s boyfriend. She looks away as Sara and Blake embrace. 

“Hey, guys! Sit down, I ordered some queso.”

“Oh, good,” Gwen says, even though she has never had any urge to eat melted cheese on a chip.

“So tell me about what’s been going on since I last saw you, Gwen!” Sara asks excitedly. Gwen senses something is wrong here, very wrong. Sara’s voice is all strange. She’s trying too hard.

“You know, the usual. Just putting the finishing touches on my album, working on the show, spending time with the kids,” she says. 

“Right! All those handsome boys you have. I hope Blake and I can have some cute kids someday, too,” she says, smiling at Blake, who is also looking at her like something is way off.

“That’ll be nice, darlin’,” Blake says. “Real nice.” 

She nods. They all order, and continue with the uncomfortable small talk.

“So tell me about the engagement party,” Sara says. “I saw the pics of the photo booth. You guys looked so cute together!”

And suddenly everything makes sense. Sara saw them being cozy in the photo booth, and she’s not happy about it. See, Gwen can work with this. She looks over at Blake and tries to communicate this to him with her eyes. He seems to get it.

“Oh, that was no big deal. Raelynn was in there being bossy about it. She was all, ‘Blake, put your arms around Gwen,” and stuff like that. We were so uncomfortable, oh-em-gee! I mostly spent the night talking to Josh’s friend Jack. I got his number. I may be visiting Nashville again pretty soon!” She giggles like a schoolgirl. Anything to make Sara feel like she wasn’t trying to steal her man.

“Oh, that’s great,” Sara says, looking relieved. Blake nods. The less he talks, the better, he thinks. “I’m glad you found a nice guy. You deserve one!”

“Thanks… so do you,” Gwen says, and grins at Blake, trying to show Sara that she found one. 

The three of them are silent as they eat. Blake has a burrito and a few beers, Gwen has a salad, Sara has a taco. Gwen wants to be literally anywhere else in the entire world then sitting here at this restaurant. 

When they’re finally, _finally_ done eating, they all walk outside. Gwen heads to her rental car to go back to her motel. Blake wanted her to stay at his house, but they agreed it would be too weird for Sara. 

“See you tomorrow,” she tells Blake. “We have a lot of shopping to do.”

“Oh, yes. I can’t wait to visit the dollar store. We’ll save Wal-Mart for last, it’ll be the best part of the day.”

“See you then,” Gwen says. Before she has a chance to open her door, Blake does it for her. She thanks him and gets in the car. Before Gwen drives away, she does not miss the look on Sara’s face. Blake is going to have a long night ahead of him, she thinks. And a small--well, big, let’s be honest--part of her hopes it doesn’t end well.

****

Sara drives Blake back to her house, where they’re spending the night. She talks his ear off the whole ten minutes it takes to get there, about how much she’s missed him, how she made his favorite dessert, how she can’t wait until Christmas to open all their presents. He just nods, and tries to stay in the moment. But he’s failing. He’s failing so much.

When they get to the house, Blake follows her inside. As soon as she closes the door, he thinks she’s going to kiss him, but instead she says, “We need to talk.”

Blake says, “Aw, come on, Sara, it’s been a long day and I just want to get to sleepin’. Can we talk about it in the mornin’?”

“No. We can’t.” And Blake knows she’s serious.

“Okay. Well, let’s sit down.”

They sit down at the kitchen table and Blake waits patiently for Sara to begin.

She takes a long gulp of water and says, “This isn’t working, Blake. And don’t try to disagree, because I can see it in your eyes. You know it’s not.”

Blake doesn’t try to disagree. In fact, he’s glad she brought it up first. “You’re right. I’m not bein’ fair to you. You deserve more of my attention and I’m sorry it’s been like this the last couple of months. It should get easier after January, though.”

Sara doesn’t look impressed. “What did I tell you, Blake? I had to wait for Kaynette, then Miranda, and I’m not going to wait again. I deserve more than this! I don’t want to wait for you anymore, Blake. Not now, not until January, not until next summer, next year… I’m not doing it again.”

Blake wants so badly to tell her that he never wanted her to wait for him. He never asked her to. So why should he feel guilty that he did? “So what do you want me to do, exactly?”

“What do you think I want you to do, Blake?”

“Well, if I had to guess, I think you want me to stop goin’ places with Gwen, to stop this fake relationship business.”

“Ah, you’re so smart! So can you do that for me?” Sara looks at him intently.

Blake knows what she’s asking isn’t irrational. He knows he should say yes and call Amanda and Matthew right now to put an end to this. It’s time, anyway. They’ve already accomplished what they set out to do, so it’s unnecessary to keep going.

Except… Blake doesn’t _want_ to. He at least doesn’t want to stop seeing Gwen. But how can he say that to Sara? Sara, whose heart he broke as a teenager; Sara, who he was supposed to have a second chance with… how can he do that again?

Sara sees that he’s having trouble making a decision. “Okay, maybe that’s too harsh. If you can tell me right now that you don’t have feelings for Gwen, that you are 100% ready to settle down with me and adopt babies and take me on trips around the world, then I can maybe agree to keep this going until January. But you have to say the words out loud and you have to look me in the eye.”

Blake can’t look her in the eye. And he can’t say those words. And they both knew from the second he got off the plane today that it was going to go down like this.

Sara chuckles bitterly. “You know, after I saw those pictures from the photo booth, I realized that this isn’t a game to you anymore. I mean, I can deal with that because maybe it’s just a little crush and you’ll get over it. But when you opened the car door for her--something you have _never_ done for me--I knew it was all over. So let’s stop this charade so you can go be with the woman you really love.”

 _Love._ Yes, that’s right--it’s finally occurring to Blake that he _loves_ Gwen. And maybe, maybe it’s not too late. But he can’t just leave. Not yet.

“I’m sorry, Sara. I never meant for this to happen.” He really didn’t. Sara’s been there for him so many times through the years, and all he does is break her heart.

“Oh, you never _mean_ for it to happen, Blake. I’m sure you didn’t _mean_ to go to Nashville after I lost the baby, either. You are one selfish son of a bitch, you know that? I feel bad for Gwen, actually. As soon as she becomes inconvenient to you--and she will, because that’s just how you are--you’ll find some kind of excuse to leave her behind, too. And I won’t be here. This was your last stop, Blake. The last time.”

Blake nods. “I get that. You’re right, I am selfish. And I am a son of a bitch. But I will always love you. Please know that.”

Sara scoffs. “Whatever. I just realized I’ve wasted the best years of my life on you. Please… please just get the hell out of here, Blake. I don’t want to look at you for one more second.”

Blake wants to say something more, anything, because he hates that she hates him. But the need to get the hell out of there and find Gwen is more than he can bear. So he gets his things, and he leaves. Gwen’s motel is two miles down the road, and since his truck is two miles in the other direction, he walks. He walks and walks and walks. And when he gets to Gwen’s motel and knocks on her door, he’s a disgusting, sweaty mess. But he’s there. And Gwen knows why.

“Finally,” she says when she opens the door. She grabs him and brings him in her room, and before the door closes, they’re kissing, and kissing, and they will never stop kissing… because now they don’t have to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, friends. This is a bit of a mini-chapter because I need to do some adulting in the next couple of days and can't spend a lot of time writing. Don't you just hate that?! I promise the next chapter will make up for it.
> 
> Shout out to my new twitter friends whose support makes me happy. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for the feedback. I haven't responded but I feel it in my heart.
> 
> P.S. things get a little mature at the beginning of this chapter, if ya know what I mean.

It would be easy to say that the first thing that happens when Blake finds Gwen in her motel room is that they _don't_ immediately start desperately kissing like the world might end if they ever stop. It would be easy to say that instead of falling into bed together and continuing the rhythmic dance they've been doing around each other for months, that they sit together and talk rationally about the future; about how Blake _just_ broke up with someone he really did love once upon a time, and how they are adults and can wait to devour each other for at least, oh, 24 hours.

It would be easy to say that... but it's not true.

When the door opens and Gwen greets him with a "Finally," Blake notices she's wearing the exact same thing she was the night before--a tiny tank top and little panties, accentuating her sexy body that Blake hasn't been able to stop thinking about for months now. Gwen's right-- _finally_ he can act on his attraction. So before they can say anything else, they are kissing. So much kissing. These kisses are not like the ones they've exchanged before--these are _real_ kisses. The kind you know you're never going to forget--or ever _want_ to forget. 

They don't talk. No words are needed now--they both know what they want, and what the other wants. After a sufficient amount of kissing, the ripping off of clothes begins. Blake is usually a little shy about his body, but he doesn't protest as Gwen tears his clothes off hungrily and kisses his neck and his chest like he's her last chance of survival on this dying planet.

When he gets a chance, he pins Gwen against the door, which she seems to appreciate because she moans and has a huge, sexy grin on her beautiful face, and kisses her hard and furiously while he effortlessly unhooks her bra, and takes her little tank top off with it. He stares gratefully at her breasts, because they are so much better than he even imagined. He gently takes them into his mouth and enjoys the moaning that this causes. 

Soon enough, they are both equally unclothed, and the only noises that can be heard are moaning, groaning, little whispers, and more moaning. Both of them had forgotten what this feels like--to be totally wanted by someone else, with no strings attached, no compromises to be made, no arguments to solve. It's just the two of them expressing their desperation for each other, and it's so. damn. good. Soon enough, Blake finds that Gwen likes him on top of her, which, well, Miranda hated. Gwen is vocal and likes using her nails and biting his shoulder, and he's _definitely_ not used to that.

On the other hand, Gwen finds Blake kissing her neck and licking her ear to be absolutely intoxicating. It had gotten so mechanical with Gavin over the last few years--it's a miracle, literally, that Apollo was even conceived. But the way Blake takes his time to make sure she feels good, the way he looks into her eyes to make sure she's looking back, the way they both are in perfect sync together... she regrets every moment she could have been spending making love to this man that seems to already know her body better than she knows it herself.

Afterwards, they don't know what to say or what to do. They just lay wrapped in each other's arms, thinking about what just happened, and how it's changed absolutely everything.

"I don't know what to say about that, really... but I do know we have to get out of this motel room before we catch rabies," Blake says.

"Yes, please... get me out of here," Gwen says anxiously. So he helps her pack her bags, they quickly stop and check out, and they leave as fast as possible. Blake's truck is still at Sara's, unfortunately, so Gwen drives, with Blake's instructions, back to his place. He keeps a hand on her knee the whole time, and she catches him staring at her adorably more than once.

When they get back to Blake's house, all the clothing comes off once again and they fall into his big, beautiful bed. There is more kissing, but they're both too exhausted to do anything else--including talk about what just happened.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," Gwen says when they're both about to fall asleep.

Blake turns over to face her and smiles gratefully. "Good. 'Cause tonight, all I want to do is hold you."

And that's exactly what he does as they fall asleep together for the first time.

****

But when they wake up to the sun shining through the window, the birds singing a lovely song, and the two of them looking disheveled and a little bit nervous, there is no talking. For round number two, they take their time. It's less desperate and more sensual. Hands and fingers and lips and tongues, they all go exploring. It's a learning process to figure out what they both like, and what they never knew they liked.

Eventually, they have to stop, if not just to get some liquids and foods into their body to prepare for round three later in the day. 

After taking a shower (together, of course, which is a fascinating experience), Gwen puts on a robe she finds in the closet--trying not to think too much that it probably at some point belonged to Miranda--and follows Blake into the kitchen. He's making pancakes and eggs.

"I know this isn't the healthiest breakfast, but all I have in that refrigerator is a whole mess of meat," he says as he flips a pancake.

"Oh, I haven't had pancakes in so long. I always make them for the boys and never have any myself. But I think we just burned enough calories for a whole stack of them," Gwen says, and they grin at each other like idiots. "But, um, I don't eat eggs, so you don't have to make me any."

"Oh, I know. We've had lots of meals together over the last couple of months. I take notes. The eggs are for me. Those are for you," he says, pointing the bowl of granola, the cup of yogurt, and the fresh blueberries. "I had my mom bring them yesterday mornin' for you, in case you spent the night here."

Gwen can't help but be shocked by how absolutely observant and caring he can be. He didn't even know this was going to happen between them, but he still made sure to have food she can eat just in case she'd be there.

"Wow, that's... amazing, Blake. Thank you."

"Anything for my girl," he says, and then immediately looks embarrassed. "I mean... if I can call you that."

Gwen laughs, and comes over to give him a kiss on the cheek. He's so cute. "Yes. You can call me that. I like being your girl."

Blake's smile is the most genuine thing Gwen has ever seen. She can get used to this so easily, and that's somewhat scary to her.

"Hey, this reminds me of when we were in your kitchen and you tried makin' me a steak," Blake said. "You were kinda clueless back then, huh?"

Gwen knows he's kidding, so she swats him with her napkin. "I've never made steak in my life! I'm glad you figured out how to use the grill."

It was just four short months ago, but they've both obviously come so far since then. 

"God, that feels like another lifetime ago," Gwen says. "Can you believe all we had to go through to get to this point?"

"I don't. I can't," Blake says, shaking his head. "All I know is, I'm glad we're here now."

"Me, too. Oh, my god, me, too. Hey, I hope Sara isn't too upset with you..."

Blake laughs. "To say she's upset would be an understatement. My phone's been blowin' up all morning with her angry texts. I do feel like an asshole, but I think she'll be okay. I'm sending her two first class tickets to Paris, and sometimes I wonder if that's all she really wanted from me, anyway."

Blake actually knows that's not the only thing Sara wanted from him, because they spent many hours in the past talking about their future and how happy they were going to be together. It hurts a little to know that will never happen, but one look into Gwen's eyes and he knows he made the right decision. 

Gwen has a few bites of her pancakes and drinks some water, and then finally blurts out what she's been wanting to say all morning.

"Blake... I want to be with you. I want a real relationship. With me, you can't do anything halfway. Because I have three boys who come along on any ride with me, and I can't let them get attached to anyone if it's not going to be the real thing. I know that's a lot to handle and I'm sorry for just throwing it at you so soon." She exhales, and looks at him hopefully.

Blake gets up from his chair and comes around to put his arms around her waist from behind her. 

"It may be too early to say this, or maybe not, but I am all in. I already know and love your boys, and I would never do anything to hurt them, or you. I realize that may be a little hard to believe, seein' that I've already been married and divorced twice and just basically screwed over the girl who was supposedly my high school sweetheart, but this is different. I know it is. And I want it to be." Blake also exhales when he's done with this speech. 

Gwen turns around and looks into his blue eyes, which she is already deeply in love with, unfortunately. She could get lost in them so easily.

"Okay. Okay, good. Let's do this, then. Maybe it's crazy, but maybe it's not. We owe it to ourselves, right?"

Blake nods. They kiss once again, to seal the deal. Blake enjoys that Gwen's lips taste like syrup. 

After breakfast, Gwen gets on her phone and makes sure everything back in L.A. is taken care of and that Gavin still has the boys until Christmas Eve. She calls Todd and tells him the abbreviated version of the story, and he laughs. 

“That is crazy, Gwen. But you two are more alike than you think. I have a good feeling about this. Jen, too.”

Gwen smiles and says, “Thank you. We’ll see you in a few days.”

" _We_ already, huh?"

"Yep," Gwen says. "Already."

“Awesome. We'll see you for Christmas, then. And then football!” Todd says enthusiastically. 

“Yes… and then football. I can’t wait,” Gwen says, and she actually really means it.

When she’s done with all her phone calls, Gwen returns to bed, where Blake happens to be waiting for her. Because although they have an unofficial plan to go out and about into the world of Tishomingo, that plan is quickly forgotten as they fall back in bed once again. They know it won’t always be like this--of course it won’t always be like this; they’re both busy adults, Gwen has the boys, and the next year is shaping up to be one of the most important of their lives. But right now, nobody needs them, and they need only each other. So they spend most of the day in bed, kissing, making love, and watching funny movies on Blake’s ridiculously huge TV. 

At some point during the afternoon, Blake says, “Hey, you know, it’s still hunting season. The sun is going to set soon. Would you mind terribly if I went out for a few hours with my bow?”

Gwen giggles. “Sure, but I want to go with you, Cowboy.”

Blake looks at her funny. “Gwen, you don’t have to. I know you probably don’t really approve of my hunting lifestyle and all.”

“No, not really, but I don’t want to be apart from you right now, either. My dad used to hunt; I respect the need for managing the deer population, but what I don’t get is trophy hunting. Like, at all.”

Blake gets it, but he doesn’t want to open _that_ can of worms at the moment. “Well, we’re not huntin’ elephants today, just deer. So yeah, this’ll be fun. I’ll see if I can dig up some camo for you to wear.”

“I already have some,” Gwen says proudly. “I bought it at the Army Navy store in L.A. Just in case we wanted to get some pics of me pretending to hunt with you or whatever.”

Blake laughs. “Sounds like a good plan, darlin’. If we can somehow get ourselves out of this bed, that is.” 

Gwen groans. “Do we have to?”

“Well, there aren’t any deer roamin’ around the kitchen, so, yeah, we do. But there’s always tonight.”

While she pictures everything that can happen “tonight,” Gwen begrudgingly gets out of bed to find her suitcases. Blake knows exactly where his camo is, of course, and he puts it on, looking like a giddy school boy. Gwen does not want to shoot a deer--hell, she hates even killing insects--but she _needs_ to know more about everything Blake likes to do. This is his heritage; this is how he grew up, and she wants to experience it with him. She wants to experience it all with him.

So this is how they find themselves in a tree an hour later, the temperature cooling down, the sun setting into a beautiful orange and blue velvet haze in the sky. Gwen has no idea what’s going on, but she loves watching Blake do his thing. He has his bow out, and he’s using his binoculars to look for deer. He sees a few wander by, but they’re either not close enough or not big enough. Gwen asks him to explain that to her, and he does. She still doesn’t know what the hell he’s saying, but… she sure does love listening to him talk. 

At a certain point in that tree, Blake has given up trying to find anything. It’s almost completely dark. And all he wants to do is kiss Gwen. So many kisses. Gwen loves it.

“Well, I’ve never done it in a tree before,” Gwen says jokingly. 

“You’re not missin’ much,” Blake says, trying to look innocent.

“What--don’t tell me you and Miranda did it in the middle of a hunting trip!”

Blake shrugs. “Hey, it wasn’t _always_ bad. There were a few years there when she actually liked hunting and doin’ stuff I enjoy. It took a long time for things to suck as much as they did by the end.”

Gwen nods. “I know the feeling. I was so attracted to Gavin once upon a time. We used to have so much fun. Of course there were red flags, but all I could see was the fairy tale.”

They’re both quiet for a moment. Blake puts his arm around her and she leans into him.

“We’re not going to be like that,” Blake finally says. “We’re older now. We know what we want. And it’s not going to be like that.”

Gwen wants to believe him so badly. “Are you sure?”

“No… no, I’m not sure. I can’t make you any promises yet, because this thing between us is just gettin’ started. But I already know that I want to do everything in my power to make you and your boys happy.”

Gwen loves-- _loves_ \--that he is already including her kids in his future. In _their_ future. Suddenly, she feels like a very lucky woman. Blake is not like any other man she’s ever known. She’s definitely in trouble now.

Before Gwen can reply, Blake is showering her face in kisses. She giggles. “Hey, what if I get this on my phone? I like to give my twitter followers little heart attacks sometimes.”

“Yes! Let’s do it. I love giving my haters something to talk about for a while.”

So Gwen takes the three second video and posts it on Twitter. Later, after they’ve climbed down the tree and gone back to the house, after they’ve shed their camo and made it straight back to the bed they were so hesitant in leaving, they look at Gwen’s replies and laugh and laugh and laugh. A lot of people are supportive. Some people aren’t. Whatever the case, Gwen is just happy to be talked about again. It looks like this whole PR-thing worked out--not just for her career, but also for the man she is quickly and desperately falling head over heels in love with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly! I am soooo soo soo soo soo sorry this took so long. I was studying for a test (the Texas Real Estate License Exam, if you're the least bit curious) and I passed the test so now I can write more because that's over with, yay!! Thank you so much for your feedback and Kudos, they make my heart happy. Just to make up for my delay, here is the biggest chapter yet. I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Also, because it is AU and because I just couldn't make it work the way I wanted it to any other way, for purposes of this story, Gwen goes to Japan a week before she actually went in real life. Thank you and rock on.

December and January almost go by in a blur because Gwen is so amazingly blissful. It seems like both she and Blake are walking around in a daze most of the time, hardly believing how lucky and happy they are together. Gwen wants time to stop so she can live in this moment for as long as possible. Even if it's kind of irrational, Gwen feels like fate is paying her back for the last five terrible years of her crappy marriage.

A few days after Christmas (which they don’t spend together; Gwen has the boys and Blake likes to spend the day with his mother), Blake and Gwen go to an Arizona Cardinals game. The tickets were a gift from the coach of the team, and Blake is ecstatic to take Gwen with him. She knows this was an activity he used to love sharing with Miranda, so the fact that he wants Gwen there, too, is a big deal to her. Plus, with all the cameras and attention pointed at them, they are basically making their first public appearance as a couple together. It’s definitely nerve-wracking, but they have fun. And apparently they can’t keep their hands off of each other, which plenty of social media’s finest have no problem commenting on. But Gwen doesn’t care. She’s finally with the right person. She’s finally where she’s supposed to be. And she'd scream about it from the rooftops if she could get away with it.

A day or two later, Gwen and Blake are back in California, and she shows him around Anaheim, her hometown, just as he showed her around Tishomingo. She takes him to all her favorite places, and everyone they encounter gets a kick out of how different they are--even the people who don’t recognize them. Blake sticks out like a sore thumb in his camo jacket, hat, and blue jeans, while Gwen wears her OC-style clothes; literally the kinds of things she wore in high school that still fit her. That’s the thing about them, though--they’re so different when it comes to their clothes and music and food, but when it comes to feelings, emotions, morals, and most of all… love, they're exactly the same. Neither of them have said it out loud yet, but it’s really quite obvious. They are in love with each other, and sooner or later they’re going to have to deal with it like adults.

Somehow they manage to evade paparazzi when they go back to Oklahoma for New Year’s Eve. It’s just the two of them, and although Gwen misses her babies all the time when she can’t be with them, she is thankful to have a little more alone time with Blake. 

They are sitting in front of the fire, enjoying a bottle of wine, Betty laying down on a blanket within petting distance. They’re warm, in more ways than one. Gwen can’t imagine this night being any better; there’s literally no place in the world she’d rather be. Last year on New Year’s, she was all alone. Jen and Todd and many of her friends, knowing that Gavin was off touring again or whatever the hell he was doing, extended an invitation to go to a party with them, but she wasn’t in the mood. Instead, she watched the Sex and the City movie alone and got drunk off of cheap beer, wondering if her life was ever going to change. She prayed that the situation with Gavin would be resolved somehow, some way, because she simply couldn't go on living like this. Their constant fighting was taking a toll on everything Gwen held dear to her life. Something had to give. And now, a year later, she was with Blake. The man who makes her feel so good, she almost feels like she doesn’t deserve it. 

“I’m so happy,” Gwen says, looking into Blake’s ocean blue eyes. “I didn’t know it was possible to be _this_ happy.” 

Blake smiles. “Oh, yeah? The California girl digs little ol’ Tishomingo?”

“I _love_ Oklahoma!” Gwen says. “I can’t wait to bring the boys here. I just know they’ll have the time of their lives.”

“That would be amazin',” Blake says. Gwen appreciates how happy he looks that she said this. “I bought the property with kids in mind, actually. I had a place like this growin’ up--not as big, of course--and I know it shaped me as a person.”

Gwen takes this all in. They haven’t talked about Miranda all that much, but now she’s curious.

“So… you want kids?” Gwen asks carefully. 

“Well… yeah,” Blake says, nodding. “I want kids. I want kids running around this place 24/7. I want to teach them how to fish and shoot BB guns and slide in the mud after a storm and to appreciate the true beauty of this state. I want all of that.”

Gwen smiles. “Well, you know, you’ll have three boys very anxious to do just that if… if you want them to, of course.” This is kind of a loaded thing to say and they both know it, but Gwen is still quite interested in his response.

Blake actually looks a little offended. “Gwen… of course I want that. I know King would love Betty since he’s such a dog lover. Zuma can run and jump around and get all his energy out in the woods out here. And we can teach Apollo so much as he grows up here. That little guy has the best smile, and I want to give him a reason to every day.”

Gwen can’t stop a few tears from falling down her face. How is he so perfect? Had she known this from the beginning when she picked him to participate in this public relations crap? If so, why didn’t she just… ask him on a date or something? Everything was starting to make sense, yet become a hundred times more complicated all at once.

“That’s amazing,” Gwen manages to say. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you,” Gwen says, and they share a long, passionate kiss that definitely will turn into something else when it’s time for bed.

There’s still an elephant in the room, though.

“So… did you just not have an opportunity to have kids before, or is wanting them a new revelation for you?” Gwen asks.

Blake doesn’t answer right away. Gwen knows it might be an uncomfortable question, but she doesn’t want any secrets between them. She’s already told him all the basics of her divorce and what Gavin was up to during their marriage.

“I’ve wanted them almost since the day Miranda and I got married,” Blake finally answers. “I wanted to be a dad right away. But she has always been so focused on her career that it wasn’t as important to her. I respected that for a while, but when I started askin’ her about it a few years later, she still didn’t want any. I truly think she never wants to have a kid--well, at least not with me.” 

Blake doesn’t look happy about it, and Gwen can't blame him. One of the reasons why she fell in love with Gavin so quickly is because she was practically desperate to start having babies as soon as possible, and it almost didn’t matter who the father was. If Gavin didn’t want to be a dad, Gwen would have found someone else. She’s relieved that now, as a 46 year old woman who has already had all her babies, she can take the time to find someone more suitable for her, instead of being so singularly focused on who her baby daddy will be.

Gwen puts her hand on Blake’s arm. “I’m sorry it worked out that way. But not that sorry because we’re here now, in front of this fireplace, with each other.”

“I know,” Blake says. “And thank God for that. But I can’t believe I had to put up with all the PR bullshit to get here, though.”

“Well, that’s over. We don’t have to worry about that anymore,” Gwen says. But here’s the problem--she’s actually not sure about that. There could be problems with the contract situation. Big problems. But she’s not going to worry about that just yet. 

They both sit silently for a minute, drinking their wine and looking into each other’s eyes, which is not just a cliche in their case. However, Gwen knows she’s about to blurt something out and she can’t stop it.

“What if you still had the opportunity to have a child of your own?” She can’t help herself--she has to know. “If not naturally, then maybe adopting?”

Blake looks at her adoringly. “I’m not saying that’s the most important factor for me in a relationship, but I would love to give it a try. In the near future.”

“The near future?” Gwen asks.

“Darlin’... I realize this just got started, but I know somethin’ for sure. I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to be your kids’ step daddy, and havin’ a kid of my own sure would be nice, too. So yes, the near future. Does that scare you?”

God, this man is always surprising her in the best way possible.

“No,” Gwen says simply. She’s ready. It’s time for a new beginning. “Also, I love you, too.” They grin at each other like fools in love.

“Good,” Blake says. They kiss again, and now it’s time to watch the ball drop and then… well, the opportunities are endless.

****

Gwen and Blake don’t get to spend a lot of time together in January--Gwen is working hard in the studio in L.A. because she’s had a sudden burst of inspiration, and Blake’s in _his_ studio in Nashville, but one of the things they get to do together has to be kept a secret for a while. Gwen is Blake’s adviser for the next season of the Voice. Gwen loves-- _loves_ \--working with Blake, and especially because she has a certain amount of knowledge now that she’s been on the show twice.

It’s very hard to keep their hands off of each other while they’re taping the battle rounds, but they do their best. A certain amount of flirting happens anyway because neither of them can help it. They both talk to the producers about her coming back for season 11, but they seem to have something else in mind--Miley Cyrus. Blake wants to fight the producers on this--he likes Miley and all but that's ridiculous. Gwen assures him that it's okay; she wants to tour a little in the fall, anyway. It would have been fun to spend so much time together every week, but they'll find a different way.

It’s during Blake's hairdresser Amanda’s wedding that Gwen truly realizes how in love with Blake she really is. He looks so handsome in his suit--one of the first times she’s seen him in something other than blue jeans for a formal event--and he’s so devoted to her at every moment. When he’s not by her side with his hand around her waist, he’s across the room occasionally glancing at her to make sure she’s okay. He’s constantly refilling her drink and bringing her little bites of food. Not for the first time, Gwen is fascinated by how he’s the complete opposite of Gavin. They hardly ever went to parties together after the first few years of their marriage, and when they did, Gavin would either find a friend and talk to them all night, or hide in the corner and play on his phone or just be broody in general. It became a real problem after a while, and Gwen just stopped taking him to parties. Blake is literally everything she never knew she needed.

At the reception, they dance together to every song. Kelly joins them sometimes during the fast songs, but she can’t get too crazy because her pregnant belly is almost as big as a house. When “At Last” starts playing, Gwen and Blake dance so close together, they’re almost sharing the same breath. And later, when Amanda throws the bouquet, all the women bolt so that Gwen is the only one nearby to catch it, which she does not so gracefully. Gwen laughs and puts up with all the teasing, but secretly she kind of hopes it's a good omen. Marrying Blake Shelton wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Gwen is happy. She’s happy, and she’s nervous because she knows “this”--this relationship, this love, this happiness--won’t last. At least not in its current incarnation. And she needs to tell Blake but she can’t. So instead, she dances with him, looks in his eyes, whispers in his ear and throws her head back to laugh when he tells her dumb jokes, all the while praying that eventually he’ll forgive her.

****

It doesn’t take long for Blake to notice a disturbing pattern when he and Gwen sleep together. She always takes her make-up off right before she goes to sleep, and when she wakes up, she practically sprints out of bed before she even lets him touch her. For once, he’d like to hold her before they have to get up and start their day, or have her fall asleep in his arms after making love. But Gwen never lets that happen.

After a few weeks of this, Blake wants to know why. He _has_ to know why. So when the alarm goes off (both of them like to sleep in whenever possible, but Gwen’s been trying to finish her album and is spending long days at the studio), he wakes up with a start, right before Gwen hops out of bed and hauls ass to the bathroom.

“Hey, lady. Wait a minute,” he says, and grabs her hand.

“Just a second,” Gwen says, and although she’s not facing him, he can tell she’s annoyed. But this is not a fight he’s ready to give up on yet.

“Please… don’t run off to the bathroom yet,” Blake says softly. “Lay here with me a while. I want to hold you.”

Usually Gwen has no objection to this—in fact, most of the time, she can’t pry herself away from his arms.

“I have to go to the bathroom first, Blake. Please don’t make this an issue." 

Blake realizes he doesn’t know how to decipher the little cracks in her voice yet, but he recognizes desperation in someone’s voice when he hears it. This is a bit alarming to Blake, to say the least.

Blake lets go of her hand because he can’t stand to see her freak out like this. But when she comes back from the bathroom 15 minutes later looking like some kind of sophisticated goddess, he grabs her hand again. This time, Gwen is a bit calmer.

“Hey, darlin’? Can you do me a favor and tell me why you run to the bathroom as soon as you open your eyes in the mornin’? And why you get all dolled up while you're in there?"

Gwen laughs a little. “I just need to pee, that’s all. I have a tiny bladder.”

Blake knows she’s uncomfortable and wants to talk about literally anything else, but he won’t give up that easily.

“How come it takes you 15 minutes to pee? Do ya need to see a doctor for that?”

Gwen small smile has completely faded. She is not amused by Blake right now.

“I don’t want to tell you, Blake, to be honest. It’s… stupid.”

“I don’t care if it’s stupid, I want to know. We’re in this together now. We don’t have to keep things from each other. We’re more than that.”

Gwen’s voice is different when she finally says softly, “Fine. I...I don’t want you to see me without my make-up.”

 _Ah._ Blake’s starting to get the picture here.

“What?! I’ve seen you without your make-up before. You are beautiful, Gwen. With or without it. Don’t you know that?”

She shakes her head, and a few tears escape from her eyes. He is truly baffled by how this could be possible. How can she not know what a gorgeous woman she is?

Blake pulls her closer to him. She hides in his chest.

“I don’t know who told you that you need make-up all the time, although I’m startin’ to get a good idea. But I’ve seen you without it. And you are just as beautiful, if not even more. You don’t have to stop rushin’ off to do your make-up if it’s really that important to you, but wouldn’t you like it better if I just held you for a few more minutes first?”

Gwen is crying now. She nods while he wipes away the tears.

“That piece of shit that is your ex-husband can’t hurt you anymore, okay? He’s out of your life. And whatever he told you about your make-up or your clothes or whatever, that’s gone now, too. I love you in whatever you wear, as long as you’re comfortable, and as long as you’re happy. And by the way, you can get as big as a house if you wanted to, you’ll still be the most beautiful woman on earth to me.”

Gwen shakes her head. “That’s sweet, it really is, but it’s not the only reason why. You wouldn’t get it…”

“Maybe not, but I want to. Can you trust me enough to know that?”

She thinks about that for a moment. He can tell she’s debating whether or not to tell him. He waits patiently because she’s worth waiting for, always.

“You’re going to to think it’s dumb…”

“Let me be the judge of that,” Blake assures her. 

After taking a deep breath, Gwen says, “I know it’s stupid, but… you’re used to looking at someone 15 years younger than me without make-up. I’m not in my thirties, Blake. I can’t compare. I just can’t. There's a lot of changes that happen as a woman gets older.” She sighs, and Blake doesn’t know what to think. Frankly, he’s pretty damn frustrated at the moment. But he also feels great empathy and sadness for Gwen’s apparent self-esteem issue. Apparently age isn’t a factor in feeling comfortable with your body and your looks. He doesn’t get it, but he wants Gwen to know that she’s wrong.

“Hon, that is the furthest thing from my mind when I look at you. You aren’t Miranda--thank God--and it doesn’t matter a tiny bit to me that you’re older. You have wisdom and grace and beauty and maturity. And you’ve been teachin’ me some things I never learned from her, let me tell ya what.”

This actually makes Gwen laugh. Finally.

“So I realize it’s not going to be easy, but can you please let go of this idea that you have to be all dressed up with make-up on to be beautiful?”

Gwen stops crying and looks up at him. He kisses her deeply, even with runny mascara and her signature red lipstick. 

“I want to. I want to try--for both of us. And thank you… thank you, Blake. I needed to hear that. I’ll try, okay? I’ll try not to run away.”

“That’s all I ask. I want you to see what I see. You’re a rock star. You’re a bad ass mother. You’re an icon. You give so much to so many people. You’re beautiful, inside and out. Okay?”

Gwen nods, and they kiss again. It breaks his heart to know that she feels like this about herself, but now Blake has a new mission—to make Gwen feel like the amazing woman she is. He’ll spend his whole life trying if he has to.

****

At the end of January, Gwen meets with Matthew and Amanda, alone. Blake hasn't mentioned the fact that their PR relationship is meant to end soon; Gwen figures he just assumes it's not an issue anymore. But the fact is, Gwen signed a contract back in August before this all started. This is something that she has chosen not to share with Blake, and now she knows that time is up. She's at this meeting now to see if she has any other options.

"We realize the nature of your relationship has changed, and that's wonderful for you two," Amanda begins. "However, that was not the terms of the contract you signed. You must break up with him by the end of February, or you'll be in breach. You realize what that means for you, right?"

Gwen nods sadly. "That basically I would have to pay back all the money I've made from my singles and other assorted income I've earned in the last four months."

"That's correct," Matthew says. "So we need you to break it off before your single comes out. Obviously we didn't want this to happen, but those are the terms of the deal. You can get back together in a few months, after both of your albums come out and we've gotten some buzz on the 'heartbroken again' theme we had planned from the beginning."

"There's nothing I can do to get out of this?" Gwen asks hopefully.

"I'm sorry, but no. You can show it to your lawyer but the terms are pretty iron clad. We did this for _you_ , Gwen, remember? This was _your_ idea from the very beginning."

That's true, she thinks. It literally was her idea; one of many she and her management talked about for weeks. She picked Blake instead of the other men that were mentioned because they were friends; she never anticipated falling for him. But that's not entirely true. She had a crush on him basically from the first moment they met. When she found the sexts from the nanny on the iPad, after she threw it across the room and screamed Gavin's name in anger and pain, the next thing she thought of was, "Too bad Blake is still married." When she heard about his divorce, she couldn't believe they were both single at the same time. So why didn't she just, you know... ask him out instead of come up with this ridiculous PR plan? She's fucked it all up and now it's time to pay for it.

Maybe literally.

"What if I decide not to break up with him? What if I pay back the money?" Gwen asks. It would definitely suck to lose that cash; she made a good amount off the success of the singles, her new glasses line, her LAMB clothing, and other assorted things. She's obviously not hard up for cash or anything, but Gwen has a lot of expenses. Hair and make-up are not cheap. And eventually she has three boys to send to college. But she'll be fine. She'll be fine if she has to choose between money and someone whom very well may be the love of her life. She'll be broke and homeless if necessary.

Matthew clears his throat. "Well, yes, technically you can do that. But I don't know if you saw the part of the contract that says if you are in breach, not only do you lose the money, but the whole thing leaks to the press. And I mean everything."

Oh, god. Oh, no. How could she have let this happen? She's not so worried about the money, but the press? Lately, Blake can't stop talking about how much he hates the constant chatter about the two of them. He can't go to a grocery store without seeing a magazine with their faces on the cover; he barely watches TV anymore because of all the gossip shows reporting on them. Gwen constantly worries that it's going to be the eventual reason why they break up. She can't do this to him. It would break him. And yes, it would be embarrassing to her, as well, and she doesn't want to put the kids through any more than she already has. But Blake would never forgive her if she let this leak. This is a nightmare. Oh, how could she have so massively screwed this all up?

Gwen is on the verge of tears, and she'll afraid she'll never stop crying if she starts. “Why? Why is my management so determined for this to happen?”

“Because they have a plan for you, Gwen,” Matthew says. Gwen sees he’s starting to lose his patience. “And let me remind you _again_ that it was your idea in the first place.”

“It was one of many ideas! And this… this wasn’t supposed to happen,” she says, feeling like she’s about to have a breakdown in front of these people and that’s the last thing she wants.  
“Things change. I can't believe..." She can't even finish her thought.

“We get it. We’re sensitive to your plight, but it’s not personal. It’s business. So break up with him in the next two weeks or there’s going to be trouble.”

Well, there it is. Cut and dry. Black and white. Gwen was so lost for so long, and Blake found her. And now she has to give it all up because of a fucking contract she signed. Brilliant. 

Gwen leaves the meeting and manages to drive all the way home before opening her door and collapsing on the living room sofa in tears. What the hell is she going to do now? She has to tell Blake what's going on. He'll know what to do--he always knows what to do. They'll figure it out together, and if they have to pretend to break up for a few months and see each other on the down low, that'll be fine. They can "get back together" later and the whole thing will be forgotten.

But before she even realizes it, Gwen starts erasing months of progress and finds herself back in a self-esteem black hole, where she existed during those terrible years of doubting herself and being suspicious of her husband. She starts thinking things like... Blake will never believe her if she tells him what's going on. Maybe he'll even think she's been lying about her love for him just so she can get as much PR and money out of their relationship as possible. Or even worse, he'll lose all respect for her when he learns Gwen signed a contract. 

This all makes sense to her. Falling in love with Blake and being in a comfortable relationship with equal footing--that is amazing, but Gwen doesn't really know how to do that. Conflict, betrayal, sadness, doubt-- _that's_ what she's good at, what defines her role. This is the place she knows so well. It's truly fascinating how quickly Gwen can talk herself into believing that she doesn't deserve Blake.

 _That's it,_ Gwen thinks. She has to find a way to break up with Blake so he'll never suspect the truth. If nothing else, she _has_ to protect him from the media. This could be a career-ruiner for him, and she doesn't want to see that happen to Blake. He's too good. Too decent. 

Gwen takes a few sleeping pills and gets under the covers. She thinks about letting go of the best thing that's ever happened to her while she cries herself to sleep.

****

It’s yet another rehearsal for Gwen’s live music video, and Gwen is trying her hardest to focus on the skating part. She’s fallen down a few times and it’s kind of funny now, but when it happens live, she’s going to look like a freaking idiot on national television.

They go through the whole thing successfully and Sophie has a few ideas of things to do differently. Gwen is listening, she really is, but she’s also looking across the room at Blake, who is deep in discussion with members of the crew. He looks up and meets her eyes and smiles. He has the best smile. The best dimples. The best everything. 

But… he also hates L.A. while Gwen can’t imagine living anywhere else. He isn’t a vegetarian, and while that hasn’t really been a problem yet, Gwen knows it will be in the future. When he stays over at her house, he leaves his towels all over the floor in the bathroom. He randomly hums eighties songs all the time, which is cute and all but sometimes Gwen wants, like, two consecutive minutes of silence.

This is what she does. When she starts thinking about how Blake is a kind, wonderful, caring, amazing man, she makes herself take stock of all his faults. This break-up is going to happen--she got an email just this morning about how she has to move it along now--and hopefully that will make it easier. At least that’s what she tries to tell herself.

“Gwen? Are you even paying attention to me right now?” Sophie asks. Before Gwen can answer, Sophie turns around to see what Gwen’s looking at.

“Ah. I guess we know where your mind is right now,” Sophie says, grinning. She, like many of the people in Gwen’s life, is just happy that Gwen got rid of Gavin, but she’s also ecstatic that Blake is such an impossibly amazing fit for her. Just another person Gwen is going to disappoint.

“Go ahead and get out of here, we’re done for the day. I’ll email you the changes.”

“Thanks, Soph. See you later. Thanks for everything.”

Gwen makes her way over to Blake and when she gets near him, he grabs her hand and pulls her closer. He always wants to touch her, and she always wants him to touch her. She craves his touch. It’s a problem.

Gwen drives them back to her house after the rehearsal. She’s quiet on the way and Blake doesn’t question it, which she appreciates. They just listen to the country music station and don’t talk. Gwen doesn’t even smile when “Gonna” comes on the radio, and that’s one of her favorite Blake songs. 

When they get home, Gwen doesn’t know what to do or say. She’s just so sad. Blake obviously knows something is wrong and he wants to let her tell him on his own, but she’s just not going to.

Gwen goes to the bathroom and takes off her make-up and changes into shorts and an old No Doubt t-shirt. She’s finally getting more comfortable around Blake without her make-up. Ironic, huh?

She walks into the kitchen to see him making her a salad. She smiles gratefully; he’s always doing things like that for her. 

“So I can see you’re goin’ through something tonight, and I think I’ll just go ahead and go home and give you space. But I wanted to make you some food first because you’ve been workin’ so hard today.”

“Oh, thanks,” she says softly. “I think I do want to sleep alone tonight. I have a headache.”

“Well, here, let me rub your neck for you,” Blake says. He stops mid-salad to come up and walk behind her. 

“No, no, that’s okay. Why don’t you just go home? I’ll just take some Motrin or something.”

Blake frowns a bit. He's not used to Gwen wanting to be alone. “Okay… well, are we still on for tomorrow?” 

They’re supposed to go hiking, have a picnic, drink wine under the warm February California sun. Gwen’s been looking forward to it, but here she is, setting fire to their relationship instead. 

“I don’t think so… Jen and Todd invited me to a wine tasting in Napa and I think I’ll go to that,” Gwen replies. Now Blake looks totally taken aback. Although he’s not a big wine drinker, they did attend a wine tasting just a few weeks ago after Christmas and had a blast. To not invite him was like a slap in the face, she thinks. 

“Oh, they did? I didn’t hear anything about it,” Blake says, finally sounding annoyed.

“Well, sometimes you don’t hear about everything, Blake,” Gwen snaps. This is terrible and she hates everything, but it’s necessary. “Sometimes I need a little break. Sometimes this gets to be a bit too much for me.”

“What are you even talkin' about? Where is this comin' from?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just… maybe it’s _too_ good. Maybe we need to take a break. I need some time to think.”

Blake scoffs. “I can’t believe this! We’ve been together almost 24/7 for weeks, and _now_ you want to put on the brakes? What’s going on, Gwen? Is there someone else?”

Gwen wants to laugh from the absurdity of it all. Someone else?! Like there could ever be anyone she’d love more than Blake Shelton.

“No. I just--I guess I’m scared. I don’t know, I can’t explain it.” Gwen sounds like she just doesn’t care. It’s the voice she used with her parents when she was a rebellious teenager, and the voice she used when Gavin said he was going out “with the boys” again and not to wait up. Blake doesn’t deserve this voice.

“I gotta say, I thought we were past this point,” Blake says angrily. “You know, I have zero doubts about this relationship. I am all in. I have been ever since I knocked on your door at the motel. So it really kinda burns me up that you need ‘time to think’ or somethin’. I mean, come on, Gwen, tell me… do you not see a future for us anymore or what?”

He looks distraught, and Gwen wants nothing but to get closer to him, run her fingers through his curls, have him reach for her, enfold her in his arms, bringing her closer to his chest where she can hear his beating heart. But she’ll never have that again.

“I thought I did. I told you I did. But I don’t know anymore. I’m sorry.” Gwen knows she owes him much more of an explanation than this, but it’s too hard. She just wants him to leave so she can get on with the whole grieving process again. Because when she lost Gavin, she at least still had some hope left. She still thought there might be someone else out there for her after all. But now that she’s losing Blake, she might as well give up on love altogether. 

Blake shakes his head. “This is unbelievable. Do you even have any idea how much I love you? Of course you don’t, because you wouldn’t be doin’ this is if you did.”

“I love you, too, but--”

“No, you don’t. I’m goin’ to save you some time here, Gwen. I’m gonna leave. If you come to your senses tomorrow, please call me. I’ll be waiting. But I’m not going to wait forever,” Blake says. 

He looks at her one last time and she says nothing. So he shakes his head, kicks Zuma’s soccer ball that happens to be in the kitchen, and finds his way out of her house, slamming the door in the process.

Gwen isn’t even heartbroken or devastated. She’s numb. She’s a zombie. She’s broken. And she doesn’t call him the next day or the day after that. And the week after that, their break-up is leaked and it’s all over the news. Her new single, “Misery,” comes out the same week as Blake’s new single, “Came Here to Forget.” This is something they planned months ago, but now it just seems cruel. Even Gwen’s management admits they don’t know if the break-up has any bearing on sales, but both of the songs do well, and Blake’s even goes to number one on iTunes. She wants to call and congratulate him, but that’s not what they do anymore. 

Thankfully, Gwen has a trip to Japan to look forward to. She needs to get out. She needs to be in one of her most favorite places on earth. She needs Blake Shelton, but she can’t have him. So this is her life now, and she’s going to make the best of it.

****

Blake is angry. He is frustrated and devastated and heartbroken and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. It doesn’t even matter that his newest single goes to number one almost immediately--that’s good and all, but it’s not enough. He’s been like this for weeks, ever since the break-up, and instead of getting better, it’s getting a hell of a lot worse. His short-lived tour is almost over and he’s planning to take a month off and go to Oklahoma. He needs his family. He needs Betty and his mom and his tomatoes and his horses. But what he needs the most is to forget he ever loved Gwen Stefani.

After his last show in Nashville, Blake retreats to his house to drown himself in too many bottles of vodka. The whole place still has Miranda’s horrid sense of decorating all over it, but he doesn’t care. He just needs complete silence for at least a couple of days. In a week, he has to host the Kids Choice Awards, and all of Gwen’s kids and family will be there. He took the gig back in October because they talked about how much of a statement it made: country music’s bad boy doing a show for Gwen and her kids. It’s pretty much the last thing he wants to do, but it’s too late to cancel now.

He gets a text from Adam before going to bed. 

_Hey, are you ok? In Argentina now or else we could hang and talk.._

Blake can’t help but smile a little. Adam is a true friend. An idiot with a terrible sense of style, but a true friend nonetheless. He can’t wait for Adam to be a dad; it’s going to be so much fun to meet his kid and eventually have a new generation make fun of Adam with him.

 _I’m fine, thx for checking on me_. It’s a lie, and Adam probably knows it, too, but he’s on a whole different continent and there’s nothing he can do about it, anyway. So he sends the poop emoji and Blake sends a heart eyes emoji and that’s all for the night.

He’s tempted to text Gwen, but she just got to Japan earlier in the day. And second, he doesn’t want to. She broke his heart. She led him on for a month and made him believe he was getting a second chance before pulling the rug out from under both of them. He doesn’t want to think that Gwen’s love wasn’t real, but how could he not? She ended it so easily, like she hadn’t just told him days before that he might be the true love of her life. That she was thinking of having another baby with him, or at least adopting one together. Losing Miranda was hard enough, even with all the things she’d done, and now that Gwen is gone, too… what’s the point? What’s the point of trying to find anyone to spend the rest of your life with when that’s clearly impossible?

Blake manages to sleep for almost an entire 12 hours. It’s not often he gets to do that; he has so many obligations and places to be these days. But when he wakes up, he feels possibly even crappier than before he went to sleep. 

Blake stumbles into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and some cereal. He checks his tweets, which are the regular nonsense, and looks at his texts. He’s kind of been ignoring everyone for the last couple of days, so he has a lot of people concerned. There’s a text from Sara he missed last night.

_I can’t say I’m surprised about you and Gwen… and I would say I’m sorry but I’m not. You missed a great trip to Paris btw._

Well, he guesses he deserves that, really. He doesn’t respond because what’s the point? Sara got him through a terrible time in his life and he treated her like garbage. And he doesn't even regret it because at least he got more than a month to be with Gwen and experience what true love feels like. _Jesus, get a grip, man_ , Blake tells himself. This kind of thinking doesn't help anyone.

He looks through a few more texts and answers one or two. Then he comes across a text from the last person he expects. 

_I heard about u and Gwen and Im sorry. I know Im probably the last person u want to talk to. But Im here if you need to. I will always luv u. Luv, Miranda_

Blake stares at the text for a long time, letting a hundred different emotions cycle through him. Miranda knows what she did and why they are divorced, so it’s kind of ridiculous that she thinks she can nurse him through a broken heart. But then again, it’s Miranda. He loved her for so long and they went through so much. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea…

He puts his phone in his pocket and tries to forget about it. Texting Miranda would send him down a road he would regret, and he hasn’t had enough to drink yet for that to happen.

Next on Blake’s list is to go through his mail. He hasn’t checked his mail in Nashville for a while so there’s probably tons of bills and crap he’s forgotten about. There are, in fact, tons of bills and crap, and some magazines, and a couple of random letters from sneaky fans who figured out his Nashville address. 

When he comes across the big manila envelope, he has a feeling he knows what it is, but just in case, he takes a deep breath before opening it. It’s a copy of Gwen’s new album, like he suspected, with a yellow post-it note on it.

_I sent this to all your addresses because I didn’t want you to miss it. You’re my muse. I hope you like it._

Gwen must have written that pre-break-up, he realizes, but it still hits him in the chest like a dagger. The album isn’t out for another week or so and he hasn’t heard most of the songs yet. He knows “Misery,” her latest single, and “Make Me Like You” were supposedly written about him--or at least that’s what they all wanted the public to think. But he knows she wrote most of the songs in October, before they were official, so how could he be her muse? Yet again, he is confused.

Blake finds an old CD boom box in one of his hundreds of closets (that are still filled with clothes and shoes Miranda hasn’t deigned to move out yet) and drags it back into the kitchen. He sits on a stool and pours himself some vodka (vodka in the morning… takes him back to those long, hard days of his shitty marriage) and hits play on the boom box.

An hour later, his head is spinning, and not just because of the vodka. The things she’s singing about… they are so _fucking personal_! Things she’s said to him, things he’s said to her. Stuff they’ve done together. This album--the songs that aren’t about her anus-head of an ex-husband--is unmistakably about Blake. And not just the month they had together before she broke up with him, but clearly her feelings go back much further than that. What the hell is going on here? Blake is starting to put some pieces together, and he doesn’t know what to make of it all.

He thinks about calling Matthew or Amanda, but they won’t tell him the truth. Who will give him the details he needs? Who can he talk to right now?

Blake decides to call Todd. Maybe Todd doesn’t know the whole story, but he has to know _something._ Anything!

“Hey, man,” Blake says when Todd answers the phone. 

“Hey, Blake… are you okay? You sound weird,” Todd says.

“No, I don’t think I am okay. I just listened to Gwen’s album and I’m so goddamn confused.”

Todd exhales. “Oh, yeah, those are some pretty intense songs. Jen’s been listening nonstop since we got our album a week ago.”

“Look, I have to ask, man… I don’t even know what to ask. I guess my first question is, do you know when Gwen first, um, started havin’ feelings for, well, me?” Blake is starting to sound desperate, but he doesn’t care.

“Hey, I’m going to put Jen on. She’s about to kick my ass if I don’t, ha,” he says, sounding nervous himself. What is going on? Blake has to know.

Jen gets on the phone and says, “Blake. I’m so glad you called. I’ve been hoping you would.”

“Why is that?” Blake asks curiously.

“Because I’ve been so upset since you two broke up. There was no reason to, Blake! She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to!” 

Blake hears Todd say in the background, “Jen!” And Jen says, “Shut up! He needs to know!”

“I’m beggin’ you, Jen. Tell me what’s goin’ on before I explode.”

Jen is quiet for a moment. “I’m not supposed to tell you this. Gwen begged me not to. But I’m going to anyway, because I think you deserve to know.”

When she doesn’t continue, Blake says impatiently, “Thank you. What did she beg you not to tell me?”

“Blake… Gwen has been in love with you since, I don’t know, like July? Since the blind auditions for the Voice. Hell, maybe even before that.This whole public relations thing was her idea in the first place. Not to trick you or anything, but because she didn’t know how else to deal with her feelings. She was panicking about not being relevant anymore, and she was freaking out because of the divorce, and Gwen just couldn’t handle all of it at once.”

Blake’s stomach drops. He feels like he suddenly has a fever. “What else? If she was so into me, why did she break up with me the way she did?”

Jen clears her throat. “Well, it’s complicated…”

“Jen. Please just tell me. I’ll give you a million dollars. I’ll put money in your kids’ college fund. I will do anything if you’ll just tell me why she broke up with me.”

“Okay, okay, okay. What happened is that she signed a contract in the beginning for the PR situation. She didn't tell you because... well, there are a lot of reasons why and I'll let her tell you that eventually. But as you know, the deal was you two would break up in January so they could capitalize on it to promote the singles and eventually the albums. Gwen tried her absolute hardest to get out of it, but the label didn’t budge. And now she’s on the hook for all the money she made from her singles and everything in the months you were together, plus some of the sales of her album in the future. But that's not the worst part--she doesn't really care about the money, although she has been worrying about that a little since her idiot ex took half in the divorce. "

Jen stops to take a breath and seems to forget that she's in the middle of her explanation.

"Jen? What's the worst part?"

"Oh. The worst part is that the whole PR relationship would be leaked to the press. They have documents and everything. It'll be all over the news. And she didn't want that for you because she knows it might hurt your career."

Blake is absolutely bewildered by this information. He has no idea how to process all of this.

"Why didn't she tell me?! We could have figured this out together, Jen!"

"I know that, Blake. Todd knows that. _Everybody_ knows that and we tried to tell her, but Gwen is so stubborn sometimes. So she didn’t want to tell you about it because… I don’t know why. Her pride. Or because she thought you might not believe her. I just want you to know, Blake--the last thing in the world she wanted to do is break up with you.”

None of this makes sense. He can't believe it. All he knows is that he has to find Gwen immediately. No! Before he does that, he has to talk to Matthew and Amanda. 

"Thanks, Jen. I gotta go."

"Are you going to go find her? Please tell me you're going to find her!"

"I'm sure as hell gonna try," Blake says, and hangs up.

Blake makes a few angry phone calls and gets to the bottom of whom he needs to talk to about this. He didn’t plan to leave Nashville until he absolutely had to, but now he finds himself on a plane back to L.A. He’s on a mission now, and nothing is going to stop him.

Blake gets a rental car at LAX and drives directly to his destination. When he gets inside the building, he marches straight to Matthew’s office. He doesn’t talk to the secretary (who is calling his name nervously); he only has one thing on his mind.

"I want Gwen out of this contract," Blake demands as soon as he angrily enters Matthew's office.

Matthew instantly looks nervous. Blake rarely uses his height and his loud voice to intimidate people, but he is not in the mood today.

“Blake, nice to see you today. What can I do for you?”

“You can tell me about this contract Gwen signed and what I can do to get her out of it."

"Well, as you probably know, Gwen is in Japan right now, so there's really not much we can do," Matthew says, waving his hands in the air like he's some kind of asshole magician.

"That doesn't work for me," Blake says. "I need more information."

“Um, hold on a second, Blake--” Matthew picks up his cell phone and starts rapidly texting people. A moment later, Amanda comes into the office, looking like she’s ready to take Blake on for some reason.

“Now, Blake, we don’t want to cause a scene,” Amanda says calmly. “Why don’t we sit down and talk about this?”

“No, thanks, I’d rather stand,” Blake replies. “I’ve been informed of the situation and I’m just--I’m so mad. You took advantage of Gwen. She signed that contract because she was desperate,  
and you wouldn’t let her out of it.”

“Yes, well, we realize there are extenuating circumstances that made the contract inconvenient for her, but that’s the price of doing business,” Amanda says, looking less and less confident in what she’s saying as Blake looks more and more like he’s going to explode.

“I’ll tell you where to put your whatever circumstances,” Blake snarls. “Tell me how much it would cost her to get out of this ridiculous fucking contract or I’ll settle this the way we do in Oklahoma.” 

Okay, so that’s a pretty direct threat and Blake knows he’s crossing the line. But he doesn’t care anymore. _Can’t_ care anymore. 

Matthew just blinks. Amanda does not look particularly moved by this spectacle, however. Blake figures she probably deals with assholes all day. And now he’s one of them.

“Okay, I’ll tell you how much Gwen would owe us if she breached the contract, because I can see how important it is to you,” Amanda says. She takes out her phone and looks up some figures, and then she and Matthew have an angry whispered conversation that Blake doesn’t pay attention to. 

Amanda writes a number down on a blank piece of paper and slides it over to Blake. He doesn't even blink.

"I can pay you that right now," Blake says. "Gwen doesn't even have to know."

"Well, I don't think that's really up to you, Blake, but even if it were, there's still another matter of the contract that can't just go away, even with all the money you're prepared to pay."

Blake nods. "Ah, yes. The leak. Well, look, you go call US Magazine or People or the National Enquirer for all I give a shit. I'll talk to anyone about anything; they can do a full interview and I'll tell them everything they've ever wanted to know. I don't care anymore. Just release Gwen from her goddamn contract."

Matthew and Amanda stare at Blake like he just made all their dreams come true or something. Blake wonders if he should check with Gwen before he does an interview, but he's not exactly thinking clearly. All he wants to do is go find his girl, but he supposes he has to tell the world what a fraud he is first.

There is a lot of hurried whispering and texting and phone calls being made, but finally Amanda puts her phone on the desk and says, "Fine, Blake. If you pay us the money and give an interview, we'll consider Gwen free of her contract. We've called People and they should have a reporter here soon."

Blake nods. "Let's get this over with."

Two hours later, Blake is done. The article will be on the internet tomorrow. It might ruin his career, but he just doesn't care anymore. 

Blake speeds back to the airport and returns his rental car. He runs up to the nearest ticket counter and blurts out, “I need a ticket to Japan and I need it fast!” Because now… Blake knows exactly where he’s going and what he’s going to do when he gets there.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. I realize it is unforgiveable that it took me this long to add another chapter. I have excuses!   
> a. As I've said, I started a new career and it terrifies me every day and when I get home I don't exactly have the energy or creativity to write.  
> b. But also, my number one obsession in life, Guns N' Roses and Axl Rose, is doing stuff and I've been focusing most of my fangirl energy on that. I know! I'm sorry.
> 
> But alas, although it took me forever, I am finished with this story. I'll be posting this chapter and then an epilogue, and hopefully it will meet all your reader needs. Thank you so much for everyone's passion for this story! I am so happy that it resonated with so many people. Thank you for your patience, and thank you for reading, and I'm sorry again for all the ridiculous delays.
> 
> Sidenote: We're getting our duet tomorrow! I'm so excited! I'm so scared! *screamcry*

_People Magazine received a call from Blake Shelton personally. He asked us if he could be interviewed. We were obviously taken aback, as we all know Blake doesn’t commonly seek out interviews. Our interest piqued, we said yes. He came into our office ready to talk._

Interviewer: So you called us here today to go on record about your relationship with Gwen Stefani. What would you like the public to know about the relationship in question?

Blake: Well, I don’t want the public to know anything--it’s honestly none of their business. But I do have something to say. An announcement, I guess. As some people have thought from the beginning, the relationship was born out of a public relations thing. It was arranged between our labels for the purpose of furthering our careers. 

I: Wow. That is shocking news. I don’t really know where to begin! Well, let’s start at the beginning. Why did this happen?

B: Because she is a certain age, and because of her personal life at the time, Gwen was panicking about her career. So she and her management came up with a few ideas. One of the ideas was to make the public think that Gwen and I were falling in love--that we were in a relationship. Apparently if people believe that we found love on the set of the show, and that we are helpin’ each other through our situations, that they’d be more likely to buy our albums and singles and watch the show. I don’t believe any of that crap is true, but I said yes. I didn't want to do any of this, but Gwen did--for a bunch of reasons--and I just felt like I was doing a favor for a friend. 

I: I see. Well, what did the public relations agreement entail?

B: That Gwen and I pretend like we're in a relationship for at least four months, until season 9 of the Voice was over and our singles started to come out on the radio. That we go out together, be seen, have pictures taken. That we flirt on the show and in between commercial breaks. That we tweet stuff about each other. The usual crap.

I: So what were your feelings towards the PR situation going into it?

B: I thought it was all bull****. I didn't know this kind of thing happened until Gwen told me about it. But apparently the public likes to see two people in love, and it makes them want to hear the songs we wrote about each other and whatever. I don’t feel like I need that exposure to help sell albums, but Gwen thought she needed to do it, so I stepped up. She is a good friend, and she does so much for so many people. I hated to see her struggling. She deserved so much more than how her label was treating her.

I: So if you had so many reservations about it, why did you do it? Why did you knowingly deceive the public about your so-called relationship?

B: Well, like I said, I was helpin' out a friend. Gwen had been told that the songs she was writing were too personal, and they didn't think she'd have a single hit. And her divorce had been brutal and she was worryin' a lot about the future. I saw that she needed help, and someone to talk to, and I couldn't say no.  
And also because they offered me a lot of money, and let me tell you--no matter how much you got, you want more. And by the way, I don't know about all this "deceivin' the public" thing you're talkin' about. Like I said, the public doesn't need to know about my personal life. I don't _need_ to have the ***damn paparazzi followin' me everywhere I go in Los Angeles. I love my fans; they're very passionate. They’re the reason why I’m here. But I don't owe them my soul and neither does Gwen.

I: Okay, so I see in my notes here, you and Gwen have been in a fake relationship since August of 2015, is that correct?

B: No, actually, that's total bullcrap. We were in a "fake" ( _Note - Mr. Shelton makes air quotes here)_ relationship up until last December, at which point we realized that somewhere along the way, we'd fallen in love. It wasn't supposed to happen like that--I actually had a girlfriend, Sara, in Oklahoma. We had plans, and I really did her wrong and I'm still sorry about that. But as I spent more and more time with Gwen, I figured something out. 

I: Oh, yeah, what's that?

B: That Gwen and me, well, we're pretty dang good for each other. And, I mean, anyone can look at us and see that we have completely different backgrounds and maybe we seem kinda funny together, but we have a lot of the same beliefs and morals. We laugh at the same stupid stuff. We make each other happy. And her kids are the greatest. 

I: That's great. Speaking of which, are you ready to be a stepdad?

B: Well, that’s puttin’ the cart before the horse, as my mama used to say. But between you and me, yeah, if Gwen and I get back together, I would love to be a father figure to those boys. No offense to their real daddy--he’s a son of a **** but he is a great dad.

I: Wait, so you guys really did break up? Why? 

B: Because Gwen couldn't figure a way out of the contract, and she wanted to protect me from havin’ this whole thing leak to the press. That’s the kind of person she is, and I love her for it, even if it is kind of misguided. Well, I’m here today giving this interview for one reason. And that’s to say, if I have to make a decision between havin' my girl or bein' popular with the public or gettin’ in trouble with my management and label, I'll take my girl any day. 

I: So you're aware that the decision to talk to us might be deemed controversial to some of your fans?

B: Yeah, I figured that. And I don't much care anymore. A lot of my so-called fans have already turned on me because of the whole Miranda thing. If I lose fans, if I get a bad reputation, if I have to go to work flippin' burgers, it'll be worth it if I'm doing it with Gwen by my side.

I: So you’re prepared to deal with the consequence of this interview?

B: Absolutely. I know what I’m doing, and I don’t care. I’d do anything for Gwen, and I want her--and everybody else--to know it.

I: That’s sweet. We should all be so lucky as to feel like that. Do you have a message for Gwen that you want us to relay? We have an office in Tokyo, you know.

B: No, I’ll give her a message myself, thanks.

I: Understood. Blake, thanks for talking to us today.

B: Thanks. I can't say it was fun. But I'm glad I got all this off my chest.

_With that, Blake shook the interviewer's hand and practically sprinted out of the office. Where was he going? We weren't sure, but a good bet would be on the nearest international airport._

****

Blake's driver in Japan is rocking out to Guns N' Roses, headbanging and all. Blake obviously isn't a big rock music fan, but he has a secret fondness for eighties heavy metal. So he silently sings along to Rocket Queen while the driver screams the lyrics. He's too tired to ask the guy to turn it down, anyway; Blake just spent nearly 12 hours on the longest flight ever, and he wasn't able to sleep at all. Part of it was due to him being so anxious to see Gwen, but it was also because he's never really been out of the country. Hell, he didn't even have a passport until Sara made him get one in anticipation of their trip to Paris. So he stares out of the window at all the new, fascinating, different sights, more lost than ever, hoping to soon be found.

The driver is not watching the road and Blake doesn't particularly feel safe, but he doesn't care. There's only one thing on his mind--other than the amazing scenery--and the driver is taking him directly to her, so he'll put up with whatever is between him and Gwen right now. He still can't believe she didn't tell him about the contract. Part of him is a bit hurt by that, actually. Although he is mostly positive that Gwen was trying to shield him from the bad press, he wonders if she ever even thought about, you know, telling him about it? Maybe she was looking for an excuse to break up with him--maybe she didn’t love him as much as he thought she did. Aghhh, he hates this! Those last couple of years with Miranda sure made it easy for him to doubt himself when it comes to relationships. Blake realizes he still has a lot to learn, and a lot of baggage to manage.

When a Skid Row song comes on the radio and the driver starts rocking out to it just as hard, Blake checks his phone again to make sure he can find the message from Danilo about where Gwen is. Danilo loves Blake and the feeling is mutual, and Blake knows he can count on the guy to not tell Gwen that he's coming. Blake wants it to be a surprise--which is probably kind of dumb, seeing that he has no idea if Gwen even wants to see him. Nor does he know if People has published the interview yet, and if anyone has told her it exists. There's so many things at play here and Blake is nervous about all of them.

They finally arrive at Gwen's hotel, and the driver never turns off the engine but continues to scream along to the music. So Blake pays him and hauls ass out of the car. He sends Danilo a text that he's arrived, and Danilo assures him he's in the right place. 

Blake's heart is pounding as he rides the elevator to the 12th floor, the top of the hotel. He exits the elevator and as he nears the room Danilo texted him, he hears the telltale songs of a room Gwen is occupying--the sound of reggae wafting through the hallway. It would be a stretch to say Blake enjoys the same kind of music Gwen does, but if she lets him back into her life, he will listen to anything she wants him to. 

He's about to knock on the door, but something makes him hesitate. This is real. He flew all the way to Japan to make this right. So many "what-ifs" go through his mind. But it's time to find out once and for all if the two of them can make this work after all. Because Blake is sure, at nearly 40 years old, that's he's finally found his soul mate. And that is a powerful feeling.

Blake takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. It's time.

****

Gwen is alone. Both literally and figuratively. Her entourage has cleared out of the room for a while, and she's been enjoying something strange for her life--silence. Well, the absence of talking, at least--of course she has her music on in the background. She's so used to having the constant chatter of boys (and men who act like boys) around her that she nearly forgot what this feels like. Really, though, she's not comfortable. It gives her more time and room in her head to feel the pulsating rhythm of loneliness. 

It's even worse now than when she felt so sad in those later years with Gavin. Because at least then, she didn't truly know that there was someone out there in the world who gets her as much as Blake Shelton does--or did, anyway. And she was still pretending that she was still as in love with Gavin as she was when they got married. Which was obviously a lie--neither of them were the same people anymore. How could she be? Gavin was always feeling the affects of a failing career; of having a band whose heyday had long passed them by. Despite what he was always accusing her of, Gwen never rubbed her success in his face. She was always humble, always tried to downplay the praise so Gavin didn't get his precious ego wounded. It didn't matter, though. Both of them still changed, their marriage changed, their love changed. And even then, after realizing that the man she fell in love with--the father of her children, even--was long gone, Gwen still didn't feel such crushing sadness as she does now. God, she just misses Blake so much. When does it get easier? And _how_?

Going down this road really pisses her off, actually. Because Gwen is in Japan, literally her favorite place on earth. She adores the country, the people, the lifestyle--everything. Every time she comes here, she's still surprised how comfortable she feels. And the way she's embraced in Japan makes her so warm and happy. Someday, she may even end up moving here, when the boys are grown and her career has reached its peak. Being so sad here makes her feel like she's dishonoring it, somehow. Like she's disrespecting Japan by bringing her somberness to the country. She's performing in a few hours, and earlier, she was even fitted for a kimono by some very nice and helpful ladies. Gwen loves kimonos! And she loves nice and helpful Japanese ladies, too. So why can't she get out of this funk? She's going to miss Blake in any country she's in, so it would be awesome if she could just focus on the present one without the extra drama.

Gwen is drifting towards maybe taking a nap--something she hardly ever gets to do anymore--when she hears a knock on the door. She's actually grateful for the interruption. The idea of being alone is actually much more appealing than actually being alone, it turns out.

However, when she opens the door, the person she least expects in the world is on the other side of it. She'd be less surprised if she opened the door and saw David Bowie standing there with a bouquet of roses. Gwen's heart starts beating faster and she wonders if she's having a heart attack or maybe just a hallucination.

"Is it really you?" She asks, reaching for him automatically because she can't stop herself. He just looks so… _Blake_. He’s got his camo shirt on, and the cowboy boots, and he’s all tall, and he’s got those eyes, and she loves him so much and how could she ever live without him?

"It's me," Blake says, and before he can even finish, she's grabbed his hand and she's pulling him into her room. They're kissing, and kissing a lot, and there's so much to talk about, but she doesn't want to. Not yet. 

When things start getting more interesting, Blake pulls away. "Wait. Wait a second. There's something you need to know before anything else happens."

Gwen's heart continues beating rapidly, but for a different reason now. What in the world is he going to tell her? Did he get back together with Miranda in the short time they've been apart? Does he have a debilitating condition he rushed to Japan to tell her about? Ah, the perks of being a mother--constantly worrying about everyone and everything around you.

"Okay. Okay, yes, it would be good to know why exactly you're here," Gwen says, trying to slow her beating heart, trying to calm down, trying not to get her hopes up.

"Come sit down with me," Blake says. They both make their way to the big sofa in the hotel room. Gwen sits facing him, wanting to see his eyes whenever he says what he has to say.

"Why are you here?" Gwen repeats softly. 

"It's a long story--"

"I want to know every detail."

Blake takes a deep breath and then exhales. "Okay. I'll just get straight to the point. A few days ago, I just finished up in Nashville and I was havin' a drink, when I noticed that you sent me your album. I put it on, and I couldn't help but notice that most of the songs, well... they were about me. About _us._ And I couldn't figure out why you'd write all those things if you were just going to break up with me. For no reason, even. It drove me so crazy that I finally had to call Todd and ask him what the hell was goin' on."

Gwen gets it now. "And you talked to Jen."

"And I talked to Jen. She told me everything. I mean, I think she did. Unless there's somethin' else you haven't shared with me yet."

Gwen shakes her head. "No. I'm sure Jen told you everything. I just... couldn't tell you about the contract."

"Why not? Do you not trust me enough to talk to me about this kind of crap? We could have figured it out together."

"How?" Gwen asks. "How were we going to get out of it?"

"It doesn't matter. You should have told me. It broke me, Gwen. You leavin' me broke me."

Gwen nods sadly. "I know. And you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She wants to ask if they're okay now. If they can fly under the radar for a while until they get everything settled with the contract. But something tells her that’s not exactly why Blake has traveled so far to find her, so she waits for him to continue.

"Well... we don't have to worry about that now," Blake says. "I want you to know that it's not a problem anymore."

Gwen's stomach drops. "What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talkin' about, I handled it. Just like I could have--and _should_ have--before you had to end it with me.” His voice sounds bitter, but Gwen is becoming desperate to know what he means.

“Okay. Okay, Blake, tell me how you ‘handled’ it, please, before my head explodes.”

Blake looks worried, which does not make her feel any better. “Look, I did this for you. For us. And I understand that it might… piss you off, but please remember that.”

“What the fuck did you do?!” Gwen is already getting pissed and she doesn’t even know what happened yet.

Blake gets out his phone and types a few things, and then reluctantly hands it to her. Her chest hurts when she sees that she’s looking at an article on People.com. What in the world?

“Is this real?” Gwen asks in disbelief.

“Oh, it’s real." Blake at least has the sense not to look proud of himself.

Gwen shakes her head and continues to read. Blake can’t look her in the eye; he picks at a spot on his jeans while he waits for her to finish.

“Oh, my God. I can’t… I don’t… I can’t believe this is happening! Why on EARTH did you think this was a good idea?!” Gwen shrieks.

“What the hell else were we going to do?” Blake yells. “You signed that goddamned contract and there was no way to get out of it--and believe me, I tried--without going to the press and paying it out. I took a chance! I thought you wanted to be with me, and from what Jen said--”

“Wait. What did you just say?”

Blake sighs. “I said, I took a chance, and if you want--”

“NO! Before that. About paying it out. Paying what out? Please don’t tell me what I think you’re going to tell me, Blake.”

“What don’t you want me to tell you, and then I won’t.” Blake replies.

Gwen glares at him. “Blake. Please.”

“I paid off your contract,” Blake blurts out. “Don’t freak out. I know you’re going to want to pay me back, and that’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Speechless. Gwen is literally speechless. She knows how much money Blake had to pay to get out of the contract, and it’s not a small number. It’s certainly the amount of getting at least one of her sons through college. And the fact that Blake paid it just to be with her again is not something she’ll probably ever be able to handle.

“Blake… why did you do that?” Gwen asks when she’s able to speak again. “I’m sure if we just rode it out, the contract wouldn’t matter anymore and we could--”

“The contract is valid until January of 2017,” Blake interrupts her. “Apparently that goddamn contract says that if we appear in public together, or our picture is taken going or coming from our respective houses, whatever, _you_ are in breach of contract. And I feel like, and I _think_ you feel like, that is too damn long to wait. So yes, I spoke to the media, I paid the money, and now I’m here in Japan to beg for you to come back to me. We’ve both made some dumb mistakes, but we can put that behind us now. We can start again. No more PR bullshit, nothin’. It’s you and me, and your boys, and probably Betty if my mom can part with her.”

Gwen bites her lip to keep from crying, but it doesn’t work. Blake wipes away her tears with his thumb.

“But what about the interview? You know that’s not going to be good for you, Blake. Your label, your fans..." Not to mention _her_ label and fans. This is a disaster!

“I don’t know the answer to that right now. But I’m gonna be just fine, okay? So are you. Your album is gonna go straight to the top because the public, your fans, everyone knows how much you hate to lie. That you broke up with me because you wanted to protect me. That you signed the contract in the first place because you thought you weren’t relevant anymore. They’ll know that, Gwen. And it’s going to happen for you.”

Gwen doesn’t know if any of that is true, but she is sure about one thing--she is in love with Blake Shelton, and she wants to be with this man who put it all on the line for her. _For her._ Forever. She can be mad at him later. 

Gwen exhales. “Okay. Thank you. Thank you for doing all of this for me. And I promise that I will do everything possible to return the favor. For as long as you’ll let me. One more thing--I won’t keep things from you anymore, to protect you or for any other reason. I’m sorry I did that. I just didn’t know what else to do.” 

“I know. But we gotta talk about these things now. Between the two of us, we’ll figure it out together. Okay? Promise me we’re going to figure it out together.”

“I promise,” Gwen sniffs. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Okay then. So why don’t you show me around a little before your show tonight? I’ve never been to Japan, you know.”

Gwen’s face lights up. She was looking forward to maybe, you know, doing things that didn’t involve any clothing, but she’s more excited about giving Blake a little tour around the place she loves so much. She wants him to love everything she loves, if that’s possible.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Gwen asks. 

Blake grins. “Not recently, no.”

“Well, I love you. A lot. And I can’t wait to show you around.” 

“I can’t wait for a lot of things,” Blake says, and they both giggle. Gwen goes to the bathroom and reapplies her make-up since she looks like a hot mess. And they spend the rest of the afternoon ignoring both of their phones and the mess that awaits them back home. They have plenty of time to deal with that. But for now, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but his hand in her hand, and the beautiful afternoon in the warm Japanese sun.

****

The trip to Japan had been fun for Blake; he reconnected with Gwen and enjoyed experiencing the sights, sounds, and culture. Plus, seeing Gwen in her element made him happy, too.   
Having Gwen back in his arms again was something he never thought would happen again, and he realized just how much he missed her. 

But now they’re back in the States--back to reality. Blake’s label and management are predictably angry with him. There’s talk of them dropping Blake completely. Eventually, cooler heads prevail when they realize his new album is coming out in May and how much money they can make off his newest reputation and controversial remarks. Still, nobody’s happy with him and he’s going to have to make it right somehow.

Plus, Blake’s Twitter is blowing up with angry replies, and the paparazzi are as ruthless as ever. Some people are just so offended that he and Gwen “lied” to them. Blake doesn’t get it and probably never will--how could a fake relationship make people so angry? How does it even affect them at all?! Gwen has tried explaining it but to no avail. 

However, Blake finds it liberating to _just not care._ He doesn’t care about any of this. The producers of the Voice are still embracing him, and his friends on the show--especially Adam, of course--are all very encouraging and optimistic about the future. 

Blake also hosts the Kids’ Choice Awards, which is a raging success. Gwen, her kids, plus Todd and Jen’s kids, and also Endy and her kids are all in the audience, which makes Blake loves. This is his family now. He looks forward to a future where his house is never quiet, where he always gets to impart wisdom to a young boy, where he gets to help Gwen raise these guys and watch them become men. This was never important to him before he met Gwen--hell, he doesn’t even know what used to be important anymore. Beer, Miranda, playing pool with his friends until dawn; those things were great once upon a time, but now he has all he wants. And more.

As far as Blake’s reputation goes, well, they’ll have to see what happens when the album drops in May. He’s pretty sure his true fans aren’t going to give a tiny rat’s ass about what happened with the PR relationship. And maybe he has some new fans now. Gwen’s album seems to be doing just fine in pre-sales, and it’s coming out even sooner. They'll be just fine, probably.

And now, finally, it’s time for Spring Break. This is something he and Gwen started planning months ago, and it’s finally here. They are taking the kids to Oklahoma for an entire week, and Blake can’t wait to show them around. The calming water of the lake, the visible stars in the night sky, the house he had built to his specifications--he can’t wait to show it all off. And he knows Gwen is going to love the solitude. See, _that’s_ what Blake cares about now. Not numbers on a chart or what Charles from Tallahassee has to say about Blake’s tweets. He cares about his new little family, and making them happy. Maybe he has gone Hollywood after all, but who fucking cares? Certainly not him. Not anymore.

****

Gwen wakes up before everyone else--Jen and Todd, all the kids, the nanny, and all the rest of the entourage--and carefully gets out of bed so as not to wake Blake. It's nearly impossible to do that, anyway, since he sleeps like the dead most of the time. Gwen is actually jealous of how quickly he falls--and stays--asleep. On the floor in her bed, Betty raises her head to see Gwen getting up. She begrudgingly stretches and gets up to follow her.

Gwen finds a robe, and then pads lightly into the kitchen and fumbles for the light. She opens the door to let Betty outside, where it's still dark. Somehow Gwen manages to find the coffee in the huge kitchen, and checks her email and tweets while it brews. Her tweets make her smile--she has some of the most amazing and devoted (not to mention forgiving) fans--but her email makes her want to scream loud enough to wake up the whole town of Tishomingo. According to not only her manager, but many other sources, her album is still number one on iTunes and is slated be on top of the Billboard charts next week. Unbelievable, Gwen thinks. Her first number one album. And her label didn't even think she'd have _one_ successful song.

When the coffee is ready, Gwen takes her cup outside and sits on the porch. The sun is starting to rise slowly, illuminating the countryside in a hue of orange and pink that takes Gwen's breath away, it's so magically beautiful. She says a little prayer as the colors permeate the sky, thanking God for everything that's happening. For her success. Gwen can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride that her music, her songs, her voice, her words, and most of all, her story are clearly still affecting so many people. That her heartbreak and then her subsequent joy is touching other people's lives. Music is her way of coping with the grief and overwhelming feeling of betrayal and all the conflicting feelings that the divorce had caused. Every now and then she can't help but wonder--did she need to go through all of the pain that Gavin caused in order to feel the amazing happiness that Blake brought back into her life? Probably, she thinks. There was probably no other way.

Her mother shared an expression with her once that made her cringe at the time--"You have to go through the rain to get to the rainbow." Well, now she realizes just how true those words are. Maybe she could have kept her marriage going for another few years, maybe forever, turning a blind eye to all of Gavin's indiscretions. But then she would have never known what true love feels like. What it's like to lay in the arms of a man who she feels one hundred percent safe with; a man who went through the same thing she did and would never, ever take advantage of her feelings for him. A man she'll never stop writing songs about.

As the sun continues its journey to the sky, Gwen also realizes how close she came to losing it all. The People article could have destroyed them both, but after a few weeks, after everyone has calmed down a bit, it seems like it's doing the opposite--making the public understand how ridiculous these situations can be. How Gwen was terrified she'd become irrelevant without her band behind her, and at her age. How Blake never meant to fall in love so quickly after his divorce. The article could have ruined everything, but it didn't. And Gwen feels like the luckiest woman on the planet. She and Blake are truly blessed and she hopes to _never_ take that for granted.

A few minutes later, the door opens and Gwen knows it's Blake without having to turn around. She can just sense him now. Plus his giant Bigfoot feet always give him away.

"Hey, it's chilly out here, put this on," Blake says, and hands her an oversized Cardinals sweatshirt.

"Thank you," she says, as he sits down next to her and kisses her cheek. Gwen never gets over how cute Blake looks when he just wakes up. His hair is disheveled and he has all this extra stubble that she kind of thinks is unbearably sexy. "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Nah, the smell of coffee did. And then you weren't next to me when I opened my eyes so I had to come find ya," he says. She grins at him, and they share a morning breath kiss. It was only a few months ago that she would have never let him see her like this, with no make-up and coffee breath. But she doesn't care anymore. After almost losing him over the stupid contract, she doesn't want to hide anything from him. No secrets ever again.

The two of them sit in silence for a moment, listening to the sounds of the morning. Gwen absolutely loves this place. She'd only been to Oklahoma on tour with No Doubt, but she never explored it, or even wanted to. And now she wishes she could bring the boys here and live among the plains forever. Maybe someday that can happen, but not any time soon. While she knows, and is confident in knowing, that Blake would love it, Gavin still has custody for two weeks a month. There's no getting around that.

"Can you believe we almost missed out on all of this because of a stupid PR agreement?" Gwen couldn't help but ask. "We're so dumb."

Blake chuckles. "Yes, we are definitely dumb, but maybe it's what had to happen to bring us here. You know? It's possible we would have found each other eventually anyway, but maybe this... helped."

Gwen nods. He's right. She reaches over and squeezes his hand in response.

The sun is bright in the sky now, although Gwen can see dark clouds looming in the distance. "I think it's going to rain today," she says.

"Good, we need it. I've got a lot of crops planted out here that could use some water.”

Gwen chuckles. "I love Farmer Blake. I want to learn more about all of it someday."

"You will, darlin'. You and the boys aren’t leaving here without learning how to plant tomatoes."

Gwen is quiet for a moment. "Maybe we can find a big place in California that isn't too far from L.A. Somewhere with lots of land. A ranch or something. I bet they'd like that."

It's not like they haven't talked about this before. Of course they have. But so far, Blake hasn't been completely receptive to the idea. He's not ready to let go of his Oklahoma dreams.

"Yeah... I would like that, too," Blake says, nodding. "Maybe when I'm done with this season of the show, we can start lookin' at some places.

Gwen can't help but grin, which makes Blake laugh. "What, did you think I wouldn't want that?" Blake asks.

"I... well, I don't know," Gwen admits. "I get that we're on the same page with almost everything, but I guess I'm just used to..."

Blake gets it, like Gwen knows he would. She's used to Gavin being such an asshole; she's used to everything coming with a fight that lasts for weeks. Nothing was easy with him. That’s why Blake tries his best to be the exact opposite, which Gwen loves and respects.

"We'll look for realtors when we get back," Blake says. Gwen nods, and they have a nice kiss, and everything is so utterly perfect that Gwen doesn't know what to do. So she kisses Blake again, and they go inside and make pancakes and bacon and eggs, while humming old eighties' songs and chasing each other around the kitchen like the idiots they are.

****

It's raining. No, actually, it's pouring. The kids are a bit disappointed; they were hoping to go fishing in the afternoon, but Blake doesn't want them anywhere near the lake when there's so much lightning. So they go outside and stomp in the puddles and run around like lunatics in the rain instead. This week, Zuma has skateboarded his way through Oklahoma, picking up some new tricks he saw on Youtube. Kingston’s been bonding with Betty; so much so that Blake is almost jealous--Betty is supposed to be _his_ girl. Apollo and Stella have been fascinated by the horses--Apollo stands back and claps happily when Stella gets to ride one.

And more importantly, Gwen is the happiest Blake has ever seen her, which satisfies him to no end. Because the second he saw her cry for the first time, he wanted to sweep her up and take her away from whatever was making her so sad. He wanted to bring her to Oklahoma; he wanted to make her a nice, hot meal. It was during season 7 and Gwen checked her phone during a commercial break during the lives. She thought no one was looking, so she wiped a few tears away, and then she wasn't the same for the next couple of hours. Blake knew right then that Gavin Rossdale was a son of a bitch, and he hoped that eventually Gwen would find the strength to leave him. Of course, Blake was going through basically the same thing in his own marriage and he hadn't found the courage to get out yet, either. But it doesn’t matter anymore. The past is the past, and they’re ready to take on their future.

Gwen keeps taking little videos and posting them on her chapsnat, or whatever the hell that thing is. She doesn’t want Blake in the videos--she has a bunch of reasons why, but he doesn’t care. It makes her happy, and apparently it makes her fans _really_ happy, so he grins every time she takes her phone out again. 

The whole crew has a little spur of the moment party in the rain when Gwen’s agent calls and tells her that she is definitely going to have the number one album next week on Billboard. Blake is so damn proud of her. She put her entire heart and soul into making it, and not only that, it’s a love letter to the beginning of their relationship. Maybe the next album can be about falling (and staying) in love, since that’s what they’re going to do.

Later, they order a bunch of pizza, and Gwen takes a lot of pictures of the rainy day sunset and rainbows. The kids are content; they’re all cozy in sweatshirts, drinking hot chocolate and eating the pizza. An old Willie Nelson song is playing in the background. Blake can’t imagine being any happier than this. It’s not physically possible. And what’s strange about that is he didn’t even know that is what he wanted, even a year ago when his marriage was dangerously close to blowing up in his face. But this is it. This is all he needs. 

After dinner, Blake teaches Zuma and Stella and King how to play poker--under the watchful eyes of their parents, of course. Gwen is reading, but she looks over every couple of minutes and smiles. At one point, she comes over to him and whispers in his ear, “You are so getting lucky tonight.” 

Okay, so maybe he needs that, too.

The week is going to end soon and everyone will be going in their different directions, so Blake tries to savor the moments they have left. He can tell Gwen feels the same, because she just has that look in her eye. She’s stopped taking so many videos and just observes.

After he gets lucky that night, he and Gwen lay side by side, holding hands, talking and laughing as they usually do afterwards. 

“It’s been a hell of a week,” Blake says. “I knew it would be, and it was.”

“Oh, Blake, it’s been so great. Thank you so much for having us all out here.”

“You never have to thank me for that, darlin’.”

Gwen giggles. She loves when he calls her that.

“Are you happy?” Blake asks, genuinely interested.

“I am. I’m very happy. I never knew I was capable of it, actually. It’s been so long since I knew what this felt like.”

Blake gets it. “Me, too. And you know what the best part about it is?”

“What’s that?”

“We both get to feel this way all the time now. We don’t have to wonder anymore. This is it.”

“This is it,” Gwen agrees. They kiss. A lot. Gwen is holding back, though--Blake knows her well enough to realize it.

“What’s wrong?” He asks her, halfway expecting Gwen to tell him nothing, because that’s how she is.

Gwen exhales. It’s dark, but he can see her eyes reflected in moonlight. “I can’t help but feel like… this is the best it’s going to get,” Gwen whispers. “I know we have so much ahead of us and like you said, we get to be happy now, and we _deserve_ to be happy now. But this week is like… a miracle. It’s everything I prayed for when I had nothing left to give. My boys are here and they’re loving every minute of it; Jen and Todd are having a blast, I feel so spiritual in the rain and the amazing sunsets, and my album is number one. And, well, I have you. My soul mate. My everything. I just don’t know how this can be topped.”

Blake is quiet for a moment. He gets what she means, but she’s wrong.

“I don’t see it that way. This is the week you prayed for because you were in a bad situation. This is your redemption week. And mine, too. Ours. Next time you come here, we can have it to ourselves. We won’t be comparing it to our shitty lives before. So that time will be the best it’s going to get, and the next time will be better.” He’s pretty sure he knows what he’s talking about.

“You always know the right thing to say. How do you do it?” Gwen asks, pulling him closer to her.

“I’m magical,” Blake says, and Gwen giggles. 

They eventually drift off to sleep, confident in knowing that for once in their lives, everything is as it’s supposed to be.


	9. Chapter 9

"I have known this moron for a few years now," Adam says. He's holding a glass of champagne in one hand and a piece of cake in the other. Beside him, Behati holds their baby boy, who just turned a year old, in her lap. "He is an absolute idiot. He drives me absolutely insane with his country mafia crap and I really, really hate when he's right--which, unfortunately for me, is somewhat often. He makes me laugh more than anyone I've ever met in my life, mostly due to sheer buffoonery, but also because he is a genuinely funny guy. Genuine. That's my favorite word for Blake, believe it or not, because that's who he is. Blake likes to talk a lot of crap about me, and I do the same, but I know if I were ever in trouble, he'd sell his soul to get me out of it.

"I don't know if any of you know this, but Blake was married before. Actually twice before, but we don't talk about that. He was still the man he is now, but there was something missing. And I knew from the second he met Gwen, it all changed. A light bulb went off in his head, I think. He suddenly figured out what was possible in this life. Things happened, things changed, things progressed. And now Blake Shelton is the happiest I have ever seen him. It's more than happiness--it's a sense of purpose. It's the added responsibility of now having three little boys to look after, and a woman he'd go to ends of the earth and back just to see her smile. Gwen, you are his sunshine when skies are gray, and we all thank you for being the one who brought back the light to his eyes. I love you so much--you are an inspiration. Blake, I love you, too, I guess. Congratulations, idiot."

Of course Adam earns a standing ovation for that. Gwen is crying, Blake is speechless--not for long, obviously. 

Blake stands up and walks to the podium to shake Adam's hand and give him a big hug.

"Gee, thanks, asshole," Blake says. "We love you, too. Even when you do look like the Marshmallow Man or Malibu Barbie with tattoos. Anyway, now my new bride and I would like to ask Sophie to give her speech, which will surely top Adam's even if Sophie comes up here and does an interpretive dance to Devo."

Cheers and applause greet Sophie Muller as she comes to the podium. Gwen can't stop smiling, and may never stop smiling. 

"Thanks, Blake. I left my leotard at home so I'll spare you the Devo dance," Sophie begins. "I've known Gwen for a long time, and through a lot of highs, and, to be honest, even more lows. She is the hardest working individual I've ever seen, and I don't say that lightly. To put in all the work she does for her music and her craft, and then go home and be a bad ass mother, that's not easy, nor is it supposed to be. And through it all, I've seen what a difference it makes to be with the right person. The right soul mate. When you have someone who lifts you up, someone who is proud and honest and happy for you and your success, it gives you a chance to be the woman you were meant to be.

"Blake, I've gotten a chance to get to know you over these last few years, and, well, I've never seen Gwen shine like she does since you've been in her life. Who knew all Gwen needed was a tall, handsome, curly haired cowboy? Not me. Probably not her. And yet here we are. I know Gwen believes in fate, and I also know she believes in God. I think both of those things brought you to each other. You two have weathered the storm and paid your dues, and now it's time to relax. Be in love. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Because it's clear that you found your soul mate, and that's more than most people can say. Congratulations, you two. You did it!"

Everyone cheers and applauds and whistles, and it's time for the fun part. Gwen and Blake are married. They're about to go on their honeymoon to Europe, where Gwen can't wait to show Blake everything he's never seen before. They still have so much to learn, and so much to teach each other.

While everyone chats and laughs and eats, it's time for Gwen and Blake's first dance, which is set to "Love is Like a Butterfly" by Dolly Parton. Strange choice, but so them.

Blake holds Gwen to him tightly whole they dance. Gwen, who changed after the ceremony into something more Gwen-like--a black body suit, mesh stockings, and a multi-colored teeny tiny skirt, with her red cowboy boots, is _still_ grinning. She can't stop kissing her new husband, the man who makes her feel like a teenager, the man who makes her (and her kids) laugh non-stop, the man who saved her. The man she almost lost out on because of a stupid public relations disaster. Gwen can hardly remember herself from back then. She was so lost, and so desperate. She knows Blake will never make her feel that way.

Gwen can't help but remember her wedding with Gavin. They were both so full of love and promises and wishes. And she couldn't wait to start having her babies. Of course there was that looming feeling of doubt; the feeling that he had a wandering eye and a way of talking to her sometimes that made her feel so small. But they'd get through that. Together! She and Gavin had some amazing memories together, but there was a cloud of negativity surrounding their marriage from the beginning.

But she doesn't feel that way about Blake. They talk about their issues like adults. When there's a problem, they figure it out. And usually in advance before it even happens. Blake is a good man, and Gwen is entirely confident in his love for her and his faith in her. They've got this. They're going to be good at this whole marriage thing.

Gwen looks over her shoulder and sees her mom and dad eating cake and laughing together. Her boys are playing tag in the corner with Todd and Jen and their kids. The rest of their guests are all having a good time, waiting for their turn to dance. Everything is good. Everything is right.

"I can't believe we're finally married," Gwen says. "You're my husband!"

"Damn right," Blake says. "And proud of it."

"I love you so much," Gwen says, and they kiss again, a very adult kiss right there on the dance floor in front of God and everyone.

"I love you, more, darlin'," Blake says. 

"Prove it," Gwen replies, staring into his eyes.

"Oh, you want me to prove it right now? I mean, I will, but at least wait until your mom and dad and my mom leave..."

Gwen giggles and hits Blake in the shoulder. "Save it for the hotel room."

They continue to dance, not even noticing when the song changes and their guests slowly start to join them on the dance floor. 

The future is somewhat uncertain between the two of them. Maybe they'll try to have another baby, and maybe they'll adopt one or two. Maybe they'll go on tour together for the hell of it. Maybe they'll eventually move to Oklahoma, or maybe they'll move to Japan. One thing is certain--whatever they do, it will be together. And it won't be because their record labels paid them to do it. It's Gwen and Blake, Blake and Gwen, and their own free will. 

"Do you think we would have found each other if we weren't on the show together?" Gwen asks him while they dance. She's asked before, she knows, but she's curious to know what he thinks now.

His answer has changed since the last time she asked. Without hesitation, Blake says, "Of course."

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because we're inevitable, babe," Blake says simply. Gwen likes this answer and chooses not to ask him to elaborate. They're inevitable. They're together. They're in love. They're married.  
They dance for hours, until all the guests have left. And they'll be dancing forever, because it was written in the stars.

****

_Blind Item - Celebrity Gossip Gazette, September, 2017  
Word on the street is that the celebrity couple who recently got married are in it for the long haul. Some speculated at the beginning that they only wanted the buzz and were not really in love or even in like--and the speculation was right! But now there is no doubt that these two were meant for each other._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for going on this journey with me! Sorry for the delays! Rock on!


End file.
